"Be on guard, so that your hearts will not be weighted down with dissipation and drunkenness and the worries of life..."
(Luke 21:34a, NASB)
This verse really struck me this morning. Jesus is talking about being prepared for his return. I know that my work this Advent is on my addiction to my stuff and anxiety and worry. I believe I (with God's help, of course) can work this whole confusing upsetting mess (apartment, robbery, etc) into something useful. Something to help me grow. And I know that involves letting go. Or at least, recognizing that all things come from God as gifts, and if they are taken away, God is still there. The point of stuff, of things, of persons, of animals, of anything, is to offer thanks for it back to God. The point is not the stuff itself. Love of it for itself is concupiscence, disordered love. Our failure is in not realizing that all good things come from God, and our love is for God alone. These things can be wonderful when they lead us to praise God. They can be traps if they don't.
So I am trying to learn from the loss of many things, from stockings to comfortable accomodations. It's funny, as I shop for J's stocking (and he for mine), I think about how silly it's going to be when on Xmas morning when we have nothing to stuff. I don't know what's going to happen. I guess I'll hand over his goodies in the bags from the stores. That's depressing.
At any rate, I can keep reminding myself of what is important and what is right, what to focus on. I really can't wait to get away on this trip. I need to be away from here. Plus it will be nice to be in a home that feels Christmasy. And I don't even have to set it up or clean it up! I have lots of great stuff to read, and puzzles to do, and movies to watch. And bubble bath. It's going to be very nice.
My hope is to release those "worries of life" and instead turn my attention to Christ, coming once and again, and even now into those parts of my life that need his presence, reassurance, and love. I long to let go and put everything in its proper place again.
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