The Prescient Onion

Oh, remember those giddy days back in 2001, when those of us who voted for Gore weren't all that upset that he lost, since at the time he was something of an embarrassment anyway (who knew the Nobel was coming?), and we settled in for what most of us thought would be a pretty benign presidency from a pretty harmless individual? Well at the time, the Onion had their psychics working overtime, and they came up with this article right after the inauguration of W. Bush. Their prophetic giftings are authentic, based on the Hebrew Bible criterion of true prophet=prophecy that comes true. Therefore, I recommend we all abandon whatever religion we think has the answers, and pursue the Church of the Onion.

Or maybe they just paid more attention to who this guy was than most of us did before we voted. Still, nobody has an excuse for 2004.

Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'

WASHINGTON, DC-Mere days from his inauguration, president-elect Bush vowed to undo the damage not done by the Clinton Administration.