How our families change us

It's so weird how just a few hours here have turned me back into a person I left long ago. We fall into these old patterns so regularly and easily. And they are survival mechanisms but they are also annoying, particularly if you feel like you've grown a lot since leaving.

I brought my family two of my favorite movies from last year to watch, "Saved!" and "Sideways". But my brother turned everyone off of them. Because Saved "ruthlessly mocks Christianity" and Sideways has a naked man in it (someone heard). Also it is all sex. That's right, bro. It's two hours of non-stop doin' it. It's actually a porno that somehow slipped an "R" rating which fooled critics and audiences into liking it and getting it all those silly Oscar noms. Of course that means nothing because "Kinsey" was also nominated.

Here's the funny thing - does anyone else in the world care about looking at a naked human being, or is it just them? Because sometimes I feel like it's so stupid to care about that. You go to the art museum and you don't disparage the nudity there. Everyone present is married so they've all seen naked men. What's the big deal?

But it would ruin it for me if I couldn't laugh at my favorite parts because I was nervous about how my family felt about the film. This has ruined many a movie for me over the years. They huff at nudity and talk about sex being "naughty" and make verbal tut-tutting over language (as per usual, violence bothers them not a bit). It makes it extremely difficult to enjoy anything that's been made for adults with them.

Not that I need to watch trash - but sometimes you do need to see the bad side of people for the film to get its point across. The sex and even language in Sideways isn't remotely glorified. It's obviously wrong. And the film presents it as such. And it's like real life.

But no, they'd rather watch "The Pacifier" with Vin Diesel. Because that's absolutely nothing like real life. And god help us if we have to burst the Christian bubble.

I complain a lot but of course I love them. In fact, the worst part is that I feel bad because they make me feel like I'm a bad person. I don't like them thinking badly of me and I'm afraid they do because of what I choose to watch. What I enjoy. I feel lower, and then my ego kicks in and I feel higher, and neither is right.

I'm writing so much more than I'd planned on vacation. I guess there's a lot to say around the fam. My dad apologized by the way, although I have a pretty strong feeling that he was told to do so.

*sigh* Keep writing me. I need support!