Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Top Ten Reasons Why Men Should Not Be Ordained

10. A man's place is in the army.

9. For men who have children, their duties might distract them from the responsibilities of being a parent.

8. Their physical build indicates that men are more suited to tasks such as chopping down trees and wrestling mountain lions. It would be "unnatural" for them to do other forms of work.

7. Man was created before woman. It is therefore obvious that man was a prototype. Thus, they represent an experiment, rather than the crowning achievment of creation.

6. Men are too emotional to be priests or pastors. This is easily demonstrated by their conduct at football games and watching basketball tournaments.

5. Some men are handsome; they will distract women worshipers.

4. To be ordained pastor is to nurture the congregation. But this is not a traditional male role. Rather, throughout history, women have been considered to be not only more skilled than men at nurturing, but also more frequently attracted to it. This makes them the obvious choice for ordination.

3. Men are overly prone to violence. No really manly man wants to settle disputes by any means other than by fighting about it. Thus, they would be poor role models, as well as being dangerously unstable in positions of leadership.

2. Men can still be involved in church activities, even without being ordained. They can sweep paths, repair the church roof, and maybe even lead the singing on Father's Day. By confining themselves to such traditional male roles, they can still be vitally important in the life of the Church.

1. In the New Testament account, the person who betrayed Jesus was a man. Thus, his lack of faith and ensuing punishment stands as a symbol of the subordinated position that all men should take.

[with great affection and admiration for my friend Mark who definitely owns this content]
[note: turns out Mark got it from Dr. David M. Scholer, my beloved NT exegesis prof. Way to go, Dr. Scholer!]

5 comments:

MEP said...

Hahahahaha! That was great! I love it.

Anonymous said...

I think that is originally the work of one of your Fuller prof's, Dr. David Scholer. He usually pulls it out in his women in ministry class I think, and it also ran in the Semi a while back. (warning: pdf)

The Feminarian said...

Ironically I had just posted that note about Dr. Scholer when your comment came through...

Bryan Sheridan said...

Hilariously funny and quite witty (in spots) but, unfortunately, a bit superficial as a response to the analysis and the theology underlying Pastores Dabo Vobis.

dlaminibf said...

It sound very good but it appear as if the owner of the ministry and mission is not at the center of the argument. God must make the decision who to be ordained not us