tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8428685.post114252652050987615..comments2023-09-19T07:50:13.308-07:00Comments on Feminary: Thinking more about marriage counselingStasihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10864458542635159512noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8428685.post-21197264602307409102008-06-23T21:54:00.000-07:002008-06-23T21:54:00.000-07:00dear Feminarian,i also agree with the first blogge...dear Feminarian,i also agree with the first blogger.christ is our companion always.he is with us even when we are lonely.<BR/><BR/>........................<BR/>jim dunn<BR/><BR/>Christian Drug Rehab<BR/><A HREF="http://www.christian-drug-rehab.org " REL="nofollow">Christian Drug Rehab/</A>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8428685.post-1142637196572989292006-03-17T15:13:00.000-08:002006-03-17T15:13:00.000-08:00Leaving because of a vast and overwhelming unhappi...<I>Leaving because of a vast and overwhelming unhappiness seems not-so-easy.</I><BR/><BR/>And this is the problem. My husband and I don't have a "bad" marriage. We don't fight. We aren't unkind or uncivil to each other. To look at us, you would never know anything was wrong.<BR/><BR/>But we are really nothing more than roommates. Counseling didn't work. My being very explicit about what I need hasn't worked. My treating him the way I want to be treated hasn't worked. He just doesn't <B>need</B> in the same way that I do---emotionally, physically, or any other way. He shies from intimacy with me, although he is very affectionate with our children.<BR/><BR/>Our children are young. That is why I am trying so hard to be "good." I believe strongly that you sacrifice your own desires for your children---that their welfare comes first. They deserve to have an intact family. I'm just wondering, however, whether I can pay the price to give it to them.<BR/><BR/>And if I decide I can't, is God going to abandon me because I was "sinful" and gave up?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8428685.post-1142632907713156772006-03-17T14:01:00.000-08:002006-03-17T14:01:00.000-08:00Dear, Feminarian. I agree with the first commente...Dear, Feminarian. I agree with the first commenter: you have the makings of a great pastor.<BR/><BR/>That commenter's first paragraph sounds like me five years ago. My wife was uncooperative. She did not want to work on the marriage. She just wanted out.<BR/><BR/>I decided that I had to let her live and grow. I would grant her the civil divorce, but I told her that between me and God I was still committed. I would "render unto Caesar...". I will have to put up with being lonely.<BR/><BR/>(My now ex-wife and I were both seminary M.Div. graduates. Recently she got a doctorate in ministry.)jwhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15511229347375791567noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8428685.post-1142612326475058762006-03-17T08:18:00.000-08:002006-03-17T08:18:00.000-08:00I had a similar situation - married a quiet lovely...I had a similar situation - married a quiet lovely man who would suddenly exhibit this terrifying anger. Completely fixed with meds, but for a couple years, I lived in fear of the mood swings and of getting my face smashed in (I hope if that had happened I'd have the sense to leave). Of course, when someone is shy and/or chemically imbalanced, they don't usually want to go to counseling for it! And they shouldn't. It's a <I>medical</I> problem not a psychological one.<BR/><BR/>I frequently think that I've gone through this stuff with him, and my own clinical depression, so that I can more easily recognize these symptoms in other people. I think a pastor who knows when to refer to a psychiatrist (or psychologist as the case may be) is a wise person.Stasihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10864458542635159512noreply@blogger.com