J received this invitation to a party for his department, and I simply had to share it on here. I'm sure those who wrote it wouldn't mind others borrowing their clever language. It's a kick!
Philosophy Party !!!
Don't miss out on the fascinating discussions that will take place at the welcome party for our new grad students:
Are you a Phil of Language type (or token)?: then you'll surely want to attend
"'Fun Philosophy Party': Oxymoron or Natural Kind?" Alternatively, you may want to participate in: "Does 'Fun' Rigidly Designate 'Philosophy Party'?
Attracted to Kantian morality? Face the challenge of yielding to the charm of acting from inclination and against duty!! (Alternatively, you can choose the self-deception version: "Coming to This Party is a Duty to Yourself"). Consequentialism? We promise a heated discussion on whether "utility" should be cashed out in terms of pleasure, and, if so, whether Mill's distinction between higher and lower pleasures makes sense: would drinking and doing philosophy at the same time prove Mill's distinction flawed? (Practical demonstrations included). Virtue Ethics? Then we don't need to tell you anything: you know this is the right time and the right place to indulge in guilty pleasures in the right way... and still be virtuous!
Anybody into the Frankfurt School? Read the exclusive Adorno manuscripts where he confesses that UCR's Philosophy Parties inspired him to develop the notion of an emancipatory "promise of happiness" Where? At the Philosophy Party, locus of undistorted communicative action !!!
What should you bring? We strongly recommend that you bring some sort of alcoholic beverage (Plato's comments on drinking, anyone?).
Disclaimer: If you miss the party without an appropriate excuse you will be the target of unpleasant reactive attitudes and retributive feelings. (Sanctions to be discussed at the party). And remember that this is for the most part a compatibilist Department, so saying you couldn't avoid doing x (where x is whatever it was that prevented you from coming to the party) won't get you off the hook!
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