Tomato Genetically Modified To Be More Expensive
May 17, 2008 Issue 44•20 <http://www.theonion.com/content/index/4420>
PASADENA, CA—Geneticists at the California Institute of Technologyannounced Monday that they have developed a tomato with a 31 percentlarger price tag than a typical specimen of the vine-ripened fruit. "Byutilizing an exciting new breakthrough in gene-splicing technology,we've been able to manipulate this new tomato with recombinant DNA insuch a manner as to make it nearly as pricey as a similarly sizedtangelo," said Dr. Lee Nolan, who headed up the project. "Geneticallymodified crops such as this will be instrumental in helping averagegrocers keep pace with unaffordable organic stores such as Whole Foods."In addition to vastly surpassing similar produce in expense, the newtomato will reportedly wipe out four species of ladybugs.ha ha
I'm sick. If you want mental stimulation, go read John's blog. He's done two of my favorite ideas of his in the last two posts: the Matrix as political philosophy (not epistomology - it's about Marxism not Cartesian/Platonic dualism) and the homoeroticism of Fight Club. Yeah! Fun!