Hi, it's me, resurfacing after a couple weeks of this SAHM experiment. Well damned if it isn't about the hardest thing I've ever tried. These women were not kidding when they said it was all-consuming! Quite honestly, it's not so much the baby care that wears me down - it's the damn housework. I haaaaate housework. I've been thinking I need to go to work just so I can afford a maid. But what would happen then is that all the money I made would probably go to childcare, and I'd be working and still have to clean house. Blech. At least then J would have to pitch in.

Right now I'm a dissertation widow. It's very lonely. You know, last semester, when I was the one supposedly working full-time in school, I still somehow managed to take off 50% of every day to spend with Maggie. I didn't really help around the house, it's true, but I watched the baby so that he could do that. And right now, just someone to play with her so I could clean would be huge.

How is it that women instinctively feel this obligation to be everything, and men actually don't seem to feel any guilt at all about devoting themselves just to their work (or their project or whatever it is that they are engrossed in at the moment)? I bet it has something to do with multi-tasking ability, which supposedly men don't have. If it doesn't occur to you to do two things at once - or even be aware of something outside your current project - then how could you feel guilty for not keeping your mind on multiple tasks?

Speaking of, I need to go get my crying baby. I had a whole great speech about my vocation - how I still want and feel called to ministry, blah blah - but my primary vocation is calling. Toodles.