Here are some fine examples of work by a few of my favorite writers:
http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/features/2004/0410.2sullivan.html
(Amy Sullivan)
http://www.therevealer.org/archives/main_story_001080.php
http://www.therevealer.org/archives/timely_001031.php
(Jeff Sharlet)
http://www.therevealer.org/archives/timely_001072.php
(Diane Winston)
http://www.therevealer.org/archives/timeless_000552.php
(Rod Dreher)
http://www.therevealer.org/archives/feature_000039.php
(Chris Lehmann)
You are probably noticing the repetition of stuff from the revealer...well, it's a good clearinghouse for religious news. The other best blog for keeping up with news involving religion (which is most news these days) is Christianity Today. Seriously. Just ignore the editorial blather and skip straight to the sometimes-overwhelming collection of stories from around the world: http://www.christianitytoday.com/ctmag/features/weblog
http://www.prospect.org/web/page.ww?section=root&name=ViewWeb&articleId=8790
(Ayelish McGarvey - this is actually the first thing I read by her but it's darned impressive)
Here's one more tidbit that I recently found on the Revealer:
25 October 2004: 380 tons of explosives -- one pound of which is enough to destroy a 747 -- have gone "missing" from a known bomb-making factory left unguarded by U.S. forces. Department of Defense explains that bad guys "stored weapons in mosques, schools, hospitals and countless other locations." Right. Such as bomb-making factories. NYT and "60 Minutes" will get kudos for this important scoop, but we're just as pissed at the press as we are at our secretary of "defense," whose title must be from now on written at all times with "irony quotes." Maybe it's because we just watched the second season of "24," which includes both a terrorist nuclear bomb and a mosque-stomping scene, but we're thinking: Couldn't someone have interrupted the very important mosque-and-school searches to say, "Hey -- who's keeping an eye on the bomb-making factory?"
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Monday, October 25, 2004
What to think about when voting
I want to add one thought to the political frenzy. The majority of my thoughts have already been represented in one way or another by someone more eloquent or experienced than I. But one thing has become increasingly clear to me and I don't see it in the religious or secular press.
The term "conservative Christian" is an oxymoron. One cannot hold to conservatism and still be a Christian. Conservatives accept the status quo and resist change - that is what it means to be conservative. Christians are called to the opposite: we are called to change the world, to transform it, by God's grace and power.
Notice it is not by our own power. It is not by our getting our commentaries published or our leaders elected or ourselves into the government.
Our job is to effect change by loving. Our neighbor, our enemy, those who persecute us. Our call from our fearless leader is to live fearlessly in the Kingdom of Heaven - which is at hand, here already.
If Christians were supposed to be conservative then the world would be utterly different than it is. Christianity would not have survived the Roman Empire, for one thing. But being strictly American, we would still have slavery had Christians not been progressive. Women may still be second-class citizens and minorities almost certainly would be.
Should we not consider leading the charge for our generation's oppressed - namely, the GLBT community?
And should we not call for an end to war and a commitment to radical peacemaking in the world, including feeding the hungry, caring for the sick, providing shelter and water and clothing?
And should we not give to our church and our community and our neighbor freely and without remorse, realizing that any earthly treasure we have will only rot? I mean, really, how can a Christian rightly give a rip about how much they pay in taxes?!
This is not idealism. This is what the Church is supposed to be. If these are not in your mind when you vote, you are not a Christian. If you are conservative, you are not following Jesus' example.
Jesus came to transform the world and calls his followers to do the same. Never accept the world's status quo. Never resist change. Never believe for a millisecond that a terrorist or an activist judge or a liberal politician can somehow overpower God's will for the world.
God has already won his battle, we are already on the winning side. So quit hemming and hawing over temporal things and start loving your neighbor as yourself. And love God first and most of all.
Do not vote in fear. Do not vote for someone who will "protect" you. Your heavenly father will protect you. Do not vote for someone who will shelter your wealth. Man does not live by bread alone. Do not vote for someone because they will further the conservative, status quo, slow-to-change causes. God is not about our status quo. God is not about the world never changing. God Godself is consistent but we can never suppose that our beliefs are equally inerrant.
Vote as if God were really in charge, not the President. And see whose name you check.
The term "conservative Christian" is an oxymoron. One cannot hold to conservatism and still be a Christian. Conservatives accept the status quo and resist change - that is what it means to be conservative. Christians are called to the opposite: we are called to change the world, to transform it, by God's grace and power.
Notice it is not by our own power. It is not by our getting our commentaries published or our leaders elected or ourselves into the government.
Our job is to effect change by loving. Our neighbor, our enemy, those who persecute us. Our call from our fearless leader is to live fearlessly in the Kingdom of Heaven - which is at hand, here already.
If Christians were supposed to be conservative then the world would be utterly different than it is. Christianity would not have survived the Roman Empire, for one thing. But being strictly American, we would still have slavery had Christians not been progressive. Women may still be second-class citizens and minorities almost certainly would be.
Should we not consider leading the charge for our generation's oppressed - namely, the GLBT community?
And should we not call for an end to war and a commitment to radical peacemaking in the world, including feeding the hungry, caring for the sick, providing shelter and water and clothing?
And should we not give to our church and our community and our neighbor freely and without remorse, realizing that any earthly treasure we have will only rot? I mean, really, how can a Christian rightly give a rip about how much they pay in taxes?!
This is not idealism. This is what the Church is supposed to be. If these are not in your mind when you vote, you are not a Christian. If you are conservative, you are not following Jesus' example.
Jesus came to transform the world and calls his followers to do the same. Never accept the world's status quo. Never resist change. Never believe for a millisecond that a terrorist or an activist judge or a liberal politician can somehow overpower God's will for the world.
God has already won his battle, we are already on the winning side. So quit hemming and hawing over temporal things and start loving your neighbor as yourself. And love God first and most of all.
Do not vote in fear. Do not vote for someone who will "protect" you. Your heavenly father will protect you. Do not vote for someone who will shelter your wealth. Man does not live by bread alone. Do not vote for someone because they will further the conservative, status quo, slow-to-change causes. God is not about our status quo. God is not about the world never changing. God Godself is consistent but we can never suppose that our beliefs are equally inerrant.
Vote as if God were really in charge, not the President. And see whose name you check.
Thursday, October 21, 2004
Prozac Nation
Yesterday was a really weird day. Because it was raining (akin to a blizzard or hurricane in LA), our power had gone out in the night, and the backup generator outside our window was so loud that I couldn't hear the alarm. My husband poked me and said, "It's 7:00, you better get up". This to the person who usually leaves at 7:15 am. And what was he doing there? Oh, it was raining, so he decided not to go to school. Nice.
Anyway I got myself out the door and up to school and of course was one of the first people there. Even our prof was 20 minutes late (but being good grad schoolers, we didn't leave). He announced that it was the Seminary's "Day of Prayer" and thus we'd only have class until 10 a.m. Awesome.
On our quiz there was a really poorly worded question. I questioned him on it and he stood firm in there being only one interpretation. I was so pissed. My new friends were a little shocked at how pissed I was. I was a little shocked. I don't usually let that kind of thing get to me.
I went home to crawl back into bed with hubby, but of course there was a huge accident on the road and it took forever. I got home in a foul mood with a piercing headache, wrote an angry email to my prof, did a little homework, and watched some more of "Angels in America". Then I had to drive back up to school for small group discussion time.
During our session I was just testy and annoyed with everyone. We weren't staying on topic and we weren't respecting the time restraints, so as usual, we skipped half the session. People were being really preachy. Preaching to the preachers, not even the choir.
I left the group and got a call from my mother, who said something that upset me, and I proceeded to go slightly insane. I cried and shouted and swore. Then I got back on the freeway and wouldn't you know at the exact same spot the traffic stopped dead. Then I swore a lot. And cried and screamed. And my head was pounding and I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I mean, PMS is at least a week away.
Getting off the freeway and onto surface streets, I started thinking about the little white pills I take every morning and night. They are Paxil, for my depression. And I had taken a 1/2 dose the night before (because I am always telling myself I want to work off the pills), but then I'd forgotten to take any that morning.
Ah-hah!! This explained everything. The headache is the first effect of the meds running out of my system. The attitude followed by insanity is next. I was so relieved. I had simply forgotten to take the medicine which keeps me normal.
And I knew I needed to write about it. Because it is SO important. At least I know that I have this disease and I need to take my medicine. But so many people, especially women, are just assumed to be emotional or hysterical or bad-tempered when in reality they are just depressed.
When I was diagnosed just over a year ago, it was a huge revelation. It explained so much about me. I learned that at any given time, 1 in 10 people have it; the number drops to 1 in 5 when you're only talking about women. We're talking common cold here, people. It's nothing to be ashamed about - it's a medical condition. Something in the body is not working properly, like if you had the flu, and like that situation you take your meds and it goes away. Or rather, it gets under control. It never completely goes away, which is the struggle.
It is genetic and not. It is related to life situations and not. It is chemical and not. It is a strange thing to live with. And not the kind of thing you can do much about getting over. It is a problem that requires medication sometimes, but mostly it requires you to take better care of yourself. Which is extremely hard to do with 2 jobs and full-time school.
Please, if your emotions are running wild, or if you don't want to get up in the morning, or if you are not yourself and you know it, see a doctor - a psychiatrist, not a general practitioner. They can tell you if you have this way-too-common condition and they can make it better.
The depression has been, in my life, not a "test of faith" or evidence that I've sinned or something stupid like that. It was, in fact, a gift from God. Without the depression last year I never would have realized that I was unhappy with my outwardly perfect life - unhappy in the sense of being unfulfilled. And that was what made me apply to seminary, which changed the course of my whole life, for the way better.
Depression is a curse and a blessing and I believe it has afflicted many a saint and prophet. It is a reaction of the body to being in a world that is not home. It is a physical manifestation of our longing for wholeness. It is more evidence of our need for God.
And it is just a medical thing that medicine fixes. Thank God for Paxil, and Prozac, and all the other wonderful drugs that he has helped humankind come up with. Thank you for the salvation from the darkness. For saving me from the pit. For turning my mourning into dancing. Weeping may last for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
Or after taking your meds.
Anyway I got myself out the door and up to school and of course was one of the first people there. Even our prof was 20 minutes late (but being good grad schoolers, we didn't leave). He announced that it was the Seminary's "Day of Prayer" and thus we'd only have class until 10 a.m. Awesome.
On our quiz there was a really poorly worded question. I questioned him on it and he stood firm in there being only one interpretation. I was so pissed. My new friends were a little shocked at how pissed I was. I was a little shocked. I don't usually let that kind of thing get to me.
I went home to crawl back into bed with hubby, but of course there was a huge accident on the road and it took forever. I got home in a foul mood with a piercing headache, wrote an angry email to my prof, did a little homework, and watched some more of "Angels in America". Then I had to drive back up to school for small group discussion time.
During our session I was just testy and annoyed with everyone. We weren't staying on topic and we weren't respecting the time restraints, so as usual, we skipped half the session. People were being really preachy. Preaching to the preachers, not even the choir.
I left the group and got a call from my mother, who said something that upset me, and I proceeded to go slightly insane. I cried and shouted and swore. Then I got back on the freeway and wouldn't you know at the exact same spot the traffic stopped dead. Then I swore a lot. And cried and screamed. And my head was pounding and I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I mean, PMS is at least a week away.
Getting off the freeway and onto surface streets, I started thinking about the little white pills I take every morning and night. They are Paxil, for my depression. And I had taken a 1/2 dose the night before (because I am always telling myself I want to work off the pills), but then I'd forgotten to take any that morning.
Ah-hah!! This explained everything. The headache is the first effect of the meds running out of my system. The attitude followed by insanity is next. I was so relieved. I had simply forgotten to take the medicine which keeps me normal.
And I knew I needed to write about it. Because it is SO important. At least I know that I have this disease and I need to take my medicine. But so many people, especially women, are just assumed to be emotional or hysterical or bad-tempered when in reality they are just depressed.
When I was diagnosed just over a year ago, it was a huge revelation. It explained so much about me. I learned that at any given time, 1 in 10 people have it; the number drops to 1 in 5 when you're only talking about women. We're talking common cold here, people. It's nothing to be ashamed about - it's a medical condition. Something in the body is not working properly, like if you had the flu, and like that situation you take your meds and it goes away. Or rather, it gets under control. It never completely goes away, which is the struggle.
It is genetic and not. It is related to life situations and not. It is chemical and not. It is a strange thing to live with. And not the kind of thing you can do much about getting over. It is a problem that requires medication sometimes, but mostly it requires you to take better care of yourself. Which is extremely hard to do with 2 jobs and full-time school.
Please, if your emotions are running wild, or if you don't want to get up in the morning, or if you are not yourself and you know it, see a doctor - a psychiatrist, not a general practitioner. They can tell you if you have this way-too-common condition and they can make it better.
The depression has been, in my life, not a "test of faith" or evidence that I've sinned or something stupid like that. It was, in fact, a gift from God. Without the depression last year I never would have realized that I was unhappy with my outwardly perfect life - unhappy in the sense of being unfulfilled. And that was what made me apply to seminary, which changed the course of my whole life, for the way better.
Depression is a curse and a blessing and I believe it has afflicted many a saint and prophet. It is a reaction of the body to being in a world that is not home. It is a physical manifestation of our longing for wholeness. It is more evidence of our need for God.
And it is just a medical thing that medicine fixes. Thank God for Paxil, and Prozac, and all the other wonderful drugs that he has helped humankind come up with. Thank you for the salvation from the darkness. For saving me from the pit. For turning my mourning into dancing. Weeping may last for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
Or after taking your meds.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Things to be checked out by you, the faithful Feminarian
My church is on the verge of splitting, or so the mainstream press would have us believe. In truth, the commission handed down a really quite fair and appropriate recommendation to the Anglican Communion. Even as a supporter of the move to make Robinson a bishop, I feel that their beef with us is justified. America needs to watch its unilateral tendencies. Anyway, it's interesting how the press is reporting this document different ways. Conservative people seem to think that they got the short end of the stick, whereas mainstream press seems to think it was the liberals who were taken to task. I suppose that means it's probably well-balanced, like a fine wine or my seminary.
If you haven't read Ron Suskind's article on Bush's Faith-based presidency yet (NYT magazine) go there right now and read it, you bad person.
Speaking of, an interesting dude has come to my attention, who has written a book about the whole Bush religious rhetoric phenomenon. His name is David Domke and his website is http://www.com.washington.edu/god_willing/
Turns out he is speaking in LA on Monday (25) at the University of Southern California. Seeing as how he asked me to, I have now officially plugged him. I look forward to meeting you there David...but you won't know who I am. Mwah ha ha ha!!
What else do I recommend right now? Watched some good stuff lately. Here's a random list:
Iron Jawed Angels (the HBO movie - annoying filmmaking but great story)
Mean Girls (yes I am serious)
Angels in America (notice the HBO theme)
Lost (the TV show)
That's all for now folks. Please for the love of God I hope you are planning to vote. You only are excused if you are not a citizen of this country (and even then you should be working on becoming one). Anyway, vote your hopes, not your fears, as a good bumper sticker tells us. And remember that God is not a republican (or a democrat) as my own car's butt will tell you.
OK, laundry beckons. The Feminarian's work is never done.
If you haven't read Ron Suskind's article on Bush's Faith-based presidency yet (NYT magazine) go there right now and read it, you bad person.
Speaking of, an interesting dude has come to my attention, who has written a book about the whole Bush religious rhetoric phenomenon. His name is David Domke and his website is http://www.com.washington.edu/god_willing/
Turns out he is speaking in LA on Monday (25) at the University of Southern California. Seeing as how he asked me to, I have now officially plugged him. I look forward to meeting you there David...but you won't know who I am. Mwah ha ha ha!!
What else do I recommend right now? Watched some good stuff lately. Here's a random list:
Iron Jawed Angels (the HBO movie - annoying filmmaking but great story)
Mean Girls (yes I am serious)
Angels in America (notice the HBO theme)
Lost (the TV show)
That's all for now folks. Please for the love of God I hope you are planning to vote. You only are excused if you are not a citizen of this country (and even then you should be working on becoming one). Anyway, vote your hopes, not your fears, as a good bumper sticker tells us. And remember that God is not a republican (or a democrat) as my own car's butt will tell you.
OK, laundry beckons. The Feminarian's work is never done.
It's a complicated case, Maude, lotta ins, lotta outs
Hello, I haven't written in a while. Things have been busy. New shit's come to light, man. Here's a spot of news: my dad flunked out of seminary! Talk about your trippy discoveries. Yes, Hebrew did him in at (famous) Texas seminary and he had to finish his degree at (less famous) Texas seminary. Um...oops.
Geez, I'm such a bad girl, I totally want to lord it over him. IF I don't flunk Hebrew too.
Anyway I rocked my mid-term so thank you for the prayers, good wishes, donations to Ganesha, whatever. I don't think it was very hard but please don't tell my professor. Besides, verbage is currently kicking my ass.
Note how I say currently kicking. Because I just finished my workbook exercises and summarily forgot to use the "continuous aspect" in all my translations. That means I said "I say" instead of "I am saying". But the latter just sounds weird! Ah, such are the travails of one learning Greek from William Mounce (his text, not him personally - although he seems like a quirky guy - on the cdrom that came with my book he actually sings little songs to help remember the vocab).
So these are the new shits that are currently basking in my light. I will now make a new post of some cool things that you should check out.
Peace love harmony and veggies.
Geez, I'm such a bad girl, I totally want to lord it over him. IF I don't flunk Hebrew too.
Anyway I rocked my mid-term so thank you for the prayers, good wishes, donations to Ganesha, whatever. I don't think it was very hard but please don't tell my professor. Besides, verbage is currently kicking my ass.
Note how I say currently kicking. Because I just finished my workbook exercises and summarily forgot to use the "continuous aspect" in all my translations. That means I said "I say" instead of "I am saying". But the latter just sounds weird! Ah, such are the travails of one learning Greek from William Mounce (his text, not him personally - although he seems like a quirky guy - on the cdrom that came with my book he actually sings little songs to help remember the vocab).
So these are the new shits that are currently basking in my light. I will now make a new post of some cool things that you should check out.
Peace love harmony and veggies.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Thank you!!
I just looked at my own blog (something I don't know if I'm supposed to be doing more often) and noticed that I'm getting comments. Really NICE comments from feminarians across the country! WOW. That is just awesome. I am humbled and blessed by your comments. Please keep writing to me. The encouragement helps so much.
And those of you who pray, I have a mid-term on Monday *sound of nails being bitten*!
Peace, blessings, and love,
The Baby Feminist Seminarian
And those of you who pray, I have a mid-term on Monday *sound of nails being bitten*!
Peace, blessings, and love,
The Baby Feminist Seminarian
Give it up for the guys
I have to say I've been remiss in not mentioning the men I'm coming into contact with here at school. For the most part, they are really great guys. They laugh good-naturedly about the school's requirement that we always translate and write in gender-inclusive language, but they take it seriously. They listen and I haven't yet felt like they disrespect my opinions.
Of course, I haven't yet gotten into a theology class, where women have traditionally been viewed as incapable or at least unworthy of leadership. In Greek, they have to listen to me, because I'm kicking all their butts in learning the language. So's my friend Jo, the cool girl from New York who came into the class after it had begun but is totally keeping up with the current.
It's going back to the comment I made about how female seminarians tend to be really smart women. They have to be! And not just because there is an unspoken fear about women not being good enough to be church leaders; I also believe we have a strong desire to best the boys.
Maybe it comes from being part of a generation that grew up watching women fight big battles for freedom and leadership. Just in my life I've gone from a church that wouldn't let a woman be an usher to now being at one where a woman is essentially CEO. And so we have learned from our spiritual mothers that we are not just required to be as good as the men, but better than.
But I think it's also that the Lion has roared within us (to paraphrase a title of a favorite book about mysticism). It's the uniquely female contribution to theology, which involves harder work, greater ambition, more sensitivity, more tolerance. And a deeper sense of God within. A literally physical sensation of God within. God entered the world through a woman in the first place, and somehow perhaps we are linked to Mary as conduits of his presence in the world.
In the end, perhaps, it's not that we want or need to be better (although men need to recognize us so we can contribute). Perhaps it is that we are just different. We have something new to bring to theology. We are finely attuned to God's mother nature; we are aware of our own nature as child-bearers and by extension God-bearers to the earth.
At any rate, thanks be to God for male feminarians!
Of course, I haven't yet gotten into a theology class, where women have traditionally been viewed as incapable or at least unworthy of leadership. In Greek, they have to listen to me, because I'm kicking all their butts in learning the language. So's my friend Jo, the cool girl from New York who came into the class after it had begun but is totally keeping up with the current.
It's going back to the comment I made about how female seminarians tend to be really smart women. They have to be! And not just because there is an unspoken fear about women not being good enough to be church leaders; I also believe we have a strong desire to best the boys.
Maybe it comes from being part of a generation that grew up watching women fight big battles for freedom and leadership. Just in my life I've gone from a church that wouldn't let a woman be an usher to now being at one where a woman is essentially CEO. And so we have learned from our spiritual mothers that we are not just required to be as good as the men, but better than.
But I think it's also that the Lion has roared within us (to paraphrase a title of a favorite book about mysticism). It's the uniquely female contribution to theology, which involves harder work, greater ambition, more sensitivity, more tolerance. And a deeper sense of God within. A literally physical sensation of God within. God entered the world through a woman in the first place, and somehow perhaps we are linked to Mary as conduits of his presence in the world.
In the end, perhaps, it's not that we want or need to be better (although men need to recognize us so we can contribute). Perhaps it is that we are just different. We have something new to bring to theology. We are finely attuned to God's mother nature; we are aware of our own nature as child-bearers and by extension God-bearers to the earth.
At any rate, thanks be to God for male feminarians!
Thursday, October 07, 2004
I Art Loosed!
The Feminarian is delighted to get props from one of her favorite blogs, The Revealer.
Read The Revealer. Sign up for their daily email. And I don't just say this because they say nice things about me....it's a serious and important voice calling for better religion coverage in the press.
http://www.therevealer.org/archives/timeless_000980.php
Read The Revealer. Sign up for their daily email. And I don't just say this because they say nice things about me....it's a serious and important voice calling for better religion coverage in the press.
http://www.therevealer.org/archives/timeless_000980.php
Feminarians Unite!
I'm just so Norma Rae lately.
Had a GREAT small group yesterday. Wow. I don't usually like it when people attribute coincidences in their lives to God's hand (I mean, does the Almighty Eternal one really care enough to make these things happen?), but I have to admit that the synchronicity of the group is amazing. We have three former film industry people and two psych people (which isn't too far off from the skills used in filmmaking and criticism). We have a great diversity of belief. I totally freaked them out by talking about the "yoga ministry" at my church. That was pretty funny.
There is an awesome Sister in the group. I call her that because she is just one of those amazing African-American women who is full of God's spirit. She comes from a family that is almost entirely pastors and missionaries (including her sister and mother). We got to talking about the Spirit running in families. Did I ever mention that my cousin, who really has no religious identity, has somehow always felt a "call" to be a pastor? Ah, the force runs strongly in our family.
Anyway, she and I had a long talk about war and peace, the church and society, women's roles, and more. Wow! How totally lucky am I that I get to spend my days discussing these things. Seminary is really worth the money, just to get to have this opportunity.
There is something happening among the women of the Church. Every one that I have met at Fuller is strong, opinionated, brilliant, studious, and very much called. And we are fortunate to not be fighting the fight to just be heard (our sisters 30 or so years ago did that), but to lead.
What can the female worldview bring to the church? What are the maternal instincts that the patriarchy has been missing out on for 2000 years? How do we get back to respecting women like Jesus did: who kept company with women like Mary and Martha, who marched up and demanded to know why he let their brother die when women weren't even supposed to talk to men in public! Jesus liked fiesty women. The Samaratan cynic at the well. The woman of ill repute who broke the perfume jar over his feet in the middle of a dinner party. The women who were the only ones (save John) who had the stomach to watch him die. The first people who saw his empty tomb.
Probably a lot of this respect was learned from his mother, who in her magnificat called for a world of peace and justice that is radically different from what we know now.
Women have so much to offer the church. I only pray the church is ready. Because even if they are not, God's doing something with us. He's never been one to wait for "global approval".
Had a GREAT small group yesterday. Wow. I don't usually like it when people attribute coincidences in their lives to God's hand (I mean, does the Almighty Eternal one really care enough to make these things happen?), but I have to admit that the synchronicity of the group is amazing. We have three former film industry people and two psych people (which isn't too far off from the skills used in filmmaking and criticism). We have a great diversity of belief. I totally freaked them out by talking about the "yoga ministry" at my church. That was pretty funny.
There is an awesome Sister in the group. I call her that because she is just one of those amazing African-American women who is full of God's spirit. She comes from a family that is almost entirely pastors and missionaries (including her sister and mother). We got to talking about the Spirit running in families. Did I ever mention that my cousin, who really has no religious identity, has somehow always felt a "call" to be a pastor? Ah, the force runs strongly in our family.
Anyway, she and I had a long talk about war and peace, the church and society, women's roles, and more. Wow! How totally lucky am I that I get to spend my days discussing these things. Seminary is really worth the money, just to get to have this opportunity.
There is something happening among the women of the Church. Every one that I have met at Fuller is strong, opinionated, brilliant, studious, and very much called. And we are fortunate to not be fighting the fight to just be heard (our sisters 30 or so years ago did that), but to lead.
What can the female worldview bring to the church? What are the maternal instincts that the patriarchy has been missing out on for 2000 years? How do we get back to respecting women like Jesus did: who kept company with women like Mary and Martha, who marched up and demanded to know why he let their brother die when women weren't even supposed to talk to men in public! Jesus liked fiesty women. The Samaratan cynic at the well. The woman of ill repute who broke the perfume jar over his feet in the middle of a dinner party. The women who were the only ones (save John) who had the stomach to watch him die. The first people who saw his empty tomb.
Probably a lot of this respect was learned from his mother, who in her magnificat called for a world of peace and justice that is radically different from what we know now.
Women have so much to offer the church. I only pray the church is ready. Because even if they are not, God's doing something with us. He's never been one to wait for "global approval".
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Give 'em hell!
I got on my teacher's case today because he always lectures to us straight from the book. We hit a section of three complicated things, and he told us to read it on our own and figure it out when the need arose. I can see how he wouldn't want to confuse people who are lost further. But I read the book beforehand, like we're supposed to, and in class I wanted my questions answered, not the book just read to me over again. And if you must read the book to us, at LEAST read through and explain the hard stuff!
I don't mind him going over the chapters - it actually helps to cement what I've read. But it does get tedious. And when I think about $3000 tuition plus a couple hundred on books (one of which was $100 by itself) versus taking the bookwriter's online class which is probably not as much, I wonder why I'm doing it here. I mean, I can and do read the book to myself. I want class time to be time for deeper explanation and going over things that aren't clear just from the reading.
After our break, he actually said I was right in front of everyone and answered my question. Score one for me! I really sympathize with his plight - there are probably people in the class at all different levels and it's hard to figure out the balance of what group to teach to. But at the same time, I want to get my money's worth from the class. So I pushed a little. Maybe that makes me a nag, but I prefer to think of myself as a responsible consumer.
I don't mind him going over the chapters - it actually helps to cement what I've read. But it does get tedious. And when I think about $3000 tuition plus a couple hundred on books (one of which was $100 by itself) versus taking the bookwriter's online class which is probably not as much, I wonder why I'm doing it here. I mean, I can and do read the book to myself. I want class time to be time for deeper explanation and going over things that aren't clear just from the reading.
After our break, he actually said I was right in front of everyone and answered my question. Score one for me! I really sympathize with his plight - there are probably people in the class at all different levels and it's hard to figure out the balance of what group to teach to. But at the same time, I want to get my money's worth from the class. So I pushed a little. Maybe that makes me a nag, but I prefer to think of myself as a responsible consumer.
Friday, October 01, 2004
Did I mention that I've already had the Gay Talk with someone? I thought it went pretty well but my husband said I was weak. Well I wasn't trying to argue to win, my main purpose is usually just to get people to even consider the possibility that there may be christian people out there who are gay, and people who are not but who support them in their faith AND orientation. The one bummer is that I let them bringup the argument that gay people are like disabled people: that is, they are "not perfect" just like a handicapped person. Not God's original blueprint, but that doesn't mean theyare necessarily sinning. They arejust doing the best they can with what they've got in this fallen world. This argument is only slightly less offensive than "it's part of the sin nature that we all struggle with". No, it may be worse. Basically it is saying that gay people are made wrong. That it's like something that is wrong with you. And justice will never come until people start accepting that nothing is wrong, nothing falls short of the good, it's just different. And I am ashamed I didn't think to say that just then. Although I could not have convinced him. That last bit takes a loooong time to accept and a lot of good evidence, mostly in the form of personally knowing good christian gay people.
On a happy note, I met another strong democrat in Greek today. Also a libertarian. This guy takes offense that the government asks people to wear seatbelts. Yikes.
On a happy note, I met another strong democrat in Greek today. Also a libertarian. This guy takes offense that the government asks people to wear seatbelts. Yikes.
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
I'm having an Arts Concern
So today I attended my first chapel (non-Catholic). And we're closing up the event with a rousing old Fanny Crosby hymn. Everyone is singing along enthusiastically until we get to the chorus the second time. Then suddenly the woman singing turns into a reasonable fascimile of a gospel singer, taking the melody all over the place in rhythm and pitch, basically denying anyone in the congregation the ability to follow her lead. So eventually everyone dropped out, and she did a solo for the rest of the piece. We simply couldn't compete.
What was that? Did I accidentally wander into Season 2 of American Idol? Why the sudden diva-vication of what was supposed to be worship time? How in the world can anyone think about God when there's a person howling like a cat in heat - on a mic?
The sad thing is that she really wasn't bad. And maybe in her heart of hearts she intended to create a worshipful space for those present. But it just drew ALL the attention in the room to her. All thought of God was pretty much driven away from our minds. Some appreciated her vocal gymnastics and others just looked around, confused.
This, dear readers, is bad worship. This is what causes people to be bored with church. There is no flow. It doesn't have to be "out there" - it doesn't have to be explained or justified. But it does have to be there. Somebody has to PLAN. Somebody has to think about what is appropriate, what is uplifting, what goes with what else in the service.
Why do we spend hours in classes learning to preach, learning to exegete the Bible and come up with cute applications to everyday life, and yet there is no required course at this school on liturgy? (I use the term loosely; not that everyone has to do high-church style, but every church does have a liturgy or ritual whether they know it or not, and if they don't, they really need to get one)
How can one be a shepherd of a flock, a leader of spiritual seekers, the mapholder on the journey, if one cannot bring out the most basic inborn relationship of one's congregant's to God - that is, their natural capacity to worship? I take that back: we are great at encouraging that attribute, but it is rarely directed to the correct person.
Because if you're singing and you're thinking how to "jazz things up", or if you're in a service and find yourself marveling at someone's musical ability, that's it. You've completely lost why you are there and you might as well go home or go to a rock concert.
What was that? Did I accidentally wander into Season 2 of American Idol? Why the sudden diva-vication of what was supposed to be worship time? How in the world can anyone think about God when there's a person howling like a cat in heat - on a mic?
The sad thing is that she really wasn't bad. And maybe in her heart of hearts she intended to create a worshipful space for those present. But it just drew ALL the attention in the room to her. All thought of God was pretty much driven away from our minds. Some appreciated her vocal gymnastics and others just looked around, confused.
This, dear readers, is bad worship. This is what causes people to be bored with church. There is no flow. It doesn't have to be "out there" - it doesn't have to be explained or justified. But it does have to be there. Somebody has to PLAN. Somebody has to think about what is appropriate, what is uplifting, what goes with what else in the service.
Why do we spend hours in classes learning to preach, learning to exegete the Bible and come up with cute applications to everyday life, and yet there is no required course at this school on liturgy? (I use the term loosely; not that everyone has to do high-church style, but every church does have a liturgy or ritual whether they know it or not, and if they don't, they really need to get one)
How can one be a shepherd of a flock, a leader of spiritual seekers, the mapholder on the journey, if one cannot bring out the most basic inborn relationship of one's congregant's to God - that is, their natural capacity to worship? I take that back: we are great at encouraging that attribute, but it is rarely directed to the correct person.
Because if you're singing and you're thinking how to "jazz things up", or if you're in a service and find yourself marveling at someone's musical ability, that's it. You've completely lost why you are there and you might as well go home or go to a rock concert.
Monday, September 27, 2004
First day of school (officially) (classes, I mean)
Okay, I am already getting too busy to keep this up! Whoa. What have I missed? There are a few things of note, and unfortunately I don't have time to go into a lot of detail. Maybe someday when I write a book about this. Anyway here's a snapshot of day 1:
- I met a woman who studies Israeli street fighting. I resisted the urge to ask her if she anticipates running into a lot of Palestinian militants in California. (I am cheating-I met her last week but forgot to write about her)
- I learned there is a "emergent" church in my area called "Tribe". Just take that in for a moment. Tribe. And yes, they do beat drums together.
- There are people driving up to and over two hours to come to my Greek class. That is two hours of driving (leaving at 6 am) followed by four hours of class (with a one-hour chapel break in the middle) followed by another two hours to drive home. They are insane.
- My Greek professor actually expects us to spend 2 hours outside class for every 1 hour in class. My Greek class is 12 hours a week. That's 24 hours of outside studying. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
- Translating Greek is really a thrill. The words are close enough to English words that most things aren't too hard to figure out. Or maybe we're just on the really easy vocabulary.
- There is a dude in my Greek class (note that Greek is my only class) who talks way too much. I am all for questions but this guy does not shut up. He is one of those who asks questions that show off how much he already knows. That is a seriously annoying thing to do. He also looks about 25 and says he has 3 kids with "one on the way". He must take to heart the command to "go forth and multiply". Can I call him a know-it-all sex freak or is that going too far? Probably not appropro for a feminarian. But I can hardly help myself.
- There is a guy in my class from Transylvania. I have an uncle from Transylvania. Who knew?
- During chapel break I took my stuff with me because I didn't know if the room would be locked and god forbid I lose my new pda. And some guy took my seat! He actually moved into my desk! Which was larger than the others and had a comfy chair. I was a bit shocked.
- Speaking of chapel, I visited Roman Catholic chapel. It was so cool. I loved it. And I was very naughty and took communion even though I am not Catholic. The father said it was okay but my husband tells me I still shouldn't have done it. I told him I trust the priest's judgement more than his.
I can't think of much else right now. I am learning greek letters (alpha beta gamma delta epsilon zeta eta theta iota kappa lambda mu nu omicron pi rho sigma tau upsilon phi chi psi omega) (shit that's only 23 - I am missing one). That must become my full-time job now.
I will write you when I can but don't expect a whole lotta lovin until I got some Greek down.
Cheers,
Me (oh yeah: xi!)
- I met a woman who studies Israeli street fighting. I resisted the urge to ask her if she anticipates running into a lot of Palestinian militants in California. (I am cheating-I met her last week but forgot to write about her)
- I learned there is a "emergent" church in my area called "Tribe". Just take that in for a moment. Tribe. And yes, they do beat drums together.
- There are people driving up to and over two hours to come to my Greek class. That is two hours of driving (leaving at 6 am) followed by four hours of class (with a one-hour chapel break in the middle) followed by another two hours to drive home. They are insane.
- My Greek professor actually expects us to spend 2 hours outside class for every 1 hour in class. My Greek class is 12 hours a week. That's 24 hours of outside studying. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
- Translating Greek is really a thrill. The words are close enough to English words that most things aren't too hard to figure out. Or maybe we're just on the really easy vocabulary.
- There is a dude in my Greek class (note that Greek is my only class) who talks way too much. I am all for questions but this guy does not shut up. He is one of those who asks questions that show off how much he already knows. That is a seriously annoying thing to do. He also looks about 25 and says he has 3 kids with "one on the way". He must take to heart the command to "go forth and multiply". Can I call him a know-it-all sex freak or is that going too far? Probably not appropro for a feminarian. But I can hardly help myself.
- There is a guy in my class from Transylvania. I have an uncle from Transylvania. Who knew?
- During chapel break I took my stuff with me because I didn't know if the room would be locked and god forbid I lose my new pda. And some guy took my seat! He actually moved into my desk! Which was larger than the others and had a comfy chair. I was a bit shocked.
- Speaking of chapel, I visited Roman Catholic chapel. It was so cool. I loved it. And I was very naughty and took communion even though I am not Catholic. The father said it was okay but my husband tells me I still shouldn't have done it. I told him I trust the priest's judgement more than his.
I can't think of much else right now. I am learning greek letters (alpha beta gamma delta epsilon zeta eta theta iota kappa lambda mu nu omicron pi rho sigma tau upsilon phi chi psi omega) (shit that's only 23 - I am missing one). That must become my full-time job now.
I will write you when I can but don't expect a whole lotta lovin until I got some Greek down.
Cheers,
Me (oh yeah: xi!)
Friday, September 24, 2004
Now is the right time
I think it might be a good time to be at feminary. The women I am meeting are fired up. They are excited about being leaders. They love to preach and teach. They want to change things. They are not content.
I met a priest from the nearby episcopal church, who offered me spiritual direction. This is a direct answer to prayer. She also asked me to sing for her services, and said I answered a prayer she'd offered asking God for a new student at my school who would be able to participate. Possibly a coincidence. But interesting that we met, and happened to talk about the right things, and happened to offer each other the right part of ourselves that met the other's need.
I visited a great used bookstore and got my Greek-English Lexicon for $25! This is a $100 book. That was a thrill. I also got a shirt with my school's name on it, at the official bookstore that is, on sale. I am a sucker for a bargain.
Speaking of the bookstore, the staff at mine was quite poorly trained. Their "help" only made things more confusing and complicated. Being frightened and feeling out of control, I reverted to a rather demanding - dare I say bitchy? - side of myself. Incompetence drives me up the wall.
But then I visited a Taize service, which is one that offers great periods of silence for reflection. And I realized that in the eternal scheme of things, I probably was pretty petty. I figured out the situation on my own and there was really no need to dwell on the mistakes of others. Then I thought about how they were playing the music too quickly, and how out of place the little tribal drum was in such a service. Ah, my real nature returns. That saintly moment lasted all of 30 seconds. Brought to you by the fine monks of Taize.
Where have I ended up now? I began by celebrating my sisters in seminary and have turned to a self-examination. Such are the thoughts of those who seek God. One minute we are amazed by the world around us, by the creatures and our own marvelousness, by the creator who gave it all. Then the next we realize how utterly unimportant and unworthy we are in the scheme of this, in the eyes of one so magnificent. The life of God work is necessarily contemplative. How incomplete we would be without knowing ourselves! Without knowing our own nature, how could we possibly understand another's, let alone that of the eternal One.
I met a priest from the nearby episcopal church, who offered me spiritual direction. This is a direct answer to prayer. She also asked me to sing for her services, and said I answered a prayer she'd offered asking God for a new student at my school who would be able to participate. Possibly a coincidence. But interesting that we met, and happened to talk about the right things, and happened to offer each other the right part of ourselves that met the other's need.
I visited a great used bookstore and got my Greek-English Lexicon for $25! This is a $100 book. That was a thrill. I also got a shirt with my school's name on it, at the official bookstore that is, on sale. I am a sucker for a bargain.
Speaking of the bookstore, the staff at mine was quite poorly trained. Their "help" only made things more confusing and complicated. Being frightened and feeling out of control, I reverted to a rather demanding - dare I say bitchy? - side of myself. Incompetence drives me up the wall.
But then I visited a Taize service, which is one that offers great periods of silence for reflection. And I realized that in the eternal scheme of things, I probably was pretty petty. I figured out the situation on my own and there was really no need to dwell on the mistakes of others. Then I thought about how they were playing the music too quickly, and how out of place the little tribal drum was in such a service. Ah, my real nature returns. That saintly moment lasted all of 30 seconds. Brought to you by the fine monks of Taize.
Where have I ended up now? I began by celebrating my sisters in seminary and have turned to a self-examination. Such are the thoughts of those who seek God. One minute we are amazed by the world around us, by the creatures and our own marvelousness, by the creator who gave it all. Then the next we realize how utterly unimportant and unworthy we are in the scheme of this, in the eyes of one so magnificent. The life of God work is necessarily contemplative. How incomplete we would be without knowing ourselves! Without knowing our own nature, how could we possibly understand another's, let alone that of the eternal One.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
A petty rant
Yesterday there was a panel discussion with three faculty members as part of the welcome activities. One of the faculty members attends (or attended) a church I used to go to, and I had always thought he was a bit arrogant. He came off a little better during the panel, and I thought it wise to give him another chance.
But one thing he said bothered me, which was that the church needs to stop having petty arguments amongst its members. I get his point, and his example was a silly one (what musical instruments to use) that hopefully would not split a church.
But I wondered: how is one supposed to tell what is a petty argument? What is petty to one woman is, to another, a salvation issue, or a real worship block, or at the least something that makes her uncomfortable while she is trying to find God. I don't think we should discount those feelings.
Like, for instance, my rant about the music used in church. I should clarify a bit: I can deal with the rock-n-roll, even like it; I am more bothered by the lack of care which goes into worship planning. This is well explained in Robert Webber's book Worship is a Verb, so I won't go into it here. Suffice to say that as a person who is particularly interested in liturgy (whether a church calls it that or not), I am distressed by the seemingly random way that much music, and other worship events, are chosen throughout a church service.
So although it seemed to the faculty member that his example of musical instruments was benign, in fact it was something that, when really thought about, can become an issue. Not that I think we should be creating issues in the church. But I also think that the church is the best, safest place for us to debate things--if it is done with respect and openness. It should never be a place where everyone agrees. Unity doesn't mean agreement.
And also it bothers me that he used this example as if everyone in the room agreed upon the "right" way to do things (or agreed that arguing about this topic is silly). From what I have seen of singing opportunities so far at school, there is a particular way of doing things - with the rock band, and the soft-pop style, and the modern rhythms (most annoying on hymns) - that is supposed to be acceptable to all. I haven't heard them even trying to do anything differently yet.
But of course, there are many chapels to come, and many opportunities. I hope to see more diversity in the worship experience - and not just diversity within the boundaries of what is accepted for evangelicals.
But one thing he said bothered me, which was that the church needs to stop having petty arguments amongst its members. I get his point, and his example was a silly one (what musical instruments to use) that hopefully would not split a church.
But I wondered: how is one supposed to tell what is a petty argument? What is petty to one woman is, to another, a salvation issue, or a real worship block, or at the least something that makes her uncomfortable while she is trying to find God. I don't think we should discount those feelings.
Like, for instance, my rant about the music used in church. I should clarify a bit: I can deal with the rock-n-roll, even like it; I am more bothered by the lack of care which goes into worship planning. This is well explained in Robert Webber's book Worship is a Verb, so I won't go into it here. Suffice to say that as a person who is particularly interested in liturgy (whether a church calls it that or not), I am distressed by the seemingly random way that much music, and other worship events, are chosen throughout a church service.
So although it seemed to the faculty member that his example of musical instruments was benign, in fact it was something that, when really thought about, can become an issue. Not that I think we should be creating issues in the church. But I also think that the church is the best, safest place for us to debate things--if it is done with respect and openness. It should never be a place where everyone agrees. Unity doesn't mean agreement.
And also it bothers me that he used this example as if everyone in the room agreed upon the "right" way to do things (or agreed that arguing about this topic is silly). From what I have seen of singing opportunities so far at school, there is a particular way of doing things - with the rock band, and the soft-pop style, and the modern rhythms (most annoying on hymns) - that is supposed to be acceptable to all. I haven't heard them even trying to do anything differently yet.
But of course, there are many chapels to come, and many opportunities. I hope to see more diversity in the worship experience - and not just diversity within the boundaries of what is accepted for evangelicals.
First Day of School
Yesterday was my first day of school; or rather, "Welcome Week", which turned out to be a weeks' worth of activities crammed into one veeery long day.
At breakfast I met a woman who is middle-aged and getting her MDiv because she feels called to being a pastor. She is already a speech therapist, and seems happy with her work. It makes me wonder how many people are still stuck in the false belief that the only way their vocation can honor God is if it is in full-time church work? It seems to me that speech therapy--freeing people's voices--is incredibly important, life-affirming, God-honoring work.
She seemed to really enjoy the next sessions, laughing and singing. She enjoyed them a little too much for my taste. The jokes were not really funny. The music wasn't that great. I'm not trying to be the cynic, but I do believe in being critical of what is set before me. Just because it has the label "Christian" on it does not make it good (just look at our president).
I personally was pretty bored. My music biases will come through loud and clear in this blog so I may as well say right now that I hate "praise" music: that is, church music that is created to sound like soft pop (and is about as deep). My usual pet peeves were being pricked all over: the music didn't seem to fit in properly at the points it was sung in the service, the singers were showing off their voices, the instruments were too loud and not conducive to a worshipful atmosphere. And Etc. So I'm always already a little pissy when I walk into something and there are guitars at the front of the room waiting to be played ever-so-meaningfully.
It was encouraging to see that they had a piano and a violin. I can only pray that they will drop the rest of the band. Actually, I shouldn't pray - I should get on the committee that makes these decisions. Action is the word, not manipulation, not just hoping for things to go my way. That's so womanly, isn't it? To rely on someone else to do something because of our passive-aggressive hinting, complaining or threatening. No! If I want something, I'm going to do it myself.
But I am way off subject. Let's see....waiting in line for lunch I met a man who attends St. James in Newport Beach. "Ah," I said, "the church that broke from the Union" (meaning the Anglican Communion). "Yes!" he replied proudly. "And how do you feel about that?" I asked. "Well, it was their only choice," he responded, with particular emphasis on the word "only". Unfortunately we were interrupted before I could ask him why the option to wait for the findings of the Archbishop's Lambeth committee (which is currently working on the "gay issue") wasn't considered.
We Anglicans, our whole thing is that we worship in communion. We don't agree on much else except the articles of the Nicene creed. And that is okay! The important thing is that we stick together. And in my opinion, God's command that we love one another (eg the Church be unified) trumps most anything else. Oh, I think that was Jesus' opinion too. If I'm reading the Golden Rule correctly.
Leaving that depressing conversation (although I look forward to getting into it with the conservatives on the "gay issue"), I sat myself at a table for lunch with a female professor whose work I admire and another female student. The three of us spent most of the lunch talking about ways to invigorate the women on campus, honor those who made strides before us, and take it all to the next level. It was postively wonderful. I look forward to working with the campus Women's Concerns Committee. What a great thing that they have a Women's Concerns Committee (and that it is a separate thing from the Wives' Support Group--HA! And hey, where is the Husbands' Support Group?).
Throughout the day, I kept meeting women who were doing MA's in Theology (not as rigorous as the MDiv) who said I was "brave" for tackling my degree. And all I'm thinking is that the men I've met doing this degree are mostly not rocket scientists (some seem barely communicative). Why is it that any old man, dumb as a post, feels just fine getting himself and MDiv, but bright, vital women fret and worry and wonder if they are good enough? Does it go back to Barbie stating "Math class is tough"?
The women I met in the MDiv track were, for the most part, sure of themselves, their call, and their future. And many of them, to my surprise, said they want to be pastors. Good for them!
I can't wait to get into class. I have a feeling that it will be the students, not professors, who will be the most combative on these issues. Of course, my first class is Greek. Probably won't be too much rousing debate in there.
Oh, one more thing: during his address to the students, the President of the school talked about the advances the school has made since its first class of 47 white north american men graduated in 1947. He ticked off a list of groups that the seminary has opened up to, and concluded with this: "Praise the Lord, now we have TWO genders!"
I led the applause.
At breakfast I met a woman who is middle-aged and getting her MDiv because she feels called to being a pastor. She is already a speech therapist, and seems happy with her work. It makes me wonder how many people are still stuck in the false belief that the only way their vocation can honor God is if it is in full-time church work? It seems to me that speech therapy--freeing people's voices--is incredibly important, life-affirming, God-honoring work.
She seemed to really enjoy the next sessions, laughing and singing. She enjoyed them a little too much for my taste. The jokes were not really funny. The music wasn't that great. I'm not trying to be the cynic, but I do believe in being critical of what is set before me. Just because it has the label "Christian" on it does not make it good (just look at our president).
I personally was pretty bored. My music biases will come through loud and clear in this blog so I may as well say right now that I hate "praise" music: that is, church music that is created to sound like soft pop (and is about as deep). My usual pet peeves were being pricked all over: the music didn't seem to fit in properly at the points it was sung in the service, the singers were showing off their voices, the instruments were too loud and not conducive to a worshipful atmosphere. And Etc. So I'm always already a little pissy when I walk into something and there are guitars at the front of the room waiting to be played ever-so-meaningfully.
It was encouraging to see that they had a piano and a violin. I can only pray that they will drop the rest of the band. Actually, I shouldn't pray - I should get on the committee that makes these decisions. Action is the word, not manipulation, not just hoping for things to go my way. That's so womanly, isn't it? To rely on someone else to do something because of our passive-aggressive hinting, complaining or threatening. No! If I want something, I'm going to do it myself.
But I am way off subject. Let's see....waiting in line for lunch I met a man who attends St. James in Newport Beach. "Ah," I said, "the church that broke from the Union" (meaning the Anglican Communion). "Yes!" he replied proudly. "And how do you feel about that?" I asked. "Well, it was their only choice," he responded, with particular emphasis on the word "only". Unfortunately we were interrupted before I could ask him why the option to wait for the findings of the Archbishop's Lambeth committee (which is currently working on the "gay issue") wasn't considered.
We Anglicans, our whole thing is that we worship in communion. We don't agree on much else except the articles of the Nicene creed. And that is okay! The important thing is that we stick together. And in my opinion, God's command that we love one another (eg the Church be unified) trumps most anything else. Oh, I think that was Jesus' opinion too. If I'm reading the Golden Rule correctly.
Leaving that depressing conversation (although I look forward to getting into it with the conservatives on the "gay issue"), I sat myself at a table for lunch with a female professor whose work I admire and another female student. The three of us spent most of the lunch talking about ways to invigorate the women on campus, honor those who made strides before us, and take it all to the next level. It was postively wonderful. I look forward to working with the campus Women's Concerns Committee. What a great thing that they have a Women's Concerns Committee (and that it is a separate thing from the Wives' Support Group--HA! And hey, where is the Husbands' Support Group?).
Throughout the day, I kept meeting women who were doing MA's in Theology (not as rigorous as the MDiv) who said I was "brave" for tackling my degree. And all I'm thinking is that the men I've met doing this degree are mostly not rocket scientists (some seem barely communicative). Why is it that any old man, dumb as a post, feels just fine getting himself and MDiv, but bright, vital women fret and worry and wonder if they are good enough? Does it go back to Barbie stating "Math class is tough"?
The women I met in the MDiv track were, for the most part, sure of themselves, their call, and their future. And many of them, to my surprise, said they want to be pastors. Good for them!
I can't wait to get into class. I have a feeling that it will be the students, not professors, who will be the most combative on these issues. Of course, my first class is Greek. Probably won't be too much rousing debate in there.
Oh, one more thing: during his address to the students, the President of the school talked about the advances the school has made since its first class of 47 white north american men graduated in 1947. He ticked off a list of groups that the seminary has opened up to, and concluded with this: "Praise the Lord, now we have TWO genders!"
I led the applause.
Why Feminary?
I've decided to keep this blog to track my journey through seminary. At the moment I am thinking I'd like to keep this anonymous, although I am sure that eventually the identity of my school, and even myself, will become obvious to those paying attention.
Nearly a decade after finishing my BA I've decided to go back to school. This in and of itself is a big step in life, but what I've chosen to study--theology--takes it to a different level altogether. And yet, this is the only thing that I could study. I never wanted to get a graduate degree because I feared getting bored with my subject. But God, being eternal and boundless and bottomless, seemed to be a topic that could hold my attention throughout life.
There are other reasons, of course, than just this practicality. I come from a line of preachers. Grandpa had a doctorate and pastored a church for 33 years. Dad went to Dallas Theological Seminary, was ordained Southern Baptist, then went into youth ministry for 20 years and has only just taken on his own church within the last 10 years. Nobody in my generation seemed to be picking up the baton, as it were, and since I already felt "called", I obliged.
The idea had been buzzing around my brain, in fact, for many years. Now and then it would come strongly, when I had an idea for a sermon, or a church service, or counseled someone. Last year it became intense. I visited a monk for spiritual direction and he wasn't shocked by the idea: point 1. Then I went on retreat and was remarkable all weekend. What I mean by this is that words were coming out of my mouth and I don't know where they were coming from, but somehow I kept knowing exactly what to say to people. I was able to talk to their situation even when I didn't know it. People kept marveling at my wisdom, and I myself was amazed. This was a great feeling. I wanted to keep doing it.
And so shortly after that experience, I spoke to my favorite priest, who said he could see the call on my life. He called me a colleague. That's a goosebumpy thing to hear.
I applied, I got in, and now here I am. I haven't nearly gone into all the details of why I chose the particular school I am at, or why I even chose to go at all. But I'm on the verge of boring myself, so I am going to move on to the next topic. Which is...
Why am I calling this Feminary?
See, I am, I think, a feminist. At least in the sense that I believe women and men are equal. And in the sense that I believe women are still repressed in many ways. And in the sense that I believe many women don't care enough to change that and that saddens me.
Besides being a cute name, proclaiming my studies "Feminary" is putting front-and-center my attitude, the objections I've heard or perceived, the goals I hope to accomplish, and the motivation which will fuel many of my choices. Everything I do in seminary will be informed by my voice as a woman. I can't help but be constantly aware of my femininity as I start this adventure. How does my double-x chromosome fit into a calling to ministry? Why must I be hyper aware of my girliness?
I was raised in a church that repressed women. My father's church still argues over whether women can be ushers. Despite whatever gains have been made, it seems that in much of the country, and especially the world, the church is still a patriarchial society. I must be aware of what I can do to reform this.
My brother works as a music minister at a church, and occasionally preaches. Somehow, from my dad at least, I get the feeling that my brother is the "minister" in the family. I am afraid this will not change, even when I have a piece of paper that says Master of Divinity. I want to carry on the mantle. But will I be recognized as the one?
At school, I see many men, but also many women around me. I can't help but wonder, how many of these women will get their MDiv then go on to do nothing with it? They will get jobs doing something less than their calling. And they may not even realize that they are not living up to their potential. Why? Because women so often see their calling as serving others. Serving our families is noble, to be sure, but I can't help but wonder if it has become so because of what the Bible teaches or what culture has instilled.
It was only recently that I caught myself almost giving this degree (that I want so badly) up in favor of my husband's life. Thankfully, he told me to do my thing and he would sacrifice for me. Wow! After 8 years of putting him through school, I had become so used to being the breadwinner that I'd forgotten that I was neglecting myself. My sense of responsibility for my family was trumping my own inner voice, which was crying out for stimulation and purpose. Thanks be to God for giving me a man in my life who honors my calling.
This seems to be getting rather random, and I am sure I will have more thoughts as things progress, so I will stop now.
Nearly a decade after finishing my BA I've decided to go back to school. This in and of itself is a big step in life, but what I've chosen to study--theology--takes it to a different level altogether. And yet, this is the only thing that I could study. I never wanted to get a graduate degree because I feared getting bored with my subject. But God, being eternal and boundless and bottomless, seemed to be a topic that could hold my attention throughout life.
There are other reasons, of course, than just this practicality. I come from a line of preachers. Grandpa had a doctorate and pastored a church for 33 years. Dad went to Dallas Theological Seminary, was ordained Southern Baptist, then went into youth ministry for 20 years and has only just taken on his own church within the last 10 years. Nobody in my generation seemed to be picking up the baton, as it were, and since I already felt "called", I obliged.
The idea had been buzzing around my brain, in fact, for many years. Now and then it would come strongly, when I had an idea for a sermon, or a church service, or counseled someone. Last year it became intense. I visited a monk for spiritual direction and he wasn't shocked by the idea: point 1. Then I went on retreat and was remarkable all weekend. What I mean by this is that words were coming out of my mouth and I don't know where they were coming from, but somehow I kept knowing exactly what to say to people. I was able to talk to their situation even when I didn't know it. People kept marveling at my wisdom, and I myself was amazed. This was a great feeling. I wanted to keep doing it.
And so shortly after that experience, I spoke to my favorite priest, who said he could see the call on my life. He called me a colleague. That's a goosebumpy thing to hear.
I applied, I got in, and now here I am. I haven't nearly gone into all the details of why I chose the particular school I am at, or why I even chose to go at all. But I'm on the verge of boring myself, so I am going to move on to the next topic. Which is...
Why am I calling this Feminary?
See, I am, I think, a feminist. At least in the sense that I believe women and men are equal. And in the sense that I believe women are still repressed in many ways. And in the sense that I believe many women don't care enough to change that and that saddens me.
Besides being a cute name, proclaiming my studies "Feminary" is putting front-and-center my attitude, the objections I've heard or perceived, the goals I hope to accomplish, and the motivation which will fuel many of my choices. Everything I do in seminary will be informed by my voice as a woman. I can't help but be constantly aware of my femininity as I start this adventure. How does my double-x chromosome fit into a calling to ministry? Why must I be hyper aware of my girliness?
I was raised in a church that repressed women. My father's church still argues over whether women can be ushers. Despite whatever gains have been made, it seems that in much of the country, and especially the world, the church is still a patriarchial society. I must be aware of what I can do to reform this.
My brother works as a music minister at a church, and occasionally preaches. Somehow, from my dad at least, I get the feeling that my brother is the "minister" in the family. I am afraid this will not change, even when I have a piece of paper that says Master of Divinity. I want to carry on the mantle. But will I be recognized as the one?
At school, I see many men, but also many women around me. I can't help but wonder, how many of these women will get their MDiv then go on to do nothing with it? They will get jobs doing something less than their calling. And they may not even realize that they are not living up to their potential. Why? Because women so often see their calling as serving others. Serving our families is noble, to be sure, but I can't help but wonder if it has become so because of what the Bible teaches or what culture has instilled.
It was only recently that I caught myself almost giving this degree (that I want so badly) up in favor of my husband's life. Thankfully, he told me to do my thing and he would sacrifice for me. Wow! After 8 years of putting him through school, I had become so used to being the breadwinner that I'd forgotten that I was neglecting myself. My sense of responsibility for my family was trumping my own inner voice, which was crying out for stimulation and purpose. Thanks be to God for giving me a man in my life who honors my calling.
This seems to be getting rather random, and I am sure I will have more thoughts as things progress, so I will stop now.
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