tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8428685.post812720952861731191..comments2023-09-19T07:50:13.308-07:00Comments on Feminary: Failure againStasihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10864458542635159512noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8428685.post-36010682618774462752008-04-23T09:13:00.000-07:002008-04-23T09:13:00.000-07:00I'm one of those who has no idea what to do with o...I'm one of those who has no idea what to do with other people's children, but seemed---somehow---to be pretty competent with my own.<BR/><BR/>So don't worry--you'll do fine. Especially now that you can eat again!<BR/><BR/>Pax,<BR/>DoxyWormwood's Doxyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10882756844690851674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8428685.post-6204751558165620662008-04-23T08:53:00.000-07:002008-04-23T08:53:00.000-07:00Yes, apparently my sis and mom both employed the "...Yes, apparently my sis and mom both employed the "leave them in their crib" technique. Sis told me that if you put them in and take a shower, then you get the double benefit of not hearing the crying anymore AND getting a shower (which is relaxing and you probably haven't had one in days). And usually by the time shower's done, the baby is either asleep or has stopped crying. With this recent visitor I had nowhere safe to put her, so I was stuck, but that will definitely not be the case with our own one.Stasihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10864458542635159512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8428685.post-3366554110721023102008-04-23T08:47:00.000-07:002008-04-23T08:47:00.000-07:00As the mother of an almost-12-year-old and a 7-yea...As the mother of an almost-12-year-old and a 7-year-old, I can assure you that it *is* different with your own kid.<BR/><BR/>Not that you won't have moments that you'll want to shake them, mind you. You WILL. That means you are human, not that you are a terrible mother.<BR/><BR/>Never forget that you can put them in a crib or other safe, contained space, and leave the room until you get control of your emotions. There were a number of times that I had to put my crying son safely in his room and close the door between us for a few minutes. Crying did not hurt him, and the breather it gave me was a lifesaver for both of us.Wormwood's Doxyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10882756844690851674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8428685.post-64779062481686904292008-04-20T17:28:00.000-07:002008-04-20T17:28:00.000-07:00It is different with your own kid.I have never fel...It <I>is</I> different with your own kid.<BR/><BR/>I have never felt particularly intuitive with kids, and as I got older (i.e., out of babysitting age) I found it harder and harder to communicate with them well. Don't have this problem with Clare. I get her (mostly, I mean, even with moms sometimes Toddlerish is just gibberish.) And she gets me.<BR/><BR/>What I've found with Clare is that if she's screaming, there's some sort of reason and it's usually pretty easy to figure it out. It gets harder nowadays since she's a toddler with more complex needs/wants than a baby, but even so, it's a matter of working through the possibilities, which are finite. <BR/><BR/>See, you knew what the issue with this kid was--and you knew the problem was not that you didn't know what was wrong but that you were the wrong person to fix it, and that's not your fault.<BR/><BR/>Brent and I used to have what we called "childless moments" for years before we had Clare. Once I got pregnant I assumed they would stop, but I think I was about 5 or 6 months along when we saw this horrible kid totally tyrannizing his whole table at a restaurant while his parents flitted about helplessly...and as I thought "childless moment" and started to lean forward to share the thought with Brent my big ol; belly bumped the table and I thought, oh shit. I'm not allowed to have those any more, now what???<BR/><BR/>Finally...you know your body better than anyone else. You're not a medical object and hurrah for not allowing yourself to be turned into one!JTBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05977180734561873789noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8428685.post-20832195186914798382008-04-19T13:47:00.000-07:002008-04-19T13:47:00.000-07:00I am reliably told that it *is* different when it'...I am reliably told that it *is* different when it's your own kid. Which is not to say that there won't be difficult times; I have to imagine that there will. (Have you read Anne Lamott's "Operating Instructions"? She writes beautifully about writing and Jesus and single-parenting.) But I think it's different when the kid is yours, on all sorts of levels.rbarenblathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10882606147795083729noreply@blogger.com