Monday, October 31, 2005

More liberal guilt

Gas (oil) is a one-time gift from God and doesn't grow back. We're taking it from our children.
Gas causes global warming which causes bad storms.
Gas causes the US to be beholden to oil-producing countries.
Gas causes air pollution that gives me asthma.
Gas is freaking expensive (as is an old dying car).

I feel like we can't continue to be holier than thou about the environment until we stop driving so much every day. I think as Christians maybe we need to work harder to find places nearby to work and go to church and school.

But of course I love the money J gets and the attention he gets from all these schools where he is teaching. They just happen to be 50 miles from our home. And not on train routes.

I sit in ethics class feeling terrible because I filled up the car yet again this morning and we fill up over and over all week. Ugh.

I have to think about this. Theologically. It's not just the money that I like - I like that he's getting good opportunities to teach and possible future contacts. There are really good reasons for him to teach at all those schools.

I'm a big loser because I won't go get a bicycle. But I only drive 1 day a week - the rest of the time it's a combo of carpool and train. And my long trip (to USC) is train. Usually. Tomorrow I was going to drive. Damn.

I honestly don't know what's best, but I just feel very bad about buying so much gas.

I guess we didn't buy almost any for 3 years so it evens out? Living in Downtown LA we nearly got rid of the car (just needed it to get to church). Three years of putting under 8,000 miles on the car per year. Those were the days.

Now J's jobs have him driving over 100 miles most days. It's jumping up so quickly. And here I am trying to be Ms. good corporate citizen. I'm such a hypocrite. We all are, really.

At least J stopped me from buying a digital camera today. Curse's outrageously fantastic deals! I fall for them every time! And I want that camera so badly. But I really need to actually stop and think before dropping dollars. It's not happening enough and the junk is amassing. Thank god I'm married to a person who really doesn't care much for possessions. Well, except books, DVDs, and Apple products.

Now I need to go get groceries and will I let myself buy junk? Probably.

*sigh* I am afraid to go through this giant stack of receipts sitting next to me. It will prove how much we've spent in the last couple days. Just days! And a stack!

Ugh. I hate my spendiness.


Emily said...

I wrestle with this myself, as being part of a clergy couple, one or both of us will always be commuting. I try to to make choices about other trips and pay attention to other environmental areas to make up for it. But I don't have a good answer. Working at one's chosen vocation (and one you hope God has fitted you for) is a good thing, too.

Stasi said...

Yes, and God has been providing jobs so wonderfully for J that I really hate to complain. The classes he teaches are ones he gets to invent and he has a great time with it. The schools seem to be truly happy to have him, and one or more of them are true prospects for a real full-time (tenure track??) position. If that happens, we'll move out by that school, and that will be that. Since I have no clue what to do with my life (and this degree), I'm just going along for the ride.