It really just boils down to this: whatever side we take on the issue, can we agree that there is diversity in the church right now? And if so, should a seminary which accepts students (and professors and staff) from the different denominations allow for the differences by simply requesting that people stay within the moral boundaries defined by their denomination? Not on everything, if you like, but perhaps just on this one issue, because it's up in the air.
I'm not sure that taking a hard-line stance on this will really do anyone any good. And in my case, it severely limits where I will be able to pursue my graduation requirements. Not because I'm personally living outside the boundaries. But because the people who run my church happen to have come down on the opposite side from the seminary.
I am so curious now as to how they will handle this. It's got to have come up before. What will they say? Where will I go?
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Friday, July 15, 2005
Ready to rumble
I think I'm going to fight this. It seems ridiculous that Fuller would accept Episcopal students and then not allow them to do internships within their own denomination! Because you see, my denomination - at least my diocese - is inclusive. The churches where I'd want to do my internships are inclusive. And the people who would be my supervisors, even if they are not homosexual themselves, would stand in solidarity with those in our church who are. And those in the other churches who are. Which is every other church.
I'll do this and I'll take a big magic marker and blot out that part of the contract. And if Fuller doesn't like it, then they're going to have to give me responsible historical-critical analysis that supports their position. On most other social "issues", like slavery and women's rights, biblical scholarship has trumped proof-texting. So why are we still pulling verses out of context (both their Biblical and historical/cultural contexts) on this issue? I guess the same reason why people use Proverbs to support beating children (yet ignore the one about if you eat too much you should slit your own throat).
I've been taught well about why my church believes as it does. They came to this with much prayer and much study. They did not throw out the bible. And they did not bend to pressure from people who aren't ready yet. In 100 years, I want my great-grandchildren to be able to say I was on the right side of this. I don't want them to look back in shame, as those whose ancestors owned slaves now do.
My church is inclusive, and I want to devote myself to it. This church has given me life, it's made me a Christian. It's my link to the Almighty. I trust my church, and my bishop and my denomination.
Fuller is just going to have to accept that not all churches agree on this any more, and they either need to stop accepting students from denominations which are inclusive or they need to stop requiring this of internship supervisors. Because otherwise, they're kicking us all out of our own churches!
I'll do this and I'll take a big magic marker and blot out that part of the contract. And if Fuller doesn't like it, then they're going to have to give me responsible historical-critical analysis that supports their position. On most other social "issues", like slavery and women's rights, biblical scholarship has trumped proof-texting. So why are we still pulling verses out of context (both their Biblical and historical/cultural contexts) on this issue? I guess the same reason why people use Proverbs to support beating children (yet ignore the one about if you eat too much you should slit your own throat).
I've been taught well about why my church believes as it does. They came to this with much prayer and much study. They did not throw out the bible. And they did not bend to pressure from people who aren't ready yet. In 100 years, I want my great-grandchildren to be able to say I was on the right side of this. I don't want them to look back in shame, as those whose ancestors owned slaves now do.
My church is inclusive, and I want to devote myself to it. This church has given me life, it's made me a Christian. It's my link to the Almighty. I trust my church, and my bishop and my denomination.
Fuller is just going to have to accept that not all churches agree on this any more, and they either need to stop accepting students from denominations which are inclusive or they need to stop requiring this of internship supervisors. Because otherwise, they're kicking us all out of our own churches!
Trying to be philosophical
I suppose I can see how the Community Standards are reflective of what the majority of Fuller believes Christian behavior to be. And they do not include the really silly things like drinking, dancing, smoking - all that fun stuff from Wheaton. I think gambling might be in there. And there's a huge section on divorce (it's not a deal-breaker, but it's not a good thing).
Hmmm...I think the problem with homosexuals is that they are continuing to "live in sin" - they refuse to give up the "sinful" sex they have (of course, 5 years into my marriage, I wasn't having a whole lot of sex, and we're talking about 60-year-old women; I doubt these gals are humping like bunnies). Like many Christians who want to toe the line, they simply say that it's OK to be gay, just don't act on it.
But it seems really dumb to me. This woman can't change who she is - and why should she? She came out very late in life, and it seems like she should be granted grace and be able to finally love the way she was meant to - the way that was denied for so many years.
So what? She might taint me? I might "go gay"? This sucks because it eliminates just about every internship I could have, simply because I gravitate towards progressive Episcopal churches and people who aren't going to sign in agreement with the Standards.
Well, here's what they say:
Fuller Theological Seminary believes that heterosexual union must be reserved for marriage and insists on sexual abstinence for the unmarried. The seminary believes premarital, extramarital, and homosexual forms of explicit sexual conduct to be inconsistent with
the teaching of Scripture.
Consequently, the seminary expects all members of its community—trustees, faculty members, students, administrators, and staff members—to abstain from what it holds to be unbiblical
sexual practices.
At least they have a section on Dishonesty too. Because you know we all abstain from that.
Hmmm...I think the problem with homosexuals is that they are continuing to "live in sin" - they refuse to give up the "sinful" sex they have (of course, 5 years into my marriage, I wasn't having a whole lot of sex, and we're talking about 60-year-old women; I doubt these gals are humping like bunnies). Like many Christians who want to toe the line, they simply say that it's OK to be gay, just don't act on it.
But it seems really dumb to me. This woman can't change who she is - and why should she? She came out very late in life, and it seems like she should be granted grace and be able to finally love the way she was meant to - the way that was denied for so many years.
So what? She might taint me? I might "go gay"? This sucks because it eliminates just about every internship I could have, simply because I gravitate towards progressive Episcopal churches and people who aren't going to sign in agreement with the Standards.
Well, here's what they say:
Fuller Theological Seminary believes that heterosexual union must be reserved for marriage and insists on sexual abstinence for the unmarried. The seminary believes premarital, extramarital, and homosexual forms of explicit sexual conduct to be inconsistent with
the teaching of Scripture.
Consequently, the seminary expects all members of its community—trustees, faculty members, students, administrators, and staff members—to abstain from what it holds to be unbiblical
sexual practices.
At least they have a section on Dishonesty too. Because you know we all abstain from that.
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Another opportunity lost?
Today I had an outstanding meeting with the Associate Dean for Religious Life at USC. We talked all about the different faith groups on campus, which range widely and enjoy a lot of support from the administration. USC is really committed to helping students explore their spiritual sides during their college years. I would venture to say that's a pretty crucial exploration time for many people.
Since J will be a professor, we imagine we'll be around college most of our life. We dream about owning a home where students who are seeking spiritually can live, get direction, participate in daily ritual, and just ask questions.
So I talked with her about doing an internship, and she was really keen on me working with the interfaith council, which is the group of representatives from all the different faith groups. They meet monthly and put on a few events every year that are open to everyone, where they can explain about their faith or perform a ritual or something that gives others a sense of what they believe.
It was so exciting! I would love to work with these students. For one thing, I would learn so much from exposure to all these different faith groups. I would be able to help the Christian students build bridges with the others. I would help put together the interfaith services (how cool is THAT!).
I left so totally high on life. What a great opportunity!!
But then I got back to my office and I checked Fuller's requirements. And I realized that there is probably very little chance that they'll let me do this internship.
Not because it's interfaith. Not because it's at USC.
Because the woman who would supervise me, who has nearly 40 years ministry experience, who has an MDiv and Phd and was one of the first women ever ordained in the Church of England, this woman who has lived a life of faith and even has a degree from Fuller! - BUT, this woman chooses to live in a committed monogamous loving relationship (she was married at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco). She does not repress her love and she does not spread it around inappropriately. She is simply married ... to a woman.
And according to Fuller's Community Standards, that makes her unfit to supervise my internship. This woman cannot teach me how to minister to college students (despite her many years doing so from a place of Christian faith), cannot teach me about Jesus, cannot be trusted with my oh-so-fragile faith, because she's gay.
And I will tell you, people, I am hopping mad. It's so stupid! I could understand if she were another religion, or if she were actually supposed to be my teacher. But she's a Christian - majorly! And she's just supervising my internship!
I have a feeling that Fuller would prefer I be supervised by my boss, an observant Jew, than by a Jesus-loving homosexual. What is UP with that?!?
And now this amazing opportunity - to learn so much about the faith of college students, to soak in cultures from around the world, to interact with and impact potentially hundreds of young people, to learn from them and prepare myself for what could very well be my life's ministry - it just might have to be trashed.
It's all just so imperfect and unfair. I'm so sad. I'm sad for Fuller. I'm sad for those kids. I'm sad for me. I'm sad for our stupid world, especially the Christians.
Why can't someone who sincerely loves Jesus be my mentor?
He who is without sin......................................
Since J will be a professor, we imagine we'll be around college most of our life. We dream about owning a home where students who are seeking spiritually can live, get direction, participate in daily ritual, and just ask questions.
So I talked with her about doing an internship, and she was really keen on me working with the interfaith council, which is the group of representatives from all the different faith groups. They meet monthly and put on a few events every year that are open to everyone, where they can explain about their faith or perform a ritual or something that gives others a sense of what they believe.
It was so exciting! I would love to work with these students. For one thing, I would learn so much from exposure to all these different faith groups. I would be able to help the Christian students build bridges with the others. I would help put together the interfaith services (how cool is THAT!).
I left so totally high on life. What a great opportunity!!
But then I got back to my office and I checked Fuller's requirements. And I realized that there is probably very little chance that they'll let me do this internship.
Not because it's interfaith. Not because it's at USC.
Because the woman who would supervise me, who has nearly 40 years ministry experience, who has an MDiv and Phd and was one of the first women ever ordained in the Church of England, this woman who has lived a life of faith and even has a degree from Fuller! - BUT, this woman chooses to live in a committed monogamous loving relationship (she was married at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco). She does not repress her love and she does not spread it around inappropriately. She is simply married ... to a woman.
And according to Fuller's Community Standards, that makes her unfit to supervise my internship. This woman cannot teach me how to minister to college students (despite her many years doing so from a place of Christian faith), cannot teach me about Jesus, cannot be trusted with my oh-so-fragile faith, because she's gay.
And I will tell you, people, I am hopping mad. It's so stupid! I could understand if she were another religion, or if she were actually supposed to be my teacher. But she's a Christian - majorly! And she's just supervising my internship!
I have a feeling that Fuller would prefer I be supervised by my boss, an observant Jew, than by a Jesus-loving homosexual. What is UP with that?!?
And now this amazing opportunity - to learn so much about the faith of college students, to soak in cultures from around the world, to interact with and impact potentially hundreds of young people, to learn from them and prepare myself for what could very well be my life's ministry - it just might have to be trashed.
It's all just so imperfect and unfair. I'm so sad. I'm sad for Fuller. I'm sad for those kids. I'm sad for me. I'm sad for our stupid world, especially the Christians.
Why can't someone who sincerely loves Jesus be my mentor?
He who is without sin......................................
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Ahhhhhh.....home
Wow - church today was awesome! I'm so sad I haven't been to the music service in ages. It was really good today. I walked in and saw a guy with a guitar (my heart sank). But this dude really understood how to play for our context. It didn't feel happy-clappy at all - but it was very joyful. What a treat to have something different. He's going to be around all of July, so that will be nice. I volunteered to sing with him.
Then in August our new music director will come, fresh from Yale. My experience with Yalies (sp?) is really great. The Dean of my school (Annenberg, not Fuller) is from Yale, and one of my favorite liturgists/priests went there (Carol Wade, now at the National Cathedral making up services for them - dream job!!), and my last choir director Dale Adelmann who I love and who taught me so much went there. I myself checked out the Institute when I was looking for an MDiv program (went to Fuller because Brehm is more diversified in artistic forms). So I have high hopes for this newbie. I may even placate my surrounding parishoners and join the choir (I am frequently asked to do so by those sitting near me).
Anyway, the music was great, and Rev. Anne Tumilty preached a wonderful sermon on the parable of the sower and the terrorist attacks in London and the Christian response. I was enraptured.
Plus there were people there from Fuller and from USC. All my little worlds converging. The only person not there was J, who had gone without waking me to the 8:00 service. But he says he'll be coming along to the 10:00 for the rest of the summer, since I gave the music such high praise. Thank God! I was just yesterday lamenting the loss of music in my life and contemplating the very difficult, exhausting idea of going back to sing at All Saints. Perhaps I will be able to fill that need 3 blocks away instead.
Blessings to you - I pray that your church experience today, if you have one, is all the more joyful and Spirit-filled!
Then in August our new music director will come, fresh from Yale. My experience with Yalies (sp?) is really great. The Dean of my school (Annenberg, not Fuller) is from Yale, and one of my favorite liturgists/priests went there (Carol Wade, now at the National Cathedral making up services for them - dream job!!), and my last choir director Dale Adelmann who I love and who taught me so much went there. I myself checked out the Institute when I was looking for an MDiv program (went to Fuller because Brehm is more diversified in artistic forms). So I have high hopes for this newbie. I may even placate my surrounding parishoners and join the choir (I am frequently asked to do so by those sitting near me).
Anyway, the music was great, and Rev. Anne Tumilty preached a wonderful sermon on the parable of the sower and the terrorist attacks in London and the Christian response. I was enraptured.
Plus there were people there from Fuller and from USC. All my little worlds converging. The only person not there was J, who had gone without waking me to the 8:00 service. But he says he'll be coming along to the 10:00 for the rest of the summer, since I gave the music such high praise. Thank God! I was just yesterday lamenting the loss of music in my life and contemplating the very difficult, exhausting idea of going back to sing at All Saints. Perhaps I will be able to fill that need 3 blocks away instead.
Blessings to you - I pray that your church experience today, if you have one, is all the more joyful and Spirit-filled!
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Random
Well I thought I better post something so that Baptist thing can move further down and we can all stop worrying about it.
I got to write my first feminist paper. It was about the OT writings and Reading Lolita in Tehran and The Piano. I am now a huge fan of Phyllis Trible. Go Phyllis! And I also really enjoyed commentaries edited by Athalya Brenner (I didn't read much of her own stuff but she knows how to find good material) and I liked the book by Renita J. Weems on women in scripture. Did you ever think about the Song of Songs being a redemption of the love story ("gone awry") told in Genesis? Phyllis tells us all about it.
Also, why is Lois suddenly showing up on Smallville? Can anyone help me out here? I am proud to say that my friend Luke Schelhaus wrote last night's episode. I mean, I'm proud he's my friend. Sadly I couldn't finish the ep. I never got much into that show.
But today since J is looking for things to show in his Ethics of Sex class, I was watching season 6 of Buffy. And all of us who hated it at the time it aired were wrong. It's genius. Every single show is genius. Well maybe not doublemeat palace, but I haven't rewatched it yet. They are all about sex, yes, and love and addiction especially, but they are also majorly dealing with gray areas of morality. Finally, the most moral show on TV gives in to postmodernism. Yet the heroine remains in the moral center - she doesn't want there to be gray. She wants right and wrong. And people think that show is demonic. Geez!
What else is going on? I'm having a hard time getting myself into the ordination process. I was in it, then I was out of it, then I switched churches, so now I'm church "homeless" and nobody can send me to be ordained. Which is tricky because people keep asking me why I'm not being ordained. And also I woke up the other morning and realized that there was really no reason not to be. If it means that I would end up the lone priest of a small country church, well...that actually sounds pretty good to me. *sigh* But no one will send me. Which very well might mean I'm not called. I trust the church to pick their leaders. It ain't up to me. Even if I am called.
OK, my hands hurt and I have a huge day tomorrow. So I'm signing off. But at least now you know I'm still here. Please take a moment, by the way, to pray for the people in London. Thanks.
I got to write my first feminist paper. It was about the OT writings and Reading Lolita in Tehran and The Piano. I am now a huge fan of Phyllis Trible. Go Phyllis! And I also really enjoyed commentaries edited by Athalya Brenner (I didn't read much of her own stuff but she knows how to find good material) and I liked the book by Renita J. Weems on women in scripture. Did you ever think about the Song of Songs being a redemption of the love story ("gone awry") told in Genesis? Phyllis tells us all about it.
Also, why is Lois suddenly showing up on Smallville? Can anyone help me out here? I am proud to say that my friend Luke Schelhaus wrote last night's episode. I mean, I'm proud he's my friend. Sadly I couldn't finish the ep. I never got much into that show.
But today since J is looking for things to show in his Ethics of Sex class, I was watching season 6 of Buffy. And all of us who hated it at the time it aired were wrong. It's genius. Every single show is genius. Well maybe not doublemeat palace, but I haven't rewatched it yet. They are all about sex, yes, and love and addiction especially, but they are also majorly dealing with gray areas of morality. Finally, the most moral show on TV gives in to postmodernism. Yet the heroine remains in the moral center - she doesn't want there to be gray. She wants right and wrong. And people think that show is demonic. Geez!
What else is going on? I'm having a hard time getting myself into the ordination process. I was in it, then I was out of it, then I switched churches, so now I'm church "homeless" and nobody can send me to be ordained. Which is tricky because people keep asking me why I'm not being ordained. And also I woke up the other morning and realized that there was really no reason not to be. If it means that I would end up the lone priest of a small country church, well...that actually sounds pretty good to me. *sigh* But no one will send me. Which very well might mean I'm not called. I trust the church to pick their leaders. It ain't up to me. Even if I am called.
OK, my hands hurt and I have a huge day tomorrow. So I'm signing off. But at least now you know I'm still here. Please take a moment, by the way, to pray for the people in London. Thanks.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Sunday, July 03, 2005
What Kingdom Do We Serve?
Last year, I was out of town for the Fourth of July weekend and attended a local church service in the San Diego area. It got underway with about 45 minutes of music about America, which rarely mentioned God except to say that He’d given us this country or this was His nation. We were instructed to stand and even lift our hands, but the objects of our worship, as evidenced by the red, white and blue on the choir members and the flags waving on the jumbo-trons, seemed to be our country, our liberty, and our right as Christians to worship freely. Throughout the show, the screens showed images of fireworks, little children waving flags, and the statue of liberty, but they also occasionally cut to footage of soldiers at war, particularly when the choir sang about honoring those who’ve lost their lives for our liberties. The music culminated with a rousing anthem and a giant American flag, as long as the large stage and as tall as the ceiling, rising majestically as a backdrop.
Then the pastor got up and proceeded to preach from the Declaration of Independence. I am pretty sure that was his chosen text for the sermon (the Bible was cited only when it could be used to prove the correctness of the conservative right or of nationalism). He launched into a fiery speech about our rights as Christians to proclaim the truth, and warned of the renegade judges who are trying to take that freedom away from churches. He selectively chose events in America’s history that made the church look good and the government bad, and even brought up women’s suffrage and the end of slavery as examples of the church properly leading a liberal charge. Yet I doubt that this man has any interest whatsoever in changing the current government’s administration, nor in leading the way for civil rights in new liberal causes. Before the service was over, he managed to plug his book. Finally he announced watermelon was available for all (which may have drawn the most enthusiastic response of the night). To me, it felt much more like a civic gathering than worship.
I am grateful for the country in which I live, and thankful that I have the freedom to worship and share my faith with others without fearing persecution. Yet I hope that I would live no differently in any other part of the world. While I appreciate my country, I don’t feel the need to say it’s the greatest one on earth, as the preacher emphasized to great applause. My loyalty is to God’s kingdom, not any one in this world. I read once that American and Chinese Christians have more in common than Christian and non-Christian Americans. Do we really live like that is the truth?
I wonder if this attitude starts with believing that we have heaven all wrapped up, we’re “on the list.” This ascribes us to the secular viewpoint that the “now” doesn’t really impact the “then”. We can celebrate our country’s achievements yet ignore its mistakes. We can support presidents who lie to us, because their names are recorded in the book of life. We can say that America is the greatest nation on earth without pondering where that leaves our loyalty to the Kingdom of God.
In fact, as Dallas Willard is fond of teaching, “the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand”. We’re already doing our Kingdom work. And in my humble opinion, working on the governments of the kingdom of the world is a waste of time. We should be doing work that furthers God’s Kingdom – and that means it’s done without regard for earthly borders, languages, or nations.
At home, I attend an orthodox Episcopal church. I didn’t need to look any farther than the Book of Common Prayer to learn what a different service my faith community experienced on the Fourth of July. The lectionary listed this Gospel reading:
Matthew 5:43-48
You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax-collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
My church doesn’t have big screens, but if it did, I highly doubt that images of war or the statue of liberty could have been shown in response to that passage.
When we choose to follow Christ, we choose a life of slavery. Liberty and freedom are irrelevant. The idea of our “rights” should be a foreign concept. Our lives are not our own. We only cling to Jesus and do our best to live like he did.
I hope that Christians will think carefully about the potential impact of our country's great power and wealth – not just for America's benefit, but the world's. Are we more concerned with protecting our institutions and way of life than saving lives in other countries? Have we grown so nationalistic that we prefer to vote on ethnocentric ideologies while millions face poverty, terror, disease, and death?
The billions spent on war could perhaps be better used elsewhere. A nation known for feeding the world’s hungry would probably not need to worry about terrorist attacks on its own soil.
Good work on this problem has begun, as yesterday's "Live 8" concerts showed. Take action - check out the One campaign, or True Majority, or the Christian Alliance for Progress. Let's do something now that will have eternal impact - and will help someone other than ourselves.
Sounds like a good Independence Day resolution.
Then the pastor got up and proceeded to preach from the Declaration of Independence. I am pretty sure that was his chosen text for the sermon (the Bible was cited only when it could be used to prove the correctness of the conservative right or of nationalism). He launched into a fiery speech about our rights as Christians to proclaim the truth, and warned of the renegade judges who are trying to take that freedom away from churches. He selectively chose events in America’s history that made the church look good and the government bad, and even brought up women’s suffrage and the end of slavery as examples of the church properly leading a liberal charge. Yet I doubt that this man has any interest whatsoever in changing the current government’s administration, nor in leading the way for civil rights in new liberal causes. Before the service was over, he managed to plug his book. Finally he announced watermelon was available for all (which may have drawn the most enthusiastic response of the night). To me, it felt much more like a civic gathering than worship.
I am grateful for the country in which I live, and thankful that I have the freedom to worship and share my faith with others without fearing persecution. Yet I hope that I would live no differently in any other part of the world. While I appreciate my country, I don’t feel the need to say it’s the greatest one on earth, as the preacher emphasized to great applause. My loyalty is to God’s kingdom, not any one in this world. I read once that American and Chinese Christians have more in common than Christian and non-Christian Americans. Do we really live like that is the truth?
I wonder if this attitude starts with believing that we have heaven all wrapped up, we’re “on the list.” This ascribes us to the secular viewpoint that the “now” doesn’t really impact the “then”. We can celebrate our country’s achievements yet ignore its mistakes. We can support presidents who lie to us, because their names are recorded in the book of life. We can say that America is the greatest nation on earth without pondering where that leaves our loyalty to the Kingdom of God.
In fact, as Dallas Willard is fond of teaching, “the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand”. We’re already doing our Kingdom work. And in my humble opinion, working on the governments of the kingdom of the world is a waste of time. We should be doing work that furthers God’s Kingdom – and that means it’s done without regard for earthly borders, languages, or nations.
At home, I attend an orthodox Episcopal church. I didn’t need to look any farther than the Book of Common Prayer to learn what a different service my faith community experienced on the Fourth of July. The lectionary listed this Gospel reading:
Matthew 5:43-48
You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax-collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
My church doesn’t have big screens, but if it did, I highly doubt that images of war or the statue of liberty could have been shown in response to that passage.
When we choose to follow Christ, we choose a life of slavery. Liberty and freedom are irrelevant. The idea of our “rights” should be a foreign concept. Our lives are not our own. We only cling to Jesus and do our best to live like he did.
I hope that Christians will think carefully about the potential impact of our country's great power and wealth – not just for America's benefit, but the world's. Are we more concerned with protecting our institutions and way of life than saving lives in other countries? Have we grown so nationalistic that we prefer to vote on ethnocentric ideologies while millions face poverty, terror, disease, and death?
The billions spent on war could perhaps be better used elsewhere. A nation known for feeding the world’s hungry would probably not need to worry about terrorist attacks on its own soil.
Good work on this problem has begun, as yesterday's "Live 8" concerts showed. Take action - check out the One campaign, or True Majority, or the Christian Alliance for Progress. Let's do something now that will have eternal impact - and will help someone other than ourselves.
Sounds like a good Independence Day resolution.
Buttwipe
So people meet J and me and, upon finding out that he's got a master's in Philosophy of Religion and is doing a PhD in philosophy focusing on ethics and aesthetics, and I'm working on an MDiv with a concentration in worship, theology and the arts, they always say to us, "You guys must have the most fascinating conversations!"
Or they get scared and leave the room.
But you know what we talk about? Well, just now we were having a most illuminating discourse on the etymology of the word "buttwipe." From what source did this insult from our childhood derive? Back in the day, they didn't have the Cottenelle moist wipes that J calls "buttwipes" - basically baby wipes for adults. So why did we call one another "buttwipe?"
I suggested perhaps it had something to do with a person being so stupid that I would wipe my butt with them.
This, my friends, is the conversation of intellectuals.
And really, people complain to no end about the potty humor in movies, but do you know why it's there? Because people like us need to laugh at something asinine now and then. We can't always be on. Shakespeare, J points out, wrote plenty of potty humor. It's a fine tradition.
Hmmm...I might have to go watch my all-time favorite religious film, Dogma. The best of both my worlds.
Or they get scared and leave the room.
But you know what we talk about? Well, just now we were having a most illuminating discourse on the etymology of the word "buttwipe." From what source did this insult from our childhood derive? Back in the day, they didn't have the Cottenelle moist wipes that J calls "buttwipes" - basically baby wipes for adults. So why did we call one another "buttwipe?"
I suggested perhaps it had something to do with a person being so stupid that I would wipe my butt with them.
This, my friends, is the conversation of intellectuals.
And really, people complain to no end about the potty humor in movies, but do you know why it's there? Because people like us need to laugh at something asinine now and then. We can't always be on. Shakespeare, J points out, wrote plenty of potty humor. It's a fine tradition.
Hmmm...I might have to go watch my all-time favorite religious film, Dogma. The best of both my worlds.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Lament
So here is a lament psalm. It was a class assignment, and it's not great. But I wasn't supposed to spend more than a couple hours on it. Maybe I'll keep touching it up.
O Lord, your temple is besieged,
Your holy dwelling-place filled with the unjust!
They perform empty ceremonies,
Making idols with your name.
The prayers of the unjust rise like smoke;
Like black soot are their praises.
They come before you as children,
As little ones without understanding;
Your priests strive to teach them,
Your apprentices seek to nourish them,
They offer food to the infants,
Their good food is rejected.
We are rent as a garment,
Israel’s fabric pulls at the seams,
We stress to the breaking-point,
Tearing away from our Lord.
The Lord is the mighty one of Israel
Who brought his people out of bondage.
He sent his son to proclaim good news of love
And apostles to prepare his Bride.
The Lord is full of steadfast love
And his faithfulness to his people endures forever.
O Lord, rise up and heal,
Mend the divisions of Israel!
Do not neglect your servants,
Who seek to understand your will!
The Lord will not stay silent,
He despises injustice in his name.
The Lord will not honor their ceremonies,
Nor let them worship falsely in his name.
He will hold the unjust accountable,
And will spit them out of his mouth.
He will guide his people to the comb
And with sweet truth he will fill them.
Therefore I will praise the Lord,
I will make my praise before the assembly.
I will study and gain knowledge,
I will open my mind to the wonders of the Almighty.
I will cry out to my God,
I will demand justice for the oppressed.
I will serve the Lord’s will,
And I will forever proclaim his desires to the people.
O Lord, your temple is besieged,
Your holy dwelling-place filled with the unjust!
They perform empty ceremonies,
Making idols with your name.
The prayers of the unjust rise like smoke;
Like black soot are their praises.
They come before you as children,
As little ones without understanding;
Your priests strive to teach them,
Your apprentices seek to nourish them,
They offer food to the infants,
Their good food is rejected.
We are rent as a garment,
Israel’s fabric pulls at the seams,
We stress to the breaking-point,
Tearing away from our Lord.
The Lord is the mighty one of Israel
Who brought his people out of bondage.
He sent his son to proclaim good news of love
And apostles to prepare his Bride.
The Lord is full of steadfast love
And his faithfulness to his people endures forever.
O Lord, rise up and heal,
Mend the divisions of Israel!
Do not neglect your servants,
Who seek to understand your will!
The Lord will not stay silent,
He despises injustice in his name.
The Lord will not honor their ceremonies,
Nor let them worship falsely in his name.
He will hold the unjust accountable,
And will spit them out of his mouth.
He will guide his people to the comb
And with sweet truth he will fill them.
Therefore I will praise the Lord,
I will make my praise before the assembly.
I will study and gain knowledge,
I will open my mind to the wonders of the Almighty.
I will cry out to my God,
I will demand justice for the oppressed.
I will serve the Lord’s will,
And I will forever proclaim his desires to the people.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Ugh
I get so overwhelmed and disgusted.
Last year, when I worked full-time for a journalism school, I kept on top of everything going on in the world. I read three or four newspapers every day, plus I read dozens of stories from all over the world pertaining to religion that I found on the Revealer or Christianity Today's weblog. I cared deeply about the election (there's some wasted energy) and about the future of our country, our planet, our faith. I even stopped eating animals, both for health, and also because I was sick of the violence it perpetuated. And I went to seminary because I cared about these things.
Now I am tired. I tried to look at the CT blog and it's still the same issues (ex-gay therapy, Anglican split, oh, here's a new one - the Southern Baptists have lifted their ban on Disney - lots of good I'm sure that did). I used to find world politics fascinating - now I find it depressing. I loved following American politics too - now it's veering so far from reality that it just pisses me off.
Sadly, I want to retreat into the ivory tower. I want to bury myself in my books and studies. Is the world going to care anyway? And what is the church's role in all this? It's so confused. What are we really supposed to be doing? I mean, what will actually advance the kingdom of God?
I do my homework and my job and go to class and when I get to rest I either read more about Christianity or, God help me, I watch reality television. At least that Kitchen show. And the one about being a Hilton. And the Beauty and the Geek (that one is actually very sweet - it's all these people learning to look past surface appearances). And the home makeover show, which makes me cry every time. I also have been escaping into movies. I bought Luther, Saved!, and Simone the other day. Man, that Saved is freaking hilarious.
I guess I did read the book about Iran (and have subsequently found myself reading everything I can about their recent "election"). Despite my best efforts, any honest attempt to discover some kind of truth about the world will, inevitably, lead me back to facing the world, and its problems, and my own inadequacy and fear and compassion.
You know what I want to do? Eat a pizza and move to Paris. How's that for indulgence? *sigh* We are just not called to such luxuries. But I am tired. Sometimes caring so much makes you so. I think JC knew that.
Last year, when I worked full-time for a journalism school, I kept on top of everything going on in the world. I read three or four newspapers every day, plus I read dozens of stories from all over the world pertaining to religion that I found on the Revealer or Christianity Today's weblog. I cared deeply about the election (there's some wasted energy) and about the future of our country, our planet, our faith. I even stopped eating animals, both for health, and also because I was sick of the violence it perpetuated. And I went to seminary because I cared about these things.
Now I am tired. I tried to look at the CT blog and it's still the same issues (ex-gay therapy, Anglican split, oh, here's a new one - the Southern Baptists have lifted their ban on Disney - lots of good I'm sure that did). I used to find world politics fascinating - now I find it depressing. I loved following American politics too - now it's veering so far from reality that it just pisses me off.
Sadly, I want to retreat into the ivory tower. I want to bury myself in my books and studies. Is the world going to care anyway? And what is the church's role in all this? It's so confused. What are we really supposed to be doing? I mean, what will actually advance the kingdom of God?
I do my homework and my job and go to class and when I get to rest I either read more about Christianity or, God help me, I watch reality television. At least that Kitchen show. And the one about being a Hilton. And the Beauty and the Geek (that one is actually very sweet - it's all these people learning to look past surface appearances). And the home makeover show, which makes me cry every time. I also have been escaping into movies. I bought Luther, Saved!, and Simone the other day. Man, that Saved is freaking hilarious.
I guess I did read the book about Iran (and have subsequently found myself reading everything I can about their recent "election"). Despite my best efforts, any honest attempt to discover some kind of truth about the world will, inevitably, lead me back to facing the world, and its problems, and my own inadequacy and fear and compassion.
You know what I want to do? Eat a pizza and move to Paris. How's that for indulgence? *sigh* We are just not called to such luxuries. But I am tired. Sometimes caring so much makes you so. I think JC knew that.
Little of this and that
So how was my conference?
Well it was fine, although much of it was retread from other classes and talks I've attended. The people not from Fuller seemed to enjoy it a great deal. There was a little more mime-ing than I care to see - I simply don't think it's something that many churches can present well, nor is it particularly relevant or very entertaining for people my age, and therefore it should not be so much of a focus. It seems like we'd benefit more from artistic suggestions that could actually be implemented at a majority of churches in an effective way. But of course that will always largely depend upon the particular ways the HS has gifted any given congregation. Perhaps what is needed is less showing-off of certain types of art (dance, mime, music by the guy who used to backup Elton John--like yeah, we all have musicians of that caliber!) that only an institution like Fuller can really access. Perhaps we should be instead educating pastors to a) find the gifts of their congregation's artists and then b) empower the use of those gifts. There are some curricula out there, but more could be written. Maybe I should get on that.
I'm supposed to guest write on another blog starting next week. I don't even have time to write on here! What have I gotten myself into? Well I will at least post a link to it when I write there.
I'm really loving my Writings class. It's all happening really fast (5 weeks total), and it's kind of swirling around me at the moment. But I love these stories! And I love the emotion in the Psalms and Ecclesiastes and Job. So much humanity. Lately I've been thinking maybe I should just become an OT scholar! But I have to see how Hebrew agrees with me first. It's what killed my Dad - he had to leave DTS and go to another sem that didn't require it!
So for writings I can write a paper about a couple of novels and/or movies and/or songs, about how they present what it means to be human, and how the Writings can enrich and inform them (not the other way 'round). Any ideas, guys? I just finished Reading Lolita in Tehran, which is great, by the way. I wonder if that could be used. I'm sure if I thought about it 5 minutes things would come to mind, but I'm just bouncing around in so many things at the moment that it's hard to focus.
I did have a talk with my professor about whether I belong at Fuller. He affirmed my suspicions that my Epis polity class was actually more conservative than the majority of Fuller students and particularly Epis Fuller students. That was a relief. I have to remember that I chose this denomination because
OH....Bob Dylan is playing..."like a rol-ling stone"...love that...excuse me while I jam for a moment.
right because they are so diverse! I love the broadness of God's mercy that is affirmed by the Anglican Communion. And I also have to trust, as Dr. G reminded me, that my faith has evolved to this place because God's led me here. I don't think I've been misled, and I certainly having been trying to drive this train. Things happen around me and I pay attention. Opportunities come up and I grab them. Disappointments happen. The future is uncertain. It's all life. It's all part of this journey, and I really am just enjoying the ride. Like a complete unknown. Like a rolling stone.
Oh, hell I can't write when Bob's singing to me.
Well it was fine, although much of it was retread from other classes and talks I've attended. The people not from Fuller seemed to enjoy it a great deal. There was a little more mime-ing than I care to see - I simply don't think it's something that many churches can present well, nor is it particularly relevant or very entertaining for people my age, and therefore it should not be so much of a focus. It seems like we'd benefit more from artistic suggestions that could actually be implemented at a majority of churches in an effective way. But of course that will always largely depend upon the particular ways the HS has gifted any given congregation. Perhaps what is needed is less showing-off of certain types of art (dance, mime, music by the guy who used to backup Elton John--like yeah, we all have musicians of that caliber!) that only an institution like Fuller can really access. Perhaps we should be instead educating pastors to a) find the gifts of their congregation's artists and then b) empower the use of those gifts. There are some curricula out there, but more could be written. Maybe I should get on that.
I'm supposed to guest write on another blog starting next week. I don't even have time to write on here! What have I gotten myself into? Well I will at least post a link to it when I write there.
I'm really loving my Writings class. It's all happening really fast (5 weeks total), and it's kind of swirling around me at the moment. But I love these stories! And I love the emotion in the Psalms and Ecclesiastes and Job. So much humanity. Lately I've been thinking maybe I should just become an OT scholar! But I have to see how Hebrew agrees with me first. It's what killed my Dad - he had to leave DTS and go to another sem that didn't require it!
So for writings I can write a paper about a couple of novels and/or movies and/or songs, about how they present what it means to be human, and how the Writings can enrich and inform them (not the other way 'round). Any ideas, guys? I just finished Reading Lolita in Tehran, which is great, by the way. I wonder if that could be used. I'm sure if I thought about it 5 minutes things would come to mind, but I'm just bouncing around in so many things at the moment that it's hard to focus.
I did have a talk with my professor about whether I belong at Fuller. He affirmed my suspicions that my Epis polity class was actually more conservative than the majority of Fuller students and particularly Epis Fuller students. That was a relief. I have to remember that I chose this denomination because
OH....Bob Dylan is playing..."like a rol-ling stone"...love that...excuse me while I jam for a moment.
right because they are so diverse! I love the broadness of God's mercy that is affirmed by the Anglican Communion. And I also have to trust, as Dr. G reminded me, that my faith has evolved to this place because God's led me here. I don't think I've been misled, and I certainly having been trying to drive this train. Things happen around me and I pay attention. Opportunities come up and I grab them. Disappointments happen. The future is uncertain. It's all life. It's all part of this journey, and I really am just enjoying the ride. Like a complete unknown. Like a rolling stone.
Oh, hell I can't write when Bob's singing to me.
Friday, June 24, 2005
A few thoughts on the women of Esther
Esther was a woman of her times, and the story was written in and for a patriarchal society. At first glance, she comes off as a victim of circumstance, used by the men around her. She is hauled off to a beauty pageant and made a queen without her consent. She takes her life into her hands when confronting the king at the behest (and guilt trip) of her guardian Mordecai. One could wonder if she had any thoughts of her own at all!
But there is more to Esther. She uses a uniquely feminine approach to getting her way: utilizing her beauty, a few good meals, wine, weeping, and fainting in the extended version – all things that women have used for centuries to exploit men’s weaknesses. She is skilled at using her “feminine wiles,” but that doesn’t necessarily make her three-dimensional. One could still argue that she only does as she is told by Mordecai, admittedly using some brilliant methods to accomplish her tasks.
Digging under the surface of the story we discover there is more to Esther than being men’s puppet. She must have been deeply conflicted at the discovery of the conspiracy against her people. Despite Mordecai’s arguments, in the end, she still had to decide to face the king. One moment she is refusing Mordecai’s request and the next she has resigned herself to possible death – obviously an inner struggle has changed her heart. She is brave and cunning, and uses her womanhood as her weapon.
Whether it is authentic or not, we learn much more about Esther’s inner life in the extended Greek (Septuagint) version of the story. In the additions, she is fleshed out into a three-dimensional character, with her own motivations and fears and thoughts, rather than just being influenced by the men around her. She has a healthy spiritual life and is quite a humble person, not enamored of her royalty at all. She is more obviously a woman to be emulated in the longer version. I highly recommend finding a copy.
Vashti: I recall that when I heard this story growing up, I was given the impression that Vashti kind of had it coming – she was portrayed as a “feminazi” who was being unreasonable. But in re-reading the story, I see that we are not told why she didn’t come to the king. Maybe she was sick, or it was that time of the month – or something more serious. It wasn’t necessarily just a bad hair day or her being obstinate. I think Vashti frequently gets a bad rap from a chauvinistic husband and society (both hers and ours). It would be a fun experiment to rewrite the whole story from her perspective. Some do see her as the ultimate feminist, standing up against the man (when Esther used more traditional "womanly" methods of getting her way). But we really just can't know, can we?
Zeresh is also an interesting character – she is another wise woman in the story. She pleases her husband with her vicious suggestion of a gallows, but she also sees through him and predicts his downfall. She is another example of the strength and insight of women, though in her case, she is beholden to the villain – she is the yin to Esther’s yang.
This is a time when people’s lives are not their own. The royal power decided whether they lived or died. Vashti’s refusal to acknowledge the king’s power led to her death. Mordecai’s empowerment of Esther’s position leads to the saving of their lives. The power of a royal edict – of the king himself – is recognized and exploited throughout the story by both Haman and Esther/Mordecai. When power is used to selfish ends (as by Haman), it becomes a satisfyingly destructive weapon. When it is used for the sake of others (as by Esther), it effects good. Interestingly, in using her womanly power, Esther subverts the king’s power (causing him to change his edict), and the ultimate power over life and death is granted back to the Jews (who don't necessarily use this power wisely).
The vision of womanhood in the story is difficult to discover under the prejudices we bring to the text. I believe the story understands women to be wiser, less emotional, and more rational than men (Esther is the one who points out the laws of the land to Mordecai, after all, and the potential hopelessness of his suggestion). However, because of the society in which they lived, they had to find ways to influence men, rather than exerting their own influence, to change their circumstances. Vashti rejects this power (for whatever reason), and is punished. Zeresh has won over Haman (by such great ideas as the gallows) and feels courageous enough to proclaim his downfall. Esther, though fearful, knows that she is uniquely positioned to influence the king, and finds the way of doing that which honors both of their roles in the relationship.
A final thought: As I read of the slaughter propagated by the Jews at the end, it sounds like they were not simply acting in self-defense, but going overboard. Suddenly they were feared by their neighbors, and they used this power to bloody ends. No one is innocent. Although the Jews are saved, they fall victim to the selfishness and greed of the power that was once used against them.
But there is more to Esther. She uses a uniquely feminine approach to getting her way: utilizing her beauty, a few good meals, wine, weeping, and fainting in the extended version – all things that women have used for centuries to exploit men’s weaknesses. She is skilled at using her “feminine wiles,” but that doesn’t necessarily make her three-dimensional. One could still argue that she only does as she is told by Mordecai, admittedly using some brilliant methods to accomplish her tasks.
Digging under the surface of the story we discover there is more to Esther than being men’s puppet. She must have been deeply conflicted at the discovery of the conspiracy against her people. Despite Mordecai’s arguments, in the end, she still had to decide to face the king. One moment she is refusing Mordecai’s request and the next she has resigned herself to possible death – obviously an inner struggle has changed her heart. She is brave and cunning, and uses her womanhood as her weapon.
Whether it is authentic or not, we learn much more about Esther’s inner life in the extended Greek (Septuagint) version of the story. In the additions, she is fleshed out into a three-dimensional character, with her own motivations and fears and thoughts, rather than just being influenced by the men around her. She has a healthy spiritual life and is quite a humble person, not enamored of her royalty at all. She is more obviously a woman to be emulated in the longer version. I highly recommend finding a copy.
Vashti: I recall that when I heard this story growing up, I was given the impression that Vashti kind of had it coming – she was portrayed as a “feminazi” who was being unreasonable. But in re-reading the story, I see that we are not told why she didn’t come to the king. Maybe she was sick, or it was that time of the month – or something more serious. It wasn’t necessarily just a bad hair day or her being obstinate. I think Vashti frequently gets a bad rap from a chauvinistic husband and society (both hers and ours). It would be a fun experiment to rewrite the whole story from her perspective. Some do see her as the ultimate feminist, standing up against the man (when Esther used more traditional "womanly" methods of getting her way). But we really just can't know, can we?
Zeresh is also an interesting character – she is another wise woman in the story. She pleases her husband with her vicious suggestion of a gallows, but she also sees through him and predicts his downfall. She is another example of the strength and insight of women, though in her case, she is beholden to the villain – she is the yin to Esther’s yang.
This is a time when people’s lives are not their own. The royal power decided whether they lived or died. Vashti’s refusal to acknowledge the king’s power led to her death. Mordecai’s empowerment of Esther’s position leads to the saving of their lives. The power of a royal edict – of the king himself – is recognized and exploited throughout the story by both Haman and Esther/Mordecai. When power is used to selfish ends (as by Haman), it becomes a satisfyingly destructive weapon. When it is used for the sake of others (as by Esther), it effects good. Interestingly, in using her womanly power, Esther subverts the king’s power (causing him to change his edict), and the ultimate power over life and death is granted back to the Jews (who don't necessarily use this power wisely).
The vision of womanhood in the story is difficult to discover under the prejudices we bring to the text. I believe the story understands women to be wiser, less emotional, and more rational than men (Esther is the one who points out the laws of the land to Mordecai, after all, and the potential hopelessness of his suggestion). However, because of the society in which they lived, they had to find ways to influence men, rather than exerting their own influence, to change their circumstances. Vashti rejects this power (for whatever reason), and is punished. Zeresh has won over Haman (by such great ideas as the gallows) and feels courageous enough to proclaim his downfall. Esther, though fearful, knows that she is uniquely positioned to influence the king, and finds the way of doing that which honors both of their roles in the relationship.
A final thought: As I read of the slaughter propagated by the Jews at the end, it sounds like they were not simply acting in self-defense, but going overboard. Suddenly they were feared by their neighbors, and they used this power to bloody ends. No one is innocent. Although the Jews are saved, they fall victim to the selfishness and greed of the power that was once used against them.
Corpus Christi
A sermon by Canon Howard Stringfellow, Diocese of Bethlehem.
+ In the Name of the True and Living God: Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.
The grass, sometimes, is greener on our side of the fence. We can be forgiven for thinking our ecclesiastical controversies are sharper and fiercer, and more consequential, than many of the past. And if we can be forgiven, we should seek forgiveness the best way we know: by hitting the nearest kneeler or hassock and asking for it and by taking comfort, which means strength, from the Holy Sacrament, the Sacrament of Unity, the very unity of Christ's body.
Many of us take that view, that our conflicts and our situations, beyond being ours, are somehow more difficult, more challenging, more daunting than those our forebears and predecessors knew. We like our problems, and we wallow in them, mired yet still fully able to wring our hands. But this narrowness and provincialism need forgiveness and correction which is ours by God's gift in the gift of his body and blood.
On July 16, 1724, the Blessed Sacrament was carried in procession around a church in the Polish city of Torun. One account of what happened next tells of a "mean Lutheran burgher" who, with exceptional audacity, refused to bare his head. Appalled at such blasphemy, one of the Jesuit students pulled off the offending hat from the head of the offensive Protestant. For these troubles that student was promptly assaulted by other Lutherans and locked up. Other Jesuit students, apparently unknown to their teachers, then kidnapped and locked up a Lutheran, with the intention of making an exchange of prisoners. This, in turn, prompted a mob to attack the Jesuits' college, where, having beaten up some priests and torn down some altars, they "hewed down the sacred statues and tore and hacked to pieces the images, and especially that of the Holy Virgin." They then dragged to the public square before the schools the statue of the Blessed Virgin and others, where they burned them openly, impiously exulting and leaping over and around the fire.
I am indebted to Jonathan Wright's account of this public spectacle in his year-old book, God's Soldiers, for reminding me by this example of the enduring Eucharistic controversy that our controversies have not yet been fully mined to produce a lode of the highest quality of discord, the purest ore of public degradation. If we think our controversies more important or unique, then we should ask for the forgiveness that narrowness deserves, and we should hesitate before we think ourselves more challenged, more attacked, and more put upon for standing up for our beliefs.
As the Sacrament of Unity, as the body and blood of the Lord, the Eucharist, and how we believe in it, understand it, participate in it, and celebrate it, witnesses to other Christians and to the world that we believe that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, as we read in the First Letter of Saint Paul to Saint Timothy.
For the first one thousand years of the church's history, the Eucharist was viewed primarily as a sacred action. The ancient church insisted that the Sacrament was instituted for the sanctification of the people of God. Thus, according to the early theologians, the purpose of the Eucharist was not so much to make Christ present among us as to be our sacrifice and sacrificial meal. The effects of the Eucharistic action, distributing the benefits of Christ's passion, claimed those early Christians' first and fullest attention, for through the Eucharist and by participation in the Eucharist, Christ saves sinners.
Our controversies, for the most part, touch upon other questions of the church's life. But we need to continue to understand something. The Feast of Corpus Christi is important to us not so much for knowing how Jesus is present in the bread and the wine as knowing why that Presence is a life-and-death matter. We must, as the Gospel today proclaims, eat his flesh and drink his blood; for if we do not, as Christ says to us in the Gospel today, "you have no life in you."
The Eucharistic action, the offering and the blessing of the bread and the wine, the breaking of the bread, and the distribution of both, incorporates sinners into the divine life: this is the heart of the Eucharist and the heart of the Gospel. We are not just spirits and souls; we are bodies as well, and sin wastes us, body and soul. When the Son of God took our nature, he particularly took our flesh and blood, and he dedicated them entirely to our salvation. Christ's humanity, body and soul, is in perfect union with his divinity. That union is not marred by sin. His body and his blood are medicine to our infirmity, food and drink to our hunger and thirst.
As food for our hunger and drink for our thirst, Saint Thomas Aquinas, too, elaborates the importance of the Real Presence, setting aside, if only for a moment, his definition of that Presence. Hear him do so: Christ "offered his body to God the Father on the altar of the cross as a sacrifice for our reconciliation. He shed his blood for our ransom and purification, so that we might be redeemed from our wretched state of bondage and cleansed from all sin. But to ensure that the memory of so great a gift would abide with us forever, he left his body as food and his blood as drink for the faithful to consume in the form of bread and wine."
As surely as the Jesuit sinned in lifting the "mean Lutheran" burgher's hat, and as surely as the Lutherans sinned in attacking the Jesuits' college, we also find ample occasions to sin in our controversies. Doubtlessly, we think we are right; doubtlessly, we think others are wrong; perhaps we believe we have to be the ones to hold out for the right. We might be happy in thinking ourselves right forever but for this. The humanity of our opponents and those with whom we disagree, too, has been incarnated. Christ took their flesh, not just ours. Christ shows no partiality. He is no respecter of persons. He came to save us all. Christ has opened the way of salvation for all sinners, whether they be right or wrong about this or that. And, further, being right doesn't relieve us of the need to partake in Christ's sacrifice and to eat his sacrificial meal. And neither does being wrong disqualify us from participating and receiving. The Sacrament of Unity saves us all in our blindness and in our sight, in our rightness and in our wrongness, and in our strength and in our weakness. On this great Feast and at the end of this and every day, in the Eucharist, Jesus does to us what he does to the bread and the wine in the miracle of the Mass: we become the Corpus Christi. So, let us take and eat with love and reverence, and let us by God's grace live up to what we have received and to what Christ calls us to be.
In the Name of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Ghost. Amen.
+ In the Name of the True and Living God: Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.
The grass, sometimes, is greener on our side of the fence. We can be forgiven for thinking our ecclesiastical controversies are sharper and fiercer, and more consequential, than many of the past. And if we can be forgiven, we should seek forgiveness the best way we know: by hitting the nearest kneeler or hassock and asking for it and by taking comfort, which means strength, from the Holy Sacrament, the Sacrament of Unity, the very unity of Christ's body.
Many of us take that view, that our conflicts and our situations, beyond being ours, are somehow more difficult, more challenging, more daunting than those our forebears and predecessors knew. We like our problems, and we wallow in them, mired yet still fully able to wring our hands. But this narrowness and provincialism need forgiveness and correction which is ours by God's gift in the gift of his body and blood.
On July 16, 1724, the Blessed Sacrament was carried in procession around a church in the Polish city of Torun. One account of what happened next tells of a "mean Lutheran burgher" who, with exceptional audacity, refused to bare his head. Appalled at such blasphemy, one of the Jesuit students pulled off the offending hat from the head of the offensive Protestant. For these troubles that student was promptly assaulted by other Lutherans and locked up. Other Jesuit students, apparently unknown to their teachers, then kidnapped and locked up a Lutheran, with the intention of making an exchange of prisoners. This, in turn, prompted a mob to attack the Jesuits' college, where, having beaten up some priests and torn down some altars, they "hewed down the sacred statues and tore and hacked to pieces the images, and especially that of the Holy Virgin." They then dragged to the public square before the schools the statue of the Blessed Virgin and others, where they burned them openly, impiously exulting and leaping over and around the fire.
I am indebted to Jonathan Wright's account of this public spectacle in his year-old book, God's Soldiers, for reminding me by this example of the enduring Eucharistic controversy that our controversies have not yet been fully mined to produce a lode of the highest quality of discord, the purest ore of public degradation. If we think our controversies more important or unique, then we should ask for the forgiveness that narrowness deserves, and we should hesitate before we think ourselves more challenged, more attacked, and more put upon for standing up for our beliefs.
As the Sacrament of Unity, as the body and blood of the Lord, the Eucharist, and how we believe in it, understand it, participate in it, and celebrate it, witnesses to other Christians and to the world that we believe that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, as we read in the First Letter of Saint Paul to Saint Timothy.
For the first one thousand years of the church's history, the Eucharist was viewed primarily as a sacred action. The ancient church insisted that the Sacrament was instituted for the sanctification of the people of God. Thus, according to the early theologians, the purpose of the Eucharist was not so much to make Christ present among us as to be our sacrifice and sacrificial meal. The effects of the Eucharistic action, distributing the benefits of Christ's passion, claimed those early Christians' first and fullest attention, for through the Eucharist and by participation in the Eucharist, Christ saves sinners.
Our controversies, for the most part, touch upon other questions of the church's life. But we need to continue to understand something. The Feast of Corpus Christi is important to us not so much for knowing how Jesus is present in the bread and the wine as knowing why that Presence is a life-and-death matter. We must, as the Gospel today proclaims, eat his flesh and drink his blood; for if we do not, as Christ says to us in the Gospel today, "you have no life in you."
The Eucharistic action, the offering and the blessing of the bread and the wine, the breaking of the bread, and the distribution of both, incorporates sinners into the divine life: this is the heart of the Eucharist and the heart of the Gospel. We are not just spirits and souls; we are bodies as well, and sin wastes us, body and soul. When the Son of God took our nature, he particularly took our flesh and blood, and he dedicated them entirely to our salvation. Christ's humanity, body and soul, is in perfect union with his divinity. That union is not marred by sin. His body and his blood are medicine to our infirmity, food and drink to our hunger and thirst.
As food for our hunger and drink for our thirst, Saint Thomas Aquinas, too, elaborates the importance of the Real Presence, setting aside, if only for a moment, his definition of that Presence. Hear him do so: Christ "offered his body to God the Father on the altar of the cross as a sacrifice for our reconciliation. He shed his blood for our ransom and purification, so that we might be redeemed from our wretched state of bondage and cleansed from all sin. But to ensure that the memory of so great a gift would abide with us forever, he left his body as food and his blood as drink for the faithful to consume in the form of bread and wine."
As surely as the Jesuit sinned in lifting the "mean Lutheran" burgher's hat, and as surely as the Lutherans sinned in attacking the Jesuits' college, we also find ample occasions to sin in our controversies. Doubtlessly, we think we are right; doubtlessly, we think others are wrong; perhaps we believe we have to be the ones to hold out for the right. We might be happy in thinking ourselves right forever but for this. The humanity of our opponents and those with whom we disagree, too, has been incarnated. Christ took their flesh, not just ours. Christ shows no partiality. He is no respecter of persons. He came to save us all. Christ has opened the way of salvation for all sinners, whether they be right or wrong about this or that. And, further, being right doesn't relieve us of the need to partake in Christ's sacrifice and to eat his sacrificial meal. And neither does being wrong disqualify us from participating and receiving. The Sacrament of Unity saves us all in our blindness and in our sight, in our rightness and in our wrongness, and in our strength and in our weakness. On this great Feast and at the end of this and every day, in the Eucharist, Jesus does to us what he does to the bread and the wine in the miracle of the Mass: we become the Corpus Christi. So, let us take and eat with love and reverence, and let us by God's grace live up to what we have received and to what Christ calls us to be.
In the Name of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Ghost. Amen.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
I thought we lived in Eastertide...
Here's something I wrote during one of the morning worship sessions at my conference. I hope it makes sense. I was typing on my lap in a pew. Still, pretty heady stuff for 8 am, if I do say so myself.
This morning the choir sang an anthem then we sang "In Christ Alone". Both songs heavily emphasized the death of Christ, especially his blood (that covers me). And I began to wonder if it was still Holy Week and I'd missed something. I was thinking about when my church would sing these songs, and I think it would primarily be on Good Friday. Maybe once in a while other times (though certainly not during feast seasons), but there would probably not be two songs in a row that would be entirely about the death of Christ.
I've read that the Protestant church is stuck in Good Friday and rarely makes it to Easter. Or at least, Easter is acknowledged but the life after Easter, the eternal life, is not really enjoyed or celebrated.
I believe that Christ's death is important to the Christian faith - but is it absolutely the central event? Or is Christ's life? Or is the incarnation itself - the death of God is certainly impressive, but the fact of God becoming human may have been even more a "crisis in the life of God", as Jack Miles puts it.
I don't know. I am receding from a sotierology that is so focused on death and pain. Somehow I find that not fitting to the character of God - particularly this idea that God somehow demanded the death of God's son. Or at least, that the death had to be so violent and painful. Could Jesus have died of old age and accomplished the same? Or better yet, could Jesus simply never have died, accomplishing the defeat of death?
Yet Jesus changed upon his resurrection into whatever this new form he is in now is. A form that some believe we will one day take on. Or will we remain in our normal bodies? As a child, I simply wanted to be able to fly, or play on clouds, or walk through walls. I thought the new body sounded fun. But I didn't think much about any deeper implications.
Do we stand at the foot of the cross perpetually? Must we forever proclaim the death of Christ? Or should we proclaim the life, or resurrection, of Christ? Or, should we be proclaiming the life we live now - the union with God,the communion with the Divine, which we are offered through apprenticeship to Christ?
What is salvation? My husband said once that it is the opportunity to live a life infused with the life of God. To join God's plan - already going on fine without you, mind. To quote a very popular, mostly incoherent book, "it's not about you." So salvation may not be about Jesus dying just for my sins or your sins. That might be just a mite too focused on us.
I don't know why I retract, and even feel angry, when the focus is so strongly on the death and suffering of Christ. I guess that just feels like an ugly religion. A religion focused on someone's death! And not just anyone, but the person we worship! Sounds a little nuts.
The focus is, yes, on the resurrection...but it's also on the incarnation. And the miraculous plan and actions of God throughout the First Testament. And the final victory proclaimed in Revelation. And the working out of Christian faith in everyday life as in the epistles. And dare I suggest the ongoing work of God for the last 2000 years - the continuing evolution of God's plan, of the Christian faith. There is so much more to our story than Jesus' death.
The death songs led to a song about being called. The death is supposed to be what makes us want to be called, to follow. I've never personally found death all that inspiring. I think it's a bad thing. I've had a lot of death in my life - particularly young people, and many members of my family - and it's really just not usually very pretty.
The death. Then the guilt. Then the call and perhaps the life. One song even said that "no guilt" was part of God's life in us. I believe with all my heart that is true. Yet in so many of our churches we behave as if the guilt is so necessary! For salvation (must recognize we are sinners and repent), for coming to the Lord's table (don't come unless you've made peace with your brother!), for keeping us "straight" in every day life (the guilt associated with any minor infraction).
I am so surprised and dismayed by the many Christians I know - some that I am very close to and love dearly - who are completely focused on their sinfulness. They cannot see themselves living as saints. And I would say they are not living the full life of God. Are they even living, truly, as Christians?
Christianity is a funny business. I think it is a lot more positive than we give it credit for. I think it's focused on very different things than we think. Let us enter the life of God - with fear, of course, but also not. Let us experience our life in God as a blessing. With thankfulness, of course - but also with confidence. It is God's good pleasure to love us and live with us forever. We need only accept.
This morning the choir sang an anthem then we sang "In Christ Alone". Both songs heavily emphasized the death of Christ, especially his blood (that covers me). And I began to wonder if it was still Holy Week and I'd missed something. I was thinking about when my church would sing these songs, and I think it would primarily be on Good Friday. Maybe once in a while other times (though certainly not during feast seasons), but there would probably not be two songs in a row that would be entirely about the death of Christ.
I've read that the Protestant church is stuck in Good Friday and rarely makes it to Easter. Or at least, Easter is acknowledged but the life after Easter, the eternal life, is not really enjoyed or celebrated.
I believe that Christ's death is important to the Christian faith - but is it absolutely the central event? Or is Christ's life? Or is the incarnation itself - the death of God is certainly impressive, but the fact of God becoming human may have been even more a "crisis in the life of God", as Jack Miles puts it.
I don't know. I am receding from a sotierology that is so focused on death and pain. Somehow I find that not fitting to the character of God - particularly this idea that God somehow demanded the death of God's son. Or at least, that the death had to be so violent and painful. Could Jesus have died of old age and accomplished the same? Or better yet, could Jesus simply never have died, accomplishing the defeat of death?
Yet Jesus changed upon his resurrection into whatever this new form he is in now is. A form that some believe we will one day take on. Or will we remain in our normal bodies? As a child, I simply wanted to be able to fly, or play on clouds, or walk through walls. I thought the new body sounded fun. But I didn't think much about any deeper implications.
Do we stand at the foot of the cross perpetually? Must we forever proclaim the death of Christ? Or should we proclaim the life, or resurrection, of Christ? Or, should we be proclaiming the life we live now - the union with God,the communion with the Divine, which we are offered through apprenticeship to Christ?
What is salvation? My husband said once that it is the opportunity to live a life infused with the life of God. To join God's plan - already going on fine without you, mind. To quote a very popular, mostly incoherent book, "it's not about you." So salvation may not be about Jesus dying just for my sins or your sins. That might be just a mite too focused on us.
I don't know why I retract, and even feel angry, when the focus is so strongly on the death and suffering of Christ. I guess that just feels like an ugly religion. A religion focused on someone's death! And not just anyone, but the person we worship! Sounds a little nuts.
The focus is, yes, on the resurrection...but it's also on the incarnation. And the miraculous plan and actions of God throughout the First Testament. And the final victory proclaimed in Revelation. And the working out of Christian faith in everyday life as in the epistles. And dare I suggest the ongoing work of God for the last 2000 years - the continuing evolution of God's plan, of the Christian faith. There is so much more to our story than Jesus' death.
The death songs led to a song about being called. The death is supposed to be what makes us want to be called, to follow. I've never personally found death all that inspiring. I think it's a bad thing. I've had a lot of death in my life - particularly young people, and many members of my family - and it's really just not usually very pretty.
The death. Then the guilt. Then the call and perhaps the life. One song even said that "no guilt" was part of God's life in us. I believe with all my heart that is true. Yet in so many of our churches we behave as if the guilt is so necessary! For salvation (must recognize we are sinners and repent), for coming to the Lord's table (don't come unless you've made peace with your brother!), for keeping us "straight" in every day life (the guilt associated with any minor infraction).
I am so surprised and dismayed by the many Christians I know - some that I am very close to and love dearly - who are completely focused on their sinfulness. They cannot see themselves living as saints. And I would say they are not living the full life of God. Are they even living, truly, as Christians?
Christianity is a funny business. I think it is a lot more positive than we give it credit for. I think it's focused on very different things than we think. Let us enter the life of God - with fear, of course, but also not. Let us experience our life in God as a blessing. With thankfulness, of course - but also with confidence. It is God's good pleasure to love us and live with us forever. We need only accept.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Scratching backs
In the interest of payback, I'm posting a link to a new story by Jeff Sharlet. Jeff's given me a couple shout-out's over at the Revealer (which, sadly, isn't updating as often these days - a major loss), and I figure it's only fair. Although I highly doubt that I need to publicize for him!
http://harpers.org/SoldiersOfChrist.html
So here's something I've been working on this morning: is Esther a feminist book? I think maybe. It was always presented to me as otherwise, but reading between the lines I'm getting the idea that maybe in fact it's all about the (subversive) power of women. I'll post some more of my thoughts on this later. I'm sure I'm behind the curve on this one, but I always appreciate it when such a well-known story can still surprise me.
http://harpers.org/SoldiersOfChrist.html
So here's something I've been working on this morning: is Esther a feminist book? I think maybe. It was always presented to me as otherwise, but reading between the lines I'm getting the idea that maybe in fact it's all about the (subversive) power of women. I'll post some more of my thoughts on this later. I'm sure I'm behind the curve on this one, but I always appreciate it when such a well-known story can still surprise me.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Hi, I'm back
And I will sloooowly get around to posting stuff, but right now I'm trying to pace myself. We got home yesterday afternoon, and the cats had peed on everything. Then the rental car company (BUDGET!) screwed up and we paid for it. Then I went to class for four hours. Then I got up and went to work but my boss and I crossed signals and didn't meet, so it was a waste of 4 hours of time.
Anyway, I am tired and cranky and don't much feel like telling yet another person how was my trip, so you'll have to wait.
I will cut-and-paste some of what I doodled last night during my first class on the Writings (OT) with Dr. John Goldingay.
Tonight first class with Dr. Goldingay on writings. He's wearing a Coldplay t-shirt (in navy) and blue and white striped shorts. He's already gotten the class laughing and we've sung a psalm (As the Deer). We get a half-hour dinner break - that's a good thing and very considerate. He's also invited us all to his condo for a couple of evenings of discussion (with spouses).
(he says that's the first time we've laughed even though he's told 17 jokes)
The purpose of the OT is NOT to prophesy the Messiah. God inspired the writings to serve the community at their time.
Proverbs says: these are the rules for life, try them and they'll work; Job and Ecclesiastes say no they don't! (David Alan Hubbard)
Daniel is not a prophet to Hebrews (and not listed as such in the book). He's a "wise man".
Insists upon using a gender-inclusive translation and in papers.
Protestantism has replaced the Pope by Professors.
Prayer is saying back to God what God says to you - claiming the character of God.
Anyway, I am tired and cranky and don't much feel like telling yet another person how was my trip, so you'll have to wait.
I will cut-and-paste some of what I doodled last night during my first class on the Writings (OT) with Dr. John Goldingay.
Tonight first class with Dr. Goldingay on writings. He's wearing a Coldplay t-shirt (in navy) and blue and white striped shorts. He's already gotten the class laughing and we've sung a psalm (As the Deer). We get a half-hour dinner break - that's a good thing and very considerate. He's also invited us all to his condo for a couple of evenings of discussion (with spouses).
(he says that's the first time we've laughed even though he's told 17 jokes)
The purpose of the OT is NOT to prophesy the Messiah. God inspired the writings to serve the community at their time.
Proverbs says: these are the rules for life, try them and they'll work; Job and Ecclesiastes say no they don't! (David Alan Hubbard)
Daniel is not a prophet to Hebrews (and not listed as such in the book). He's a "wise man".
Insists upon using a gender-inclusive translation and in papers.
Protestantism has replaced the Pope by Professors.
Prayer is saying back to God what God says to you - claiming the character of God.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Going silent
Sorry to the blog, I am going radio silent for a while. I have to finish up this quarter, and then I'm going to a conference and a very mini vacation. Then I'll start up a new quarter. We'll see what I have time to write about when the dust settles. I'm sure there will be many things to report from the conference. Here's where I'm going:
http://www.brehmcenter.com/Events/Worship_Summit.shtml
It's going to be very emergy. Hopefully I can handle it. I've started Eddie Gibbs' book and it's very good so far. It's called Church Next and it's about all the mistakes churches have been making that have led to their demise. He doesn't really offer solutions, though - at least he says he's not going to, in the intro to the book. We'll see if he can help himself.
I'm actually attempting to read a book for fun Reading Lolita in Tehran. J read it for a class this last quarter and liked it a lot, and it's been on my list for some time. So far I'm really enjoying it. I'm learning a lot about totalitarian regimes in the Middle East, too.
Anyway, must get back to work. Am helping to finish up a proposal for $700,000 for our program! V. exciting.
Cheers to you all. Will miss you.
http://www.brehmcenter.com/Events/Worship_Summit.shtml
It's going to be very emergy. Hopefully I can handle it. I've started Eddie Gibbs' book and it's very good so far. It's called Church Next and it's about all the mistakes churches have been making that have led to their demise. He doesn't really offer solutions, though - at least he says he's not going to, in the intro to the book. We'll see if he can help himself.
I'm actually attempting to read a book for fun Reading Lolita in Tehran. J read it for a class this last quarter and liked it a lot, and it's been on my list for some time. So far I'm really enjoying it. I'm learning a lot about totalitarian regimes in the Middle East, too.
Anyway, must get back to work. Am helping to finish up a proposal for $700,000 for our program! V. exciting.
Cheers to you all. Will miss you.
Saturday, June 04, 2005
Sinfest
This is one of our favorite comics. It can't be published because of the "adult content." Sometimes it gets stupid. But it is frequently hilarious, poignant, and astute. Plus anything with God and the Devil (and a persnickity cat) as main characters gets my attention.
I'm enjoying the last couple days - Slick is presenting to God his list of what he does and does not like about the world. He proclaims that "God likes honest feedback." One of my favorites ever was when he was being attacked by the good Christians on the comic and he said, "Hey, I'm down with the Lord and shit." and they said, "I don't know what to make of that." That's my life comic.
There have been puppet shows from God ridiculing the devil, and the Devil's quit because he's felt trapped by fate in his profession, and the cat constantly mocks the dog. But the original is probably still the best: http://www.sinfest.net/d/20000117.html
Sorry I am not being more thoughtful. I am tired. Want to finish papers!!
I'm enjoying the last couple days - Slick is presenting to God his list of what he does and does not like about the world. He proclaims that "God likes honest feedback." One of my favorites ever was when he was being attacked by the good Christians on the comic and he said, "Hey, I'm down with the Lord and shit." and they said, "I don't know what to make of that." That's my life comic.
There have been puppet shows from God ridiculing the devil, and the Devil's quit because he's felt trapped by fate in his profession, and the cat constantly mocks the dog. But the original is probably still the best: http://www.sinfest.net/d/20000117.html
Sorry I am not being more thoughtful. I am tired. Want to finish papers!!
Thursday, June 02, 2005
June Free for All
The fine folks at LA.Com have put together a list of free things going on in June. If you live in the LA area, check it out.
http://www.la.com/attractions/guideme/junefreeforall/39677
I'm always happy to find something free to do!
http://www.la.com/attractions/guideme/junefreeforall/39677
I'm always happy to find something free to do!
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
To delete or not to delete...
I am struggling with what to do. It would be really easy to hit that little trash can icon and delete all the comments. But I feel like that's playing dirty. And I would be fulfilling the role of "hider from debate."
Plus, I see all these comments as kind of a snapshot of the power of anonymity and the new world of the blog. I mean, in the days when we could still see our neighbors (you know, before the 20 ft hedges), could we have approached someone off the bat with such vitriol? I imagine it would have taken at least some kind of relationship before you could really lay into another human being.
And I also think it's all just more evidence of the fallenness of this world. At one point last night, late when I couldn't sleep, I got all kinds of weird ideas like maybe I was being attacked spiritually. Does the devil blog? If so, does he delete comments? Maybe just those from God.
Anyway that is not like me, to go all spirit-wacky, but that's how weird the whole thing is. It's just so out of the blue to be sitting there one day, going about your business, and then a person - actually, just words, not even a person - goes ballistic on everything you've mused on for the last several months. Just think about that. It's weird. It's something that could only happen now.
So for the moment, the comments are staying, if for no other reason than anthropological interest. We are a strange species.
One more thing that I thought about today: I wonder if when Paul is talking about unclean talk, he's referring more to the content of speech than to dirty words. I mean, is my saying "fuck" about something really worse than someone else saying that "God hates fags"? Is my saying that I'm pissed off (righteously) because of a perceived slight to my Lord worse than someone who tears down the humanity of another being? I just don't think so. Probably none of it is very good. But it's definitely more a social thing than a Christian thing. I have a hard time believing God cares very much about the grunts we make in our primitive tongues (yet being a wordsmith, I have to hope my grunts speak to my fellow cavepeople).
You know, I have nothing else to say about that at the moment that I feel is worth sharing. I'm going to try to get back to freedom, but know that I'm self-censoring in a huge way right now.
And what about pints? Is anybody in LA? Or I'll be in Utah, Idaho, Colorado and Vegas in a couple weeks...? And then in Iowa...
(how about me, the big world traveler!)
Plus, I see all these comments as kind of a snapshot of the power of anonymity and the new world of the blog. I mean, in the days when we could still see our neighbors (you know, before the 20 ft hedges), could we have approached someone off the bat with such vitriol? I imagine it would have taken at least some kind of relationship before you could really lay into another human being.
And I also think it's all just more evidence of the fallenness of this world. At one point last night, late when I couldn't sleep, I got all kinds of weird ideas like maybe I was being attacked spiritually. Does the devil blog? If so, does he delete comments? Maybe just those from God.
Anyway that is not like me, to go all spirit-wacky, but that's how weird the whole thing is. It's just so out of the blue to be sitting there one day, going about your business, and then a person - actually, just words, not even a person - goes ballistic on everything you've mused on for the last several months. Just think about that. It's weird. It's something that could only happen now.
So for the moment, the comments are staying, if for no other reason than anthropological interest. We are a strange species.
One more thing that I thought about today: I wonder if when Paul is talking about unclean talk, he's referring more to the content of speech than to dirty words. I mean, is my saying "fuck" about something really worse than someone else saying that "God hates fags"? Is my saying that I'm pissed off (righteously) because of a perceived slight to my Lord worse than someone who tears down the humanity of another being? I just don't think so. Probably none of it is very good. But it's definitely more a social thing than a Christian thing. I have a hard time believing God cares very much about the grunts we make in our primitive tongues (yet being a wordsmith, I have to hope my grunts speak to my fellow cavepeople).
You know, I have nothing else to say about that at the moment that I feel is worth sharing. I'm going to try to get back to freedom, but know that I'm self-censoring in a huge way right now.
And what about pints? Is anybody in LA? Or I'll be in Utah, Idaho, Colorado and Vegas in a couple weeks...? And then in Iowa...
(how about me, the big world traveler!)
God sends cats
Last night I was having something of a problem, and I tried to go to bed but of course the voices in my head were having trouble shutting up.
And I began one of these prayers that's like God what am I...who am I...why am I...
And then the cat jumped up, stuck her face in mine, snuggled up and purred.
I don't know if it is God or if it is the cat. But their little lives put things in perspective, don't they? To be a being that simply loves...what a concept.
They have a sense of what is wrong in the air - it keeps them alive in the wild, and it puts them on the laps of those who'd rather not take them. And it brings them running when we send our little stress pheremones into the air.
Here's something I wrote about my cat that was actually published in the Fuller lit journal this year (although I personally don't think it's that great):
The Messenger
I sit with eyes closed
struggling to Be Still
and Know
But she is weaving through my legs.
I give up and allow her on my chest.
She approaches me
with so little understanding of who I am,
so much selfish desire,
such inability to communicate.
She loves me, but only for her own gain.
She trusts me, but only insofar as I care for her.
She comes to me, but only for her comfort and solace.
But then she looks up at me
and her purr rumbles in my chest
and she closes her eyes
pressing her head in my chin,
And I realize
that no matter how vast the chasm between our minds,
I live for these moments.
And I realize
that He does too.
Jen, that one was for you. Be inspired! (hope you're not a dog person)
Stasi
ps. Cat who doesn't like to cover in the box just left me a present. Coincidence? I think not.
And I began one of these prayers that's like God what am I...who am I...why am I...
And then the cat jumped up, stuck her face in mine, snuggled up and purred.
I don't know if it is God or if it is the cat. But their little lives put things in perspective, don't they? To be a being that simply loves...what a concept.
They have a sense of what is wrong in the air - it keeps them alive in the wild, and it puts them on the laps of those who'd rather not take them. And it brings them running when we send our little stress pheremones into the air.
Here's something I wrote about my cat that was actually published in the Fuller lit journal this year (although I personally don't think it's that great):
The Messenger
I sit with eyes closed
struggling to Be Still
and Know
But she is weaving through my legs.
I give up and allow her on my chest.
She approaches me
with so little understanding of who I am,
so much selfish desire,
such inability to communicate.
She loves me, but only for her own gain.
She trusts me, but only insofar as I care for her.
She comes to me, but only for her comfort and solace.
But then she looks up at me
and her purr rumbles in my chest
and she closes her eyes
pressing her head in my chin,
And I realize
that no matter how vast the chasm between our minds,
I live for these moments.
And I realize
that He does too.
Jen, that one was for you. Be inspired! (hope you're not a dog person)
Stasi
ps. Cat who doesn't like to cover in the box just left me a present. Coincidence? I think not.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Dear Anonymous Poster
It sounds like you're having a really bad night. I shouldn't have let you get to me. Please email me off-blog if there is something you'd like me to pray about or help you with. I certainly understand stress - lately I've been really down, too.
You sound like you have a lot of ideas and have really had some valuable life experience. I would recommend that you create a blog to post your thoughts and let the world see things your way. Indeed, blogger is a wonderful invention that allows each of us to have our own little space in which to share our personal take on things. On Feminary, I talk about the things that are affecting me right now, and I welcome people to read and take from it what they will. But I will rarely feel the need to defend myself, since these are just my own thoughts about the world and certainly nobody has to agree with me for me to feel good about them. They are good because they are mine - they are a record of my journey, which I am living as authentically as I can, with God's help.
It's only polite to create your own blog to post the long essays that you are writing on mine. Please feel free to use my posts as your starting point to write about topics on your blog. I would take this as a compliment. I would also be fine for you to post in my comments the links to your blog, where you may feel free to talk as long as you like in response to the things that I say.
If you need assistance with creating your blog, blogger has a very easy-to-use help section.
Blessings upon you - and hooray for freedom of speech!
The Feminarian
You sound like you have a lot of ideas and have really had some valuable life experience. I would recommend that you create a blog to post your thoughts and let the world see things your way. Indeed, blogger is a wonderful invention that allows each of us to have our own little space in which to share our personal take on things. On Feminary, I talk about the things that are affecting me right now, and I welcome people to read and take from it what they will. But I will rarely feel the need to defend myself, since these are just my own thoughts about the world and certainly nobody has to agree with me for me to feel good about them. They are good because they are mine - they are a record of my journey, which I am living as authentically as I can, with God's help.
It's only polite to create your own blog to post the long essays that you are writing on mine. Please feel free to use my posts as your starting point to write about topics on your blog. I would take this as a compliment. I would also be fine for you to post in my comments the links to your blog, where you may feel free to talk as long as you like in response to the things that I say.
If you need assistance with creating your blog, blogger has a very easy-to-use help section.
Blessings upon you - and hooray for freedom of speech!
The Feminarian
Dear Friends Who Blog
Have you been hit by a Blog Pest? I sure have.
Some freaky person has been reading my months-old posts and writing vehemently about them. Wow, what wasted venom! When a person starts writing first of all about something so old and second of all fills their post with false assumptions about me, why in the world would I care to read such a thing?
Weird-o. Whatever happened to manners? I guess being able to be anonymous makes the heart bold.
Well, here's my final word. This is my blog, not yours. If you don't like what I say, you can post a sentence or two, sure. But seriously, don't write more than I wrote in the original post. Get your own blog to spew in.
Feminary is my world. Love it or leave it.
Some freaky person has been reading my months-old posts and writing vehemently about them. Wow, what wasted venom! When a person starts writing first of all about something so old and second of all fills their post with false assumptions about me, why in the world would I care to read such a thing?
Weird-o. Whatever happened to manners? I guess being able to be anonymous makes the heart bold.
Well, here's my final word. This is my blog, not yours. If you don't like what I say, you can post a sentence or two, sure. But seriously, don't write more than I wrote in the original post. Get your own blog to spew in.
Feminary is my world. Love it or leave it.
Monday, May 30, 2005
'Cause I'm a wooooooooman
Why can't we be smart?
Why is our passion mistrusted?
Why is our judgement questioned?
Why is our speaking out judged?
Why do we have to be nicer?
Why do we have to be more sentimental?
Why do we have to accept less?
Why aren't we allowed to be angry?
Why can't we call it as we see it?
Why do we have to like children?
Why can't we prefer science?
Or hiking?
Or a career?
Or a debate?
Why aren't men ever called bitchy?
Or feminazis?
Why does expressing your opinon make you a traitor to your gender?
Why do people say the name of my blog with disdain?
Why do people roll their eyes when they hear we have a women's concerns committee?
Why is our passion mistrusted?
Why is our judgement questioned?
Why is our speaking out judged?
Why do we have to be nicer?
Why do we have to be more sentimental?
Why do we have to accept less?
Why aren't we allowed to be angry?
Why can't we call it as we see it?
Why do we have to like children?
Why can't we prefer science?
Or hiking?
Or a career?
Or a debate?
Why aren't men ever called bitchy?
Or feminazis?
Why does expressing your opinon make you a traitor to your gender?
Why do people say the name of my blog with disdain?
Why do people roll their eyes when they hear we have a women's concerns committee?
A Memorial Day Prayer
By Rev. Dick Kozelka (ret)
First Congregational Church of Minnesota
Minneapolis, MN.
Eternal God,
Creator of years, of centuries,
Lord of whatever is beyond time,
Maker of all species and master of all history --
How shall we speak to you
from our smallness and inconsequence?
Except that you have called us to worship you
in spirit and in truth;
You have dignified us with loves and loyalties;
You have lifted us up with your lovingkindnesses.
Therefore we are bold to come before you without groveling
[though we sometimes feel that low]
and without fear
[though we are often anxious].
We sing with spirit and pray with courage
because you have dignified us;
You have redeemed us from the aimlessness
of things' going meaninglessly well.
God, lift the hearts of those
for whom this holiday is not just diversion,
but painful memory and continued deprivation.
Bless those whose dear ones have died
needlessly, wastefully [as it seems]
in accident or misadventure.
We remember with compassion those who have died
serving their countries
in the futility of combat.
There is none of us but must come to bereavement and separation,
when all the answers we are offered
fail the question death asks of each of us.
We believe that you will provide for us
as others have been provided with the fulfillment of
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."
First Congregational Church of Minnesota
Minneapolis, MN.
Eternal God,
Creator of years, of centuries,
Lord of whatever is beyond time,
Maker of all species and master of all history --
How shall we speak to you
from our smallness and inconsequence?
Except that you have called us to worship you
in spirit and in truth;
You have dignified us with loves and loyalties;
You have lifted us up with your lovingkindnesses.
Therefore we are bold to come before you without groveling
[though we sometimes feel that low]
and without fear
[though we are often anxious].
We sing with spirit and pray with courage
because you have dignified us;
You have redeemed us from the aimlessness
of things' going meaninglessly well.
God, lift the hearts of those
for whom this holiday is not just diversion,
but painful memory and continued deprivation.
Bless those whose dear ones have died
needlessly, wastefully [as it seems]
in accident or misadventure.
We remember with compassion those who have died
serving their countries
in the futility of combat.
There is none of us but must come to bereavement and separation,
when all the answers we are offered
fail the question death asks of each of us.
We believe that you will provide for us
as others have been provided with the fulfillment of
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."
Friday, May 27, 2005
A lament
Let us pray for…
Those among our community who have lost loved ones to sudden and violent death.
Those with us who live in fear.
Those who are without employment, food, shelter, or family.
Those who suffer from disease, addiction, chronic pain, mental illness, or impending death.
Those among us who are depressed.
Those who have lost hope.
Those who feel themselves rejected or despised.
Those with broken hearts.
Bring us, O Lord, into the pain of our sisters and brothers around us
That the wide circle of our support
May somehow hold all the tears
May somehow quell the fears
May somehow mend us and bring us closer to one another and to you.
Grant us grace to see the other’s hurt
Cry the other’s lament
Wrench with the other’s grief
Consume the other’s sorrow
Until it is no more the other’s
But it is lost in the prayers and the love of the body.
Bring healing where it can be brought
Bring comfort where it cannot
Bring patience for another day
Of waiting for the raw wound to close.
Cry with us, O Lord
Do not cease to hear us
Do not turn away from us
Do not lose patience with us
Remember when you were one of us
The fragility you took on
The rejection you bore
The loss you felt
The tears you wept
Remember the ones who came to you for healing
And the ones you raised from death
We ask not for a fix
Or an answer
Or even an end
Just cry with us
Just be one of us again
Just allow us to be human
And frail and weak and rejected
And break with us
Ride the waves with us
Point the way home
And we will get there someday
Those among our community who have lost loved ones to sudden and violent death.
Those with us who live in fear.
Those who are without employment, food, shelter, or family.
Those who suffer from disease, addiction, chronic pain, mental illness, or impending death.
Those among us who are depressed.
Those who have lost hope.
Those who feel themselves rejected or despised.
Those with broken hearts.
Bring us, O Lord, into the pain of our sisters and brothers around us
That the wide circle of our support
May somehow hold all the tears
May somehow quell the fears
May somehow mend us and bring us closer to one another and to you.
Grant us grace to see the other’s hurt
Cry the other’s lament
Wrench with the other’s grief
Consume the other’s sorrow
Until it is no more the other’s
But it is lost in the prayers and the love of the body.
Bring healing where it can be brought
Bring comfort where it cannot
Bring patience for another day
Of waiting for the raw wound to close.
Cry with us, O Lord
Do not cease to hear us
Do not turn away from us
Do not lose patience with us
Remember when you were one of us
The fragility you took on
The rejection you bore
The loss you felt
The tears you wept
Remember the ones who came to you for healing
And the ones you raised from death
We ask not for a fix
Or an answer
Or even an end
Just cry with us
Just be one of us again
Just allow us to be human
And frail and weak and rejected
And break with us
Ride the waves with us
Point the way home
And we will get there someday
Thursday, May 26, 2005
No internship for me
I had such an amazing experience yesterday working with my peers in creating a worship service. Somehow...with the Spirit's help no doubt...we all came together and we spoke the same language. For one incredible hour it just clicked - I didn't even mind the praise choruses!
But today I learned that there is not "space" for me to be part of the ongoing creation of such experiences. They offered to meet me to tell me why but I cannot. My heart is broken. I just wanted to do what God's given me to do. I wanted to serve and to share my gifts.
Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much. I wish I weren't so intelligent and opinionated too. I wish I wasn't so talented and passionate. I wish I could just be a normal person.
But I am not. And what I am is incredibly threatening. And very hard to work with.
I took great comfort that when I told my mother about my interview she said she and my aunt have the same problem. People tell her all the time, "You can't be so open and honest with people."
My family - my mom's side at +-least - is just candid. We- +are open books
.+++++++------------
so+-rry +my cat is lying all ov+-er the keyboard. Bless her. She always come -s when I am crying.
What an incredi------------------ble thing. +++---------more kitty love
I am candid and opinionated and passionate and smart and I want so badly to use what I have got to show other people the way to God.
For the next year at least, it's going to have to be on the blog, I suppose.
Please, may I ask you not to send me comments about God's other plans for me, or about how I would have been good and it's their loss, or even about 66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666 the cat is going evil on me.
You know what I mean. Sometimes that doesn't help. But if you have pain - if the people of God have somehow stunted your growth, or made your gifts feel unwelcome, or made yourself feel inappropriate, then I want to hear it. Tell me your story.
But today I learned that there is not "space" for me to be part of the ongoing creation of such experiences. They offered to meet me to tell me why but I cannot. My heart is broken. I just wanted to do what God's given me to do. I wanted to serve and to share my gifts.
Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much. I wish I weren't so intelligent and opinionated too. I wish I wasn't so talented and passionate. I wish I could just be a normal person.
But I am not. And what I am is incredibly threatening. And very hard to work with.
I took great comfort that when I told my mother about my interview she said she and my aunt have the same problem. People tell her all the time, "You can't be so open and honest with people."
My family - my mom's side at +-least - is just candid. We- +are open books
.+++++++------------
so+-rry +my cat is lying all ov+-er the keyboard. Bless her. She always come -s when I am crying.
What an incredi------------------ble thing. +++---------more kitty love
I am candid and opinionated and passionate and smart and I want so badly to use what I have got to show other people the way to God.
For the next year at least, it's going to have to be on the blog, I suppose.
Please, may I ask you not to send me comments about God's other plans for me, or about how I would have been good and it's their loss, or even about 66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666 the cat is going evil on me.
You know what I mean. Sometimes that doesn't help. But if you have pain - if the people of God have somehow stunted your growth, or made your gifts feel unwelcome, or made yourself feel inappropriate, then I want to hear it. Tell me your story.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
God showed up
Oh, wow, you guys...the chapel service was amazing! I can't believe how Spirit-filled it was...when just yesterday afternoon we were an anxious, fearful group of wannabes. But it worked! It was one of the best services I've ever attended.
It is truly amazing what can be done with a group of people who are serious about worship. Every last bit was intentional, theologically considered...every person contributing was thoughtful, humble, and ever so talented. People did everything from bake communion bread (yum!) to dance the Sanctus (wow!) to play the accordian (!!!).
People really responded to the reading. I think it hit home for a lot of us, since we're in the midst of wrapping up all the papers and tests that come with the end of quarter. There were "amen"s and they even laughed at the jokes! What a wonderful gift it was to me to be able to share this Word with my peers.
If only every chapel could be that way. If I get this internship, I'll do my best to make sure it is.
It is truly amazing what can be done with a group of people who are serious about worship. Every last bit was intentional, theologically considered...every person contributing was thoughtful, humble, and ever so talented. People did everything from bake communion bread (yum!) to dance the Sanctus (wow!) to play the accordian (!!!).
People really responded to the reading. I think it hit home for a lot of us, since we're in the midst of wrapping up all the papers and tests that come with the end of quarter. There were "amen"s and they even laughed at the jokes! What a wonderful gift it was to me to be able to share this Word with my peers.
If only every chapel could be that way. If I get this internship, I'll do my best to make sure it is.
Sunday, May 22, 2005
The Christian Alliance for Progress
Hydeeho.
I just finished 5 hours of take home exam. Ugh, ugh, ugh. That was tiring. Suffice to say my paper on sacramental theology as experienced in Christian initiation rites (aka the paper about baptism) will not be completed today.
On a positive note, I can now identify most of the funny clothes priests wear, including the pointy hat.
And yes, when I got the word "mitre", I wrote "pointy hat". Sorry, after five hours, I was getting a little punchy.
But all this is to say that I have two things to share. The first is that I got an email from the aforementioned group (in the title), asking me to promote them because I am "already on the front lines." Wow, I'm such a celebrity.
Since flattery gets you everywhere, I'm doing my part and posting the link to their site up there. Also, here is a letter that they want people to sign. I have not yet signed it. I am not sure I agree with absolutely everything in it, and I need to mull it over. Also, here is a link to a flash movie they've made about evil Republicans. Well I'm all about that. But my dumb sound on the computer randomly goes out, so I have to wait and watch it later. Let me know how it is. Do these people seem like wackos to you?
The Jacksonville Declaration:
http://www.christianalliance.org/declaration
Flash Movie – Sneak Peek:
http://www.christianalliance.org/becountedflash
OK, I promised two things, and the other is a special treat for ya'll, my dear buddies. I'm going to post something I wrote for my class' chapel presentation. It's on Wednesday, so if you're a Fuller person, just come to chapel and see it (reading it doesn't have the same effect as hearing it read). It's about life in seminary...but I think you'll get that.
The Journey
Characters:
The Postulant
Voices 1, 2, & 3
1, 2, 3: Sir, we wish to see Jesus.
The Postulant: Here I am, Lord. Send me. The Lord God has given me the tongue of a teacher, that I may know how to sustain the weary with a word. May it be done to me according to your Word.
(very quickly, on top of one another)
1: Theology
2: Anthropology
3: Christology
2: Sotierology
3: Ecclesiology
1: Eschatology
The Postulant: Credo
3: Spiritual Formation
1: Spiritual Disciplines
2: Spiritual Journey
3: Spirituality
The Postulant: Pursuit of wholeness
2: Community
3: Small groups
1: Servant leadership
2: Seeker sensitive
3: Authentic
1: Emergent
The Postulant: Praxis
2: Engaging culture
1: Exegeting culture
3: Electronic culture
1: Wired world
3: Post-Modern
2: Post-Evangelical
1: Post-Denominational
The Postulant: Spectacle
2: Consumerism
1: Theo-capitalism
3: Globalization
2: Imperialism
1: God’s politics
The Postulant: Justice
1: Missiology
3: Diversity
2: Sensitivity
3: Tolerance
1: Pluralism
The Postulant: Ecumenical
1: Youth
2: Marriage
3: Family
2: At-risk
1: Reconciliation
2: Healing
3: Recovery
The Postulant: Liberation
3: Patriarchy
2: Feminism
1: Maturity
2: Integration
3: Transformation
1, 2, 3: Discipleship.
The Postulant:
I have devoted my energies to the study of the scriptures,
Study, teaching, and writing have always been my delight.
I have acquired great wisdom, surpassing all who were before me;
And my mind has had great experience of wisdom and knowledge.
1: Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
3: Who determined its measurements – surely you know!
2: Are you able to drink the cup that I drink,
Or be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?
1, 2, 3: Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me?
The Postulant:
I am of small account; how shall I answer you?
I lay my hand on my mouth.
I applied my mind to seek and to search out by wisdom all that is done under heaven;
I perceive that this is but a chasing after the wind.
For in much wisdom is much vexation
And those who increase knowledge increase sorrow.
What must we do to do the works God requires?
2: The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.
1: These people draw near with their mouths
And honor God with their lips
While their hearts are far from him
I hate, I despise your festivals,
I take no delight in your solemn assemblies
Take away from me the noise of your songs!
3: But let justice roll down like waters,
And righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.
2: He has told you, O mortal, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justice,
and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God.
The Postulant:
Those who love their life lose it
Those who hate their life in this world
Will keep it for eternal life
2: Come unto me, all you who are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.
God has hidden these things from the wise and the intelligent and has revealed them to infants;
Do not occupy yourself with great matters,
Or with things that are too hard for you.
3: Too much learning is driving you insane!
The Postulant:
May God grant me to speak with judgment, and to have thoughts worthy of what I have received; for he is the guide even of wisdom and the corrector of the wise. For both we and our words are in his hand, as are all understanding and skill. For it is he who gave me unerring knowledge of what exists, I learned both what is secret and what is manifest, for wisdom, the fashioner of all things, taught me. There is in her a spirit that is intelligent, holy, unique, manifold, subtle, mobile, clear, unpolluted, distinct, invulnerable, loving the good, keen, irresistible.
1: If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples;
And you will know the truth,
And the truth will make you free.
3: Be transformed by the renewing of your mind
A man is a slave to whatever controls him
Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus.
2: As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you;
Abide in my love.
The Postulant:
The seed must die to bear much fruit.
Now this is eternal life…
3: (not merely a life that is eternal in duration, but primarily something different from the natural life of man)
The Postulant: …that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.
2: (know not just information or facts, but know from experiencing someone in relationship)
1: Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there will my servant be also.
Whoever serves me, the Father will honor.
The Postulant:
If we live, we live to the Lord
And if we die, we die to the Lord
So then, whether we live
Or whether we die
We are the Lord’s.
I just finished 5 hours of take home exam. Ugh, ugh, ugh. That was tiring. Suffice to say my paper on sacramental theology as experienced in Christian initiation rites (aka the paper about baptism) will not be completed today.
On a positive note, I can now identify most of the funny clothes priests wear, including the pointy hat.
And yes, when I got the word "mitre", I wrote "pointy hat". Sorry, after five hours, I was getting a little punchy.
But all this is to say that I have two things to share. The first is that I got an email from the aforementioned group (in the title), asking me to promote them because I am "already on the front lines." Wow, I'm such a celebrity.
Since flattery gets you everywhere, I'm doing my part and posting the link to their site up there. Also, here is a letter that they want people to sign. I have not yet signed it. I am not sure I agree with absolutely everything in it, and I need to mull it over. Also, here is a link to a flash movie they've made about evil Republicans. Well I'm all about that. But my dumb sound on the computer randomly goes out, so I have to wait and watch it later. Let me know how it is. Do these people seem like wackos to you?
The Jacksonville Declaration:
http://www.christianalliance.org/declaration
Flash Movie – Sneak Peek:
http://www.christianalliance.org/becountedflash
OK, I promised two things, and the other is a special treat for ya'll, my dear buddies. I'm going to post something I wrote for my class' chapel presentation. It's on Wednesday, so if you're a Fuller person, just come to chapel and see it (reading it doesn't have the same effect as hearing it read). It's about life in seminary...but I think you'll get that.
The Journey
Characters:
The Postulant
Voices 1, 2, & 3
1, 2, 3: Sir, we wish to see Jesus.
The Postulant: Here I am, Lord. Send me. The Lord God has given me the tongue of a teacher, that I may know how to sustain the weary with a word. May it be done to me according to your Word.
(very quickly, on top of one another)
1: Theology
2: Anthropology
3: Christology
2: Sotierology
3: Ecclesiology
1: Eschatology
The Postulant: Credo
3: Spiritual Formation
1: Spiritual Disciplines
2: Spiritual Journey
3: Spirituality
The Postulant: Pursuit of wholeness
2: Community
3: Small groups
1: Servant leadership
2: Seeker sensitive
3: Authentic
1: Emergent
The Postulant: Praxis
2: Engaging culture
1: Exegeting culture
3: Electronic culture
1: Wired world
3: Post-Modern
2: Post-Evangelical
1: Post-Denominational
The Postulant: Spectacle
2: Consumerism
1: Theo-capitalism
3: Globalization
2: Imperialism
1: God’s politics
The Postulant: Justice
1: Missiology
3: Diversity
2: Sensitivity
3: Tolerance
1: Pluralism
The Postulant: Ecumenical
1: Youth
2: Marriage
3: Family
2: At-risk
1: Reconciliation
2: Healing
3: Recovery
The Postulant: Liberation
3: Patriarchy
2: Feminism
1: Maturity
2: Integration
3: Transformation
1, 2, 3: Discipleship.
The Postulant:
I have devoted my energies to the study of the scriptures,
Study, teaching, and writing have always been my delight.
I have acquired great wisdom, surpassing all who were before me;
And my mind has had great experience of wisdom and knowledge.
1: Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
3: Who determined its measurements – surely you know!
2: Are you able to drink the cup that I drink,
Or be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?
1, 2, 3: Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me?
The Postulant:
I am of small account; how shall I answer you?
I lay my hand on my mouth.
I applied my mind to seek and to search out by wisdom all that is done under heaven;
I perceive that this is but a chasing after the wind.
For in much wisdom is much vexation
And those who increase knowledge increase sorrow.
What must we do to do the works God requires?
2: The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.
1: These people draw near with their mouths
And honor God with their lips
While their hearts are far from him
I hate, I despise your festivals,
I take no delight in your solemn assemblies
Take away from me the noise of your songs!
3: But let justice roll down like waters,
And righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.
2: He has told you, O mortal, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justice,
and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God.
The Postulant:
Those who love their life lose it
Those who hate their life in this world
Will keep it for eternal life
2: Come unto me, all you who are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.
God has hidden these things from the wise and the intelligent and has revealed them to infants;
Do not occupy yourself with great matters,
Or with things that are too hard for you.
3: Too much learning is driving you insane!
The Postulant:
May God grant me to speak with judgment, and to have thoughts worthy of what I have received; for he is the guide even of wisdom and the corrector of the wise. For both we and our words are in his hand, as are all understanding and skill. For it is he who gave me unerring knowledge of what exists, I learned both what is secret and what is manifest, for wisdom, the fashioner of all things, taught me. There is in her a spirit that is intelligent, holy, unique, manifold, subtle, mobile, clear, unpolluted, distinct, invulnerable, loving the good, keen, irresistible.
1: If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples;
And you will know the truth,
And the truth will make you free.
3: Be transformed by the renewing of your mind
A man is a slave to whatever controls him
Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus.
2: As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you;
Abide in my love.
The Postulant:
The seed must die to bear much fruit.
Now this is eternal life…
3: (not merely a life that is eternal in duration, but primarily something different from the natural life of man)
The Postulant: …that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.
2: (know not just information or facts, but know from experiencing someone in relationship)
1: Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there will my servant be also.
Whoever serves me, the Father will honor.
The Postulant:
If we live, we live to the Lord
And if we die, we die to the Lord
So then, whether we live
Or whether we die
We are the Lord’s.
Movies, movies, movies
Did you see it yet? I thought it was fine. I wasn't expecting fireworks, just a decent movie, which I got. It made me want to watch ep 4 again.
If you don't know what I'm talking about...well you will tomorrow when the weekend's takes are broadcast.
Yesterday we went to see Dominion, which is the Exorcist prequel directed by Calvin College alum (and writer of Last Temptation) Paul Schraeder. According to J, it was leaps and bounds better than the Renny Harlin version that came out a couple months ago (long ugly story behind this film). I didn't see that one.
Long story short, I enjoyed it quite a bit, because it was extremely theologically astute, and good/God wins in the end, which is so rare to see these days. It's not really a horror film, it's more like a 2-hour Jonathan Edwards sermon. :) Let me take the liberty of recommending it. Be warned: it's boring (the guy next to me snored loudly through it) and not unlike sitting through a lecture. But I'm always so fascinated when someone puts people of faith (or of shaky faith) on film and actually gets it right.
And then I came home and watched The Passion of Joan of Arc, which J thinks might be the best film of all time, and I might just agree with him. It was quite outstanding. It's a silent film from the 1920's, that was thought to be lost in a fire. A crappy version hobbled together from reshoots and 2nd takes was all that survived, and even that film was considered genius. Then they found an original Danish print in 1981 in a closet in a Norweigan mental institution. Miraculous story. And it's quite the work of art. Very wrenching, and what a portrayal of a saint!
OK, I am supposed to be writing a paper, so better go.
If you don't know what I'm talking about...well you will tomorrow when the weekend's takes are broadcast.
Yesterday we went to see Dominion, which is the Exorcist prequel directed by Calvin College alum (and writer of Last Temptation) Paul Schraeder. According to J, it was leaps and bounds better than the Renny Harlin version that came out a couple months ago (long ugly story behind this film). I didn't see that one.
Long story short, I enjoyed it quite a bit, because it was extremely theologically astute, and good/God wins in the end, which is so rare to see these days. It's not really a horror film, it's more like a 2-hour Jonathan Edwards sermon. :) Let me take the liberty of recommending it. Be warned: it's boring (the guy next to me snored loudly through it) and not unlike sitting through a lecture. But I'm always so fascinated when someone puts people of faith (or of shaky faith) on film and actually gets it right.
And then I came home and watched The Passion of Joan of Arc, which J thinks might be the best film of all time, and I might just agree with him. It was quite outstanding. It's a silent film from the 1920's, that was thought to be lost in a fire. A crappy version hobbled together from reshoots and 2nd takes was all that survived, and even that film was considered genius. Then they found an original Danish print in 1981 in a closet in a Norweigan mental institution. Miraculous story. And it's quite the work of art. Very wrenching, and what a portrayal of a saint!
OK, I am supposed to be writing a paper, so better go.
Friday, May 20, 2005
Are we at all surprised?
So now it turns out that the reason I've heard nothing about this internship is because they can't decide what to do with me. They don't know if I would fit with their team. I'm liturgical, I'm well-trained and studied in theology of worship, and I'm really passionate. These are all things unique to me within this potential group of worship leaders.
I'm like some sort of pariah in the evangelical world. The things I hold dear are so terrifying. And the fact that I speak out about them, and don't allow people to settle, really bothers some. It really invigorates others. I want to do more of the latter, and find a way to love those in the former group.
I don't want to betray myself, but I can be more diplomatic in my approach. I hope that I have the opportunity to show that I can work well with these people, even if I am the odd woman out.
Most of all, I have what I feel is this great big gift that I'm dying to give to the seminary, if only they'll just accept it from me. But are they ready to go where I want to - where God could - take them?
We must be patient. Wait and see.
I'm like some sort of pariah in the evangelical world. The things I hold dear are so terrifying. And the fact that I speak out about them, and don't allow people to settle, really bothers some. It really invigorates others. I want to do more of the latter, and find a way to love those in the former group.
I don't want to betray myself, but I can be more diplomatic in my approach. I hope that I have the opportunity to show that I can work well with these people, even if I am the odd woman out.
Most of all, I have what I feel is this great big gift that I'm dying to give to the seminary, if only they'll just accept it from me. But are they ready to go where I want to - where God could - take them?
We must be patient. Wait and see.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Baaaaa, baaaaa
The Feminarian is sheepish.
Turns out they've contacted no one yet about the internship.
Not getting the hopes back up, but my hissy fit yesterday was a little premature.
Hey, at least I can just repost it when the time comes!
Turns out they've contacted no one yet about the internship.
Not getting the hopes back up, but my hissy fit yesterday was a little premature.
Hey, at least I can just repost it when the time comes!
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Femmy hangs her head
I am so fucking depressed right now. I'm not getting this chapel internship and I wanted it so bad. It would have been such an outstanding way to practice my work. What I think is my Kingdom work, which is putting together liturgy. It was to be on a team that planned every chapel for the year. I wanted it so much, I tried so hard, I prayed so hard. It seemed perfect. It seemed created just for me.
But I had so many big ideas, and I think I scared them. Or they just thought I was nuts. Anyway, I didn't get it. Obviously it wasn't created just for me. I feel like I'm too Anglican for them. Or maybe I just care too much about worship. It's threatening to have someone come in who believes wholeheartedly in the way her church does things. That's not going to work for chapel at a seminary with 100 denominations represented.
It's true, it is not. I was not right for it. I've also heard that priority was given to those graduating, and to people who already were involved with chapel. Both of which make sense.
But I would have done such a good job, and I cared so much! My heart and soul were really in it. Ugh. I've spent most of the day holding back tears. Which couldn't be held back during the Eucharist I attended this morning. *sigh*
Did you know that today is St. Dunstan's day, a guy who would make a great patron saint of Fuller's Brehm Center for Worship, Theology and the Arts. He was an artist and a scholar and a musician. Really cool guy.
Now I am in class and today the mime is speaking. Heh, heh, that's kind of a funny sentence. Can it get any worse?
No, I can’t be upset about the mime; in fact, he's an outstanding teacher. He's more interesting than just about anyone and he's damn inspirational, especially when talking about the arts in worship.
But today his talk about everyone's gifting being used and made manifest is just reminding me how this door to my gift has been slammed in my face.
I'm seriously self-indulging right now. I need to stop. I'm going to listen to the mime now.
O God of truth and beauty, you richly endowed your bishop Dunstan with skill in music and the working of metals, and with gifts of administration and reforming zeal: Teach us, we pray, to see in you the source of all our talents, and move us to offer them for the adornment of worship and the advancement of true religion; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
But I had so many big ideas, and I think I scared them. Or they just thought I was nuts. Anyway, I didn't get it. Obviously it wasn't created just for me. I feel like I'm too Anglican for them. Or maybe I just care too much about worship. It's threatening to have someone come in who believes wholeheartedly in the way her church does things. That's not going to work for chapel at a seminary with 100 denominations represented.
It's true, it is not. I was not right for it. I've also heard that priority was given to those graduating, and to people who already were involved with chapel. Both of which make sense.
But I would have done such a good job, and I cared so much! My heart and soul were really in it. Ugh. I've spent most of the day holding back tears. Which couldn't be held back during the Eucharist I attended this morning. *sigh*
Did you know that today is St. Dunstan's day, a guy who would make a great patron saint of Fuller's Brehm Center for Worship, Theology and the Arts. He was an artist and a scholar and a musician. Really cool guy.
Now I am in class and today the mime is speaking. Heh, heh, that's kind of a funny sentence. Can it get any worse?
No, I can’t be upset about the mime; in fact, he's an outstanding teacher. He's more interesting than just about anyone and he's damn inspirational, especially when talking about the arts in worship.
But today his talk about everyone's gifting being used and made manifest is just reminding me how this door to my gift has been slammed in my face.
I'm seriously self-indulging right now. I need to stop. I'm going to listen to the mime now.
O God of truth and beauty, you richly endowed your bishop Dunstan with skill in music and the working of metals, and with gifts of administration and reforming zeal: Teach us, we pray, to see in you the source of all our talents, and move us to offer them for the adornment of worship and the advancement of true religion; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
Monday, May 16, 2005
Why Fuller...
Someone suggested that my recent problems with my peers was due to the fact that I've decided not to attend an Episcopal seminary. And it's true that there are a lot of things I'd get from Episcopal Seminary. But it's also true that the people at Fuller with whom I'm disagreeing are the Episcopalians. With others, we can at least see one another's point of view, even when we disagree. In fact, I get into much livelier debates with non-Episcopalians. The people from my denomination tend to roll their eyes at me or just tell me I'm wrong or just assume I'm too young to know whereof I speak.
All of which could be true. But that's another story.
Mainly I wanted to say that after my class on Thursday, a person I'd never spoken to walked up to me and asked if we could meet for lunch or coffee, simply to chat about my viewpoint. He is Pentecostal and simply had never heard ideas like those that I spout. Also, he confessed that he didn't like his gut reactions to words like "liturgy" (must be dead, dull). Since I'm obviously obssessed and in love with my church, he wanted to find out how to reconcile that with what he's always thought about high church.
And that, my friends, is why I am at Fuller. Not only because I want to learn from others who have insights I never would have thought of, but also because I'm secretly an Anglican spy who's sent there to bring others over to "our side." So far, it's working quite well.
What's my counter-mission?
All of which could be true. But that's another story.
Mainly I wanted to say that after my class on Thursday, a person I'd never spoken to walked up to me and asked if we could meet for lunch or coffee, simply to chat about my viewpoint. He is Pentecostal and simply had never heard ideas like those that I spout. Also, he confessed that he didn't like his gut reactions to words like "liturgy" (must be dead, dull). Since I'm obviously obssessed and in love with my church, he wanted to find out how to reconcile that with what he's always thought about high church.
And that, my friends, is why I am at Fuller. Not only because I want to learn from others who have insights I never would have thought of, but also because I'm secretly an Anglican spy who's sent there to bring others over to "our side." So far, it's working quite well.
What's my counter-mission?
Friday, May 13, 2005
Publishing
OK, I've decided to get serious about trying to publish my "Revelation". Anyone who's seen it has told me to, and most people I describe it to tell me to, and after the last reading several people told me they wanted it for their church. So I figure there might be interest.
I would think it would be the kind of thing that Emergent churches would like to do. Actually it's good for any church - the emergent and mainline snobs can enjoy it as a unique work of art, and the crazy fundamentalists can read it as part of prophecy conference. It's a win-win! Maybe I should be contacting the Left Behind juggernaut about this...
At any rate, I'm posting this b/c I thought someone who reads might have an idea of who I could strategically submit to. I don't want to waste my or publishers' time. And maybe nobody wants it. But it seems like this crazy end-times stuff just keeps getting more popular. So why not ride the bandwagon?
In all seriousness, I care a lot about my little play, a lot of work went into it, and a lot of good theology informed it. It's my secret weapon against the fundamentalists....maybe when they hear it artistically they'll realize it's full of metaphors....
Anyway, if anyone has any thoughts, I am all ears. And in case I haven't described it before on here, it's a Readers Theater of the entire book of Revelation. It has 7 cast members who pretty much read equal amounts of time (John, the narrator, a little more than the others). It is exactly from Scripture (NRSV) with nothing changed, added, or deleted. It takes about 1.5 hours to read, and believe it or not, it's pretty engaging - the time goes quickly.
I think even non-Christians can appreciate it because it's primarily presented as a work of poetry. It can be really simple with just the readers on stools, or it could be dramatized with dancers, mimes (!), video/slides, etc. Maybe I should tell the mastermime about it.
If you've seen it, help me out! What else to say? Do you think there's an audience for it?
I would think it would be the kind of thing that Emergent churches would like to do. Actually it's good for any church - the emergent and mainline snobs can enjoy it as a unique work of art, and the crazy fundamentalists can read it as part of prophecy conference. It's a win-win! Maybe I should be contacting the Left Behind juggernaut about this...
At any rate, I'm posting this b/c I thought someone who reads might have an idea of who I could strategically submit to. I don't want to waste my or publishers' time. And maybe nobody wants it. But it seems like this crazy end-times stuff just keeps getting more popular. So why not ride the bandwagon?
In all seriousness, I care a lot about my little play, a lot of work went into it, and a lot of good theology informed it. It's my secret weapon against the fundamentalists....maybe when they hear it artistically they'll realize it's full of metaphors....
Anyway, if anyone has any thoughts, I am all ears. And in case I haven't described it before on here, it's a Readers Theater of the entire book of Revelation. It has 7 cast members who pretty much read equal amounts of time (John, the narrator, a little more than the others). It is exactly from Scripture (NRSV) with nothing changed, added, or deleted. It takes about 1.5 hours to read, and believe it or not, it's pretty engaging - the time goes quickly.
I think even non-Christians can appreciate it because it's primarily presented as a work of poetry. It can be really simple with just the readers on stools, or it could be dramatized with dancers, mimes (!), video/slides, etc. Maybe I should tell the mastermime about it.
If you've seen it, help me out! What else to say? Do you think there's an audience for it?
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Expectations
Here is something that I did not expect: I have more trouble agreeing with my fellow Episcopalians on campus than with those of different denominations. J keeps telling me I should have known, because what kind of Episcopalian would go to Fuller except an Evangelical one? (well there is me, but he seems to consider me the major exception to the rule, and I think he's right)
We actually had an argument in the Episcopal polity class about baptism! I mean, I'm sitting a few hours earlier in my baptism practicum and everybody is completely respecting everyone else - I am sitting there in a group from different mainline churches, and we all can come to perfect agreement on infant baptism, and even though they may not see baptism as doing what I see it doing, they think my way is "cool."
Then I go to the Episcopal class and these people don't understand infant baptism at all. I had to convince (which I didn't do at all) the people who were supposed to already agree! I was blown away. I mean, I had heard that this was still an issue, but do you know there are churches around here that will let you completely redo your baptism (though they call it anamnesis or "remembrance") as an adult?? How unbiblical to validate the mistaken belief that one's infant baptism somehow didn't count.
But the makeup of this group belies many prejudices. One person attends St. James Newport Beach, which is one of the churches now under the Anglican Province of Uganda (so he's not Episcopalian at all), one attends St. Lukes in La Crescenta, which belongs to the same organization as the splitters but they didn't split, and one has spent the last 10 years as "post-denominational" (bascially Evangelical) before God led her to the Episcopal church.
There there are three of us who are relatively new Episcopalians and are completely embracing that.
The thing I sense in all of these others is that they are somehow ashamed of who we are. I attended a service at St. Luke's and it was simply not Episcopal. We just didn't do anything any differently from the high church Presbyterian I used to attend. And I thought, where is my liturgy? My beautiful liturgy, the reason I love my church? And I also thought: huh, praise band and movie screens.
Yet I think the latter could be done effectively in the Episcopal Church (though I personally find them unnecessary and distracting). The thing that bothered me was throwing out the liturgy. Cancelling the epistle reading, our responsive statements, the corporate intercessions, even the greeting (which was "Good Evening" instead of "The Lord Be With You").
See we don't have to change who we are to attract people. I've been to several other Episcopal churches that are owning their identity and their gifts. They are not empty. This other service was empty.
The whole thing is just so frustrating. Now I am encountering the difficulty of being who I am at this seminary. And it's just so surprising that the troubles - the weirdness and the closedmindedness - are coming from my fellow Episcopalians. Days like these, I wish I were at Episcopal Seminary. No, actually, I wish I were at Fuller and was the only Episcopalian there. Sometimes that would be easier.
We actually had an argument in the Episcopal polity class about baptism! I mean, I'm sitting a few hours earlier in my baptism practicum and everybody is completely respecting everyone else - I am sitting there in a group from different mainline churches, and we all can come to perfect agreement on infant baptism, and even though they may not see baptism as doing what I see it doing, they think my way is "cool."
Then I go to the Episcopal class and these people don't understand infant baptism at all. I had to convince (which I didn't do at all) the people who were supposed to already agree! I was blown away. I mean, I had heard that this was still an issue, but do you know there are churches around here that will let you completely redo your baptism (though they call it anamnesis or "remembrance") as an adult?? How unbiblical to validate the mistaken belief that one's infant baptism somehow didn't count.
But the makeup of this group belies many prejudices. One person attends St. James Newport Beach, which is one of the churches now under the Anglican Province of Uganda (so he's not Episcopalian at all), one attends St. Lukes in La Crescenta, which belongs to the same organization as the splitters but they didn't split, and one has spent the last 10 years as "post-denominational" (bascially Evangelical) before God led her to the Episcopal church.
There there are three of us who are relatively new Episcopalians and are completely embracing that.
The thing I sense in all of these others is that they are somehow ashamed of who we are. I attended a service at St. Luke's and it was simply not Episcopal. We just didn't do anything any differently from the high church Presbyterian I used to attend. And I thought, where is my liturgy? My beautiful liturgy, the reason I love my church? And I also thought: huh, praise band and movie screens.
Yet I think the latter could be done effectively in the Episcopal Church (though I personally find them unnecessary and distracting). The thing that bothered me was throwing out the liturgy. Cancelling the epistle reading, our responsive statements, the corporate intercessions, even the greeting (which was "Good Evening" instead of "The Lord Be With You").
See we don't have to change who we are to attract people. I've been to several other Episcopal churches that are owning their identity and their gifts. They are not empty. This other service was empty.
The whole thing is just so frustrating. Now I am encountering the difficulty of being who I am at this seminary. And it's just so surprising that the troubles - the weirdness and the closedmindedness - are coming from my fellow Episcopalians. Days like these, I wish I were at Episcopal Seminary. No, actually, I wish I were at Fuller and was the only Episcopalian there. Sometimes that would be easier.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Sacramental Theology
“For straightaway after they come up from the waters, they are led to the awesome table...where they taste of the Master's body and blood, and become a dwelling place for the Holy Spirit. Since they have put on Christ himself, wherever they go they are like angels on earth, rivalling the brilliance of the rays of the sun.”
John Chrysostom, from a catechetical address delivered at Antioch during Lent c. 390 AD
Sorry I've been MIA for a few days, I've got a ton of papers to write. Writing a baptism rite (annotated) for my worship practicum, which will probably be my jumping-off point to writing a paper on sacramental theology for Episcopal polity. I'm really into this whole thing. It's such a different way from how I was raised. J says it's a different religion. It's definitely a very different way of understanding the Church and the definition of Christian.
“The difference between infant Baptism and believers' Baptism is easily exaggerated. Although in the latter the candidate can declare his faith, it may or may not reflect a true commitment. Far more important is the response of faith of the Church into which one is sacramentally incorporated by Baptism. This is true both for an adult and for an infant.”
Prayer Book Studies
It's about what the Church does. Actually, it's first about what God does, then about the Church's response. It's not really at all about the candidate doing anything.
So little of God's work in us and in the Church is about what we do. It serves us well to remember that.
But I must go write papers. That is the work I must do.
John Chrysostom, from a catechetical address delivered at Antioch during Lent c. 390 AD
Sorry I've been MIA for a few days, I've got a ton of papers to write. Writing a baptism rite (annotated) for my worship practicum, which will probably be my jumping-off point to writing a paper on sacramental theology for Episcopal polity. I'm really into this whole thing. It's such a different way from how I was raised. J says it's a different religion. It's definitely a very different way of understanding the Church and the definition of Christian.
“The difference between infant Baptism and believers' Baptism is easily exaggerated. Although in the latter the candidate can declare his faith, it may or may not reflect a true commitment. Far more important is the response of faith of the Church into which one is sacramentally incorporated by Baptism. This is true both for an adult and for an infant.”
Prayer Book Studies
It's about what the Church does. Actually, it's first about what God does, then about the Church's response. It's not really at all about the candidate doing anything.
So little of God's work in us and in the Church is about what we do. It serves us well to remember that.
But I must go write papers. That is the work I must do.
Friday, May 06, 2005
A Word from Brother Roger of Taize
FROM ONE BEGINNING TO ANOTHER
Brother Roger
If, at each dawn, we were able to welcome the new day like a beginning of a new life... As the psalmist says, “Whoever advances toward God goes from one beginning to another.”
Do we realize that God buries our past in the heart of Christ, and is going to take care of our future? Were it possible to fathom our human heart, the surprising thing would be to discover there the longing, short-lived or long-lasting, for an invisible presence.
Although there may well be shocks and even upheavals in our lives, the Risen Christ is there. If Jesus had not lived among us, God would seem far away, unattainable. But, by his birth and his life on earth, Jesus let who God was shine through. God’s trust in human beings was so great that he hoped they would recognize him in a newborn baby and in a crucified man.
And if Christ were not risen, he would not be present today alongside us. He would remain one exceptional individual among others in the history of humanity. But it would not be possible to converse with him in prayer. He could not say to us, “When you are going through the harshest trials, I am present underneath your despair. And remember: I am also in the depths of your radiant hopes.” Christ does not only wait for us in light, in peace, in joy. He is also present in the distress of those who grope along to find a way out.
There can be moments when things look dark. But such obscurity is not pitch-darkness. It is not the dead of night. The light of Christ still penetrates it. Chase away fleeting troubles like a child blowing on a fallen leaf. Don’t cling to worries like a hand clutching the branch of a thorn bush; let go instead. Surrender to Christ whatever assails your heart.
Of course there are trials in every life; they can be very hard to bear. Peace of heart is as deep as the sea. Sometimes we may be agitated, like the sea when it is stirred up by a gust of wind. But this disturbance only affects the surface. Silent happiness, peace, remain close by and are so much greater. One of the things Christians are called to do is to welcome the joy of Easter, born at the heart of the seemingly greatest failure, the cross, and to be bearers of that joy.
With a simple heart, almost a child’s soul, happy are they who say to Christ: Risen Christ, you see who I am. And you welcome me with what I am. My thirsting heart asks you: Christ Jesus, unify my desire and my thirst.
When we pray, even if our lips remain closed, our heart can be open before God. God’s voice makes itself understood - an inner voice, steeped in silence. We are awakened above all in prayer.
Even if we have very little faith, will we say to Christ: what do you expect of me? May we always remember this: the wellsprings of jubilation will never run dry when a heart that trusts goes from one beginning to another.
Brother Roger
If, at each dawn, we were able to welcome the new day like a beginning of a new life... As the psalmist says, “Whoever advances toward God goes from one beginning to another.”
Do we realize that God buries our past in the heart of Christ, and is going to take care of our future? Were it possible to fathom our human heart, the surprising thing would be to discover there the longing, short-lived or long-lasting, for an invisible presence.
Although there may well be shocks and even upheavals in our lives, the Risen Christ is there. If Jesus had not lived among us, God would seem far away, unattainable. But, by his birth and his life on earth, Jesus let who God was shine through. God’s trust in human beings was so great that he hoped they would recognize him in a newborn baby and in a crucified man.
And if Christ were not risen, he would not be present today alongside us. He would remain one exceptional individual among others in the history of humanity. But it would not be possible to converse with him in prayer. He could not say to us, “When you are going through the harshest trials, I am present underneath your despair. And remember: I am also in the depths of your radiant hopes.” Christ does not only wait for us in light, in peace, in joy. He is also present in the distress of those who grope along to find a way out.
There can be moments when things look dark. But such obscurity is not pitch-darkness. It is not the dead of night. The light of Christ still penetrates it. Chase away fleeting troubles like a child blowing on a fallen leaf. Don’t cling to worries like a hand clutching the branch of a thorn bush; let go instead. Surrender to Christ whatever assails your heart.
Of course there are trials in every life; they can be very hard to bear. Peace of heart is as deep as the sea. Sometimes we may be agitated, like the sea when it is stirred up by a gust of wind. But this disturbance only affects the surface. Silent happiness, peace, remain close by and are so much greater. One of the things Christians are called to do is to welcome the joy of Easter, born at the heart of the seemingly greatest failure, the cross, and to be bearers of that joy.
With a simple heart, almost a child’s soul, happy are they who say to Christ: Risen Christ, you see who I am. And you welcome me with what I am. My thirsting heart asks you: Christ Jesus, unify my desire and my thirst.
When we pray, even if our lips remain closed, our heart can be open before God. God’s voice makes itself understood - an inner voice, steeped in silence. We are awakened above all in prayer.
Even if we have very little faith, will we say to Christ: what do you expect of me? May we always remember this: the wellsprings of jubilation will never run dry when a heart that trusts goes from one beginning to another.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Theological Custody of Worship
This is a response to "Liturgy in the Age of Certainty" By Frank C. Senn [From Christian Liturgy: Catholic and Evangelical. Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg Fortress, 1997. pp. 483-525.]
“Liturgy in the age of certainty served as a confessional symbol.” “The idea of worship as primary theology or living dogma.” “Patterns and acts of worship both express and form the beliefs of the worshipers.” “A lesson from this 'age of certainty' is the need for a theological custody of worship.”
What have I been saying all along?
We draw our theology, our ethics, our discipleship, our worldview – from our worship. Liturgist James White goes so far as to call Sacraments the “Third Testament.”[1] If you ask an Orthodox Christian what they believe about a theological point, they will read to you from their liturgy. They can’t explain it – they simply must do it (this doesn’t sound too different from the statements of artists).
People do not realize – because they have not been taught – how much they are formed by their worship. And if their worship is aesthetically poor, theologically lacking, historically ungrounded, or irresponsibly executed, then they find their faith shallow and meaningless.
This is why we must take our liturgy seriously; we must educate our congregations. Worship will shape them whether we like it or not, because in worship, particularly in the sacraments, God moves. And a person cannot encounter the living God without being changed.
Oh, God, let your Church take greater care of their liturgy! Our “theological custody of worship” is a sacred and holy duty. Forgive us for using the sacred rituals of your self-giving to further our own divisions and nurse our pride. Give us a humble spirit when approaching the hallowed ground where we commune with you. Let us strive to find each our own language, which allows us to get out of the way and through our liturgy accept the magnificent self-gifts you desire to give us. Amen.
[1] White, James F. Introduction to Christian Worship 3 ed. (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 2000), 197.
“Liturgy in the age of certainty served as a confessional symbol.” “The idea of worship as primary theology or living dogma.” “Patterns and acts of worship both express and form the beliefs of the worshipers.” “A lesson from this 'age of certainty' is the need for a theological custody of worship.”
What have I been saying all along?
We draw our theology, our ethics, our discipleship, our worldview – from our worship. Liturgist James White goes so far as to call Sacraments the “Third Testament.”[1] If you ask an Orthodox Christian what they believe about a theological point, they will read to you from their liturgy. They can’t explain it – they simply must do it (this doesn’t sound too different from the statements of artists).
People do not realize – because they have not been taught – how much they are formed by their worship. And if their worship is aesthetically poor, theologically lacking, historically ungrounded, or irresponsibly executed, then they find their faith shallow and meaningless.
This is why we must take our liturgy seriously; we must educate our congregations. Worship will shape them whether we like it or not, because in worship, particularly in the sacraments, God moves. And a person cannot encounter the living God without being changed.
Oh, God, let your Church take greater care of their liturgy! Our “theological custody of worship” is a sacred and holy duty. Forgive us for using the sacred rituals of your self-giving to further our own divisions and nurse our pride. Give us a humble spirit when approaching the hallowed ground where we commune with you. Let us strive to find each our own language, which allows us to get out of the way and through our liturgy accept the magnificent self-gifts you desire to give us. Amen.
[1] White, James F. Introduction to Christian Worship 3 ed. (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 2000), 197.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
It's a big day
Today I turn 30.
I kicked off 30 by sleeping. A lot. I plan to eat cake for breakfast, go get a Coffee Bean beverage, have lunch with my favorite professor, then maybe sushi for dinner. And more cake.
Today the sun in shining in South Pasadena, although it's hazy enough that I can't see the mountains. There is a funny little squirrel who likes to climb the trees right outside the office window and tease my cats. The mornings here are quiet, except for the parrots, whose screeches echo throughout our little town.
J threw me a wonderful dinner with several close friends on Saturday, then we came home to more friends and cake and balloons and champagne. It's the birthday so big it needs an after-party.
And today is mellow - have to go to classes, and do some homework. Probably won't have any celebration at work, for the first time in five years. They even threw me a party when I was a temp. But now there is really nobody to take charge of such an event so I won't have one, and that's really fine, except that I do miss my work friends.
Anyway, like I said, I'm mellow and very stream-of-consciousness. Maybe I'll go to Episcopal chapel at 10. I really enjoy it. Last week we did Rite I and for the first time in years the liturgy made me cry. I actually heard the words again, since I had to pay attention. They are beautiful. I can see why people had trouble letting them go.
It's a good day. I am glad that at this important birthday I am pursuing what I feel is my vocation. I'm not in a dead-end job and I'm not doing really anything I don't enjoy. I get to work on my passion most days and what a privilege that is! I love where I live. I am married to someone who keeps me sweet, who is my best friend, and who challenges me beyond belief. I have a little cat sitting on my hands as I type, with her front paws on my shoulder and her head nuzzling my chin. There's another pouting in the living room because she can't go outside.
I am truly blessed. It gives some pause to think about entering a fourth decade of life...but at least I've taken charge. I'm doing something worth doing for four more decades. That is good.
I kicked off 30 by sleeping. A lot. I plan to eat cake for breakfast, go get a Coffee Bean beverage, have lunch with my favorite professor, then maybe sushi for dinner. And more cake.
Today the sun in shining in South Pasadena, although it's hazy enough that I can't see the mountains. There is a funny little squirrel who likes to climb the trees right outside the office window and tease my cats. The mornings here are quiet, except for the parrots, whose screeches echo throughout our little town.
J threw me a wonderful dinner with several close friends on Saturday, then we came home to more friends and cake and balloons and champagne. It's the birthday so big it needs an after-party.
And today is mellow - have to go to classes, and do some homework. Probably won't have any celebration at work, for the first time in five years. They even threw me a party when I was a temp. But now there is really nobody to take charge of such an event so I won't have one, and that's really fine, except that I do miss my work friends.
Anyway, like I said, I'm mellow and very stream-of-consciousness. Maybe I'll go to Episcopal chapel at 10. I really enjoy it. Last week we did Rite I and for the first time in years the liturgy made me cry. I actually heard the words again, since I had to pay attention. They are beautiful. I can see why people had trouble letting them go.
It's a good day. I am glad that at this important birthday I am pursuing what I feel is my vocation. I'm not in a dead-end job and I'm not doing really anything I don't enjoy. I get to work on my passion most days and what a privilege that is! I love where I live. I am married to someone who keeps me sweet, who is my best friend, and who challenges me beyond belief. I have a little cat sitting on my hands as I type, with her front paws on my shoulder and her head nuzzling my chin. There's another pouting in the living room because she can't go outside.
I am truly blessed. It gives some pause to think about entering a fourth decade of life...but at least I've taken charge. I'm doing something worth doing for four more decades. That is good.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Outsider Perspectives
My friend who is a self-professed agnostic went to Mosaic a couple of times. He also visited another emergent church in LA called Tribe. He had an interesting perspective. He said that he didn't think either of the churches were for him (an "unbeliever") at all. They were, he said, for people who already were Christians but who wanted to do church in a way that made them feel creative, artistic, hip, and cool. From the outside, he nailed it - and the novelty didn't work on him because it was not for him.
I also must quote his best line of the night. When he asked how big Tribe was a few years ago, someone said 30 people, and when he asked out big now, someone said about 30 people. And he said: "Gee, it's not emerging very fast then, is it?"
Now I know, it's not about numbers - that's the last thing I care about when evaluating the church. But he wisely noted that if this were indeed something truly of God, wouldn't it be getting more popular? Wouldn't it be growing a little bit? Wouldn't it be emerging?
This morning I visited the most Spirit-filled little church. It is St. Barnabas in north Pasadena. It is a teeny weeny place with an older, mostly African-American congregation. You never know how these things may go. There was canned music playing when we arrived (almost first since we had the service time wrong), but it was very pretty. The first thing we noticed (and J cheered) was that the bulletin directed us to the hymnal and prayer book (instead of having everything laid out).
Just before we went to church, J was commenting to me that he likes using the prayer book most of all, more than a bulletin, more than projected liturgy, because in a book the liturgy is permanent. It has gravity, and it means something more to us because we have laid it down in this way. When liturgy flashes on a screen, it is gone in a moment, and (besides the computer program) there's no record of it having been there at all. A bulletin can be crumpled and thrown out. But a book - we respect books. We respect material enough to put it in books. We build libraries to hold books, and we pay money to purchase them, even though we could get them for free. Reading the liturgy out of a book means a lot. We should not neglect this, even in the face of our electronic culture.
But back to the service. A woman behind me touched my shoulder and greeted me, and I began to melt. Everyone seemed genuinely pleased to be there and so happy to see one another.
It began with the usual processional but something interesting happened--this tiny little place filled with organ and singing. Three choir members led us, but the congregation sang with gusto. They were older folks and several moved a bit slowly, but they were sincere and they were great singers. The rector is a warm, charismatic young man, who shares the heritage of the majority of those in his church. He led us into worship with a big smile and booming voice, and the congregation responded heartily. The readers helped illuminate the scripture. My eyes were wet when I heard the Gospel reading (fellow seminarians: when was the last time just hearing the words of Jesus made you cry?). The sermon was eloquent, given by one of my professors, and the rector referred to it repeatedly for the rest of the service, tying things together nicely.
We got to sing a lot in this service. The rector frequently led us in spontaneous worship: prayers of thanksgiving, adoration, and intercession. He gave many opportunities for "the body" (as he called us) to speak - prayer requests, announcements. It drew us together. I felt part of this body even though I knew no one. The passing of the peace was outstanding - it was small enough that everybody greeted everybody, and I got hugs and kisses...holy hugs and kisses.
Sharing the body and blood (they rang the bell for each!) was a family event. People were helped up to the altar, the priest called people by name when sharing the elements. We sang some more together. Rev. Anthony was as comfortable and meaningful when speaking the collect for purity as when talking about spiritual warfare. He simply lived and moved in God, in God's space. And the people there were God's family. They shared something intimate and deep with one another. It was a privilege.
Following the service we were invited to stay for sandwiches, which we did, and we spoke to the people. They were hospitable and loving. No matter what age, color, or gender, they served the stranger in their midst and they shared themselves sacrificially. We had to go too soon. They were starting to have a time of prayer through the Scriptures. It had been two hours and it had flown by.
I realized at the end that I'd had a smile on my face for this entire service. It was holy. It was full of God's spirit. It was so warm. It wasn't perfect, certainly, and there were probably things I could nitpick or have been distracted by. But God was there. God was communicating with me as I'd begged him to prior to the service starting. And it was all so real. People love to throw around this buzzword "authentic" - but this was the real deal. It was this church offering exactly what and who it was to God, with no apologies and the best it could do.
And God said that it was Good.
I also must quote his best line of the night. When he asked how big Tribe was a few years ago, someone said 30 people, and when he asked out big now, someone said about 30 people. And he said: "Gee, it's not emerging very fast then, is it?"
Now I know, it's not about numbers - that's the last thing I care about when evaluating the church. But he wisely noted that if this were indeed something truly of God, wouldn't it be getting more popular? Wouldn't it be growing a little bit? Wouldn't it be emerging?
This morning I visited the most Spirit-filled little church. It is St. Barnabas in north Pasadena. It is a teeny weeny place with an older, mostly African-American congregation. You never know how these things may go. There was canned music playing when we arrived (almost first since we had the service time wrong), but it was very pretty. The first thing we noticed (and J cheered) was that the bulletin directed us to the hymnal and prayer book (instead of having everything laid out).
Just before we went to church, J was commenting to me that he likes using the prayer book most of all, more than a bulletin, more than projected liturgy, because in a book the liturgy is permanent. It has gravity, and it means something more to us because we have laid it down in this way. When liturgy flashes on a screen, it is gone in a moment, and (besides the computer program) there's no record of it having been there at all. A bulletin can be crumpled and thrown out. But a book - we respect books. We respect material enough to put it in books. We build libraries to hold books, and we pay money to purchase them, even though we could get them for free. Reading the liturgy out of a book means a lot. We should not neglect this, even in the face of our electronic culture.
But back to the service. A woman behind me touched my shoulder and greeted me, and I began to melt. Everyone seemed genuinely pleased to be there and so happy to see one another.
It began with the usual processional but something interesting happened--this tiny little place filled with organ and singing. Three choir members led us, but the congregation sang with gusto. They were older folks and several moved a bit slowly, but they were sincere and they were great singers. The rector is a warm, charismatic young man, who shares the heritage of the majority of those in his church. He led us into worship with a big smile and booming voice, and the congregation responded heartily. The readers helped illuminate the scripture. My eyes were wet when I heard the Gospel reading (fellow seminarians: when was the last time just hearing the words of Jesus made you cry?). The sermon was eloquent, given by one of my professors, and the rector referred to it repeatedly for the rest of the service, tying things together nicely.
We got to sing a lot in this service. The rector frequently led us in spontaneous worship: prayers of thanksgiving, adoration, and intercession. He gave many opportunities for "the body" (as he called us) to speak - prayer requests, announcements. It drew us together. I felt part of this body even though I knew no one. The passing of the peace was outstanding - it was small enough that everybody greeted everybody, and I got hugs and kisses...holy hugs and kisses.
Sharing the body and blood (they rang the bell for each!) was a family event. People were helped up to the altar, the priest called people by name when sharing the elements. We sang some more together. Rev. Anthony was as comfortable and meaningful when speaking the collect for purity as when talking about spiritual warfare. He simply lived and moved in God, in God's space. And the people there were God's family. They shared something intimate and deep with one another. It was a privilege.
Following the service we were invited to stay for sandwiches, which we did, and we spoke to the people. They were hospitable and loving. No matter what age, color, or gender, they served the stranger in their midst and they shared themselves sacrificially. We had to go too soon. They were starting to have a time of prayer through the Scriptures. It had been two hours and it had flown by.
I realized at the end that I'd had a smile on my face for this entire service. It was holy. It was full of God's spirit. It was so warm. It wasn't perfect, certainly, and there were probably things I could nitpick or have been distracted by. But God was there. God was communicating with me as I'd begged him to prior to the service starting. And it was all so real. People love to throw around this buzzword "authentic" - but this was the real deal. It was this church offering exactly what and who it was to God, with no apologies and the best it could do.
And God said that it was Good.
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