Hey, guys, you can pray for me if you do that sort of thing. My stress level has reached epic proportions. I've been on a super-stress ride since about 2 weeks before the quarter ended. There was the week o' papers, then the week o' finals, then the spring "break" during which I had demands on almost every moment of my time (weekends included - I took one day off to go to Universal Studios), and I still have multiple projects hanging over my head before I can feel like I'm in a state of control. Actually this stuff isn't going to go away for at least another month (that's when yet another giant event which I'm part of will happen).
I tried to quit a couple things yesterday - we'll see how that goes over. I really feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. I'm eating like crazy (and so gaining even more weight and feeling crappy about it), and I have digestive pain. I sleep okay (thanks to pills) but I don't want to get up in the morning. Every day is this blur of obligations and at the end of it I just have to look at another lack of progress.
I've stuck with morning prayer but it's hard. I don't have time to do what I really need, which is a retreat. Saturday is a quiet day at church that I'm going to try to get to, but I'm already behind on my homework so who knows....
Anyway, prayers are much appreciated. I hate these whiny me me me posts. But ya'll seem to care about me, so I'm telling you what's up. Life is hard and I can't get out from under it - stuff just isn't getting done, and that makes me crazy.
Will I ever feel on top of things again?
Am I just feeling what it will be like to be in ministry?
Because I'm not entirely sure I can handle it.
Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer. —Rainer Maria Rilke
About Me
- Stasi
- I am currently staying at home and taking care of my children (born 6/08 and 7/10). In my little free time, I teach and write liturgy. My work is currently available through the clayfire project (sparkhouse publishing, a division of Augsburg). I teach for Fuller Seminary online. I am also very interested in the spirituality of food and how faith impacts the choices people make around eating. I am writing articles and perhaps one day a book on this topic.
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6 comments:
You are in my prayers!
Am I just feeling what it will be like to be in ministry?
I've had a similar past couple weeks, and have been asking myself the same question. Learning to say "no, I can't do that" at the right time to people asking things of us is something we must learn to do.
On the other hand, some stretches of time are just bad. I'm not going to get a flat tire, $750 of unrelated car repairs, and word that I have to move out of my apartment on short notice every spring break. Most of your months won't be as bad as this one. (You probably know this!)
During one of our pastoral care classes, my friend John told us how a young woman going through a far more difficult tsunami-related period than either of us can imagine. Most of the stuff that pastors told her about God's plan and whatnot just made her feel worse. One woman she barely knew told told her that God had prepared her for this moment. With this, the young woman found a little comfort and relief. We might do the same; it is no less true for us.
(Thanks for including my late entry with the carnival! That was nice.)
On practical level, I used to have much more of a sleep problem. So, in doing reading, talking to people, this are some of the things that can help:
1. Turn down all the lights in the house about an hour before you go to bed, and I mean really dim light. Our brains need dim light to start producing melatonin to go to sleep.
2. Read something for pleasure, listen to music, stop watching TV.
3. Make a list of all the things that you need to do/are worried about. Then tell yourself you don't need to think about them until morning because you''ve recorded all of them. If something else pops up in the middle of the night, put it on the list & tell yourself you can forget about it until morning. (Probably easier to say than do.)
4. Start a meditation practice right before you go to bed, anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes. It helps shut down the brain.
5. Go to bed & get up at about the same time every day, week or weekend.
If you figure out a cure for stress eating or chocolate addiction, I'd sure like to know it.
Hope your sleep and your stress gets better.
I share in your massively undersleptness.
Praying for you, and for the courage to say "no".
Oh, I'm not having any trouble sleeping at all. Like I said, I have pills for that. Last night I slept from 10 pm until 9 this morning. Really not a problem.
It's the daytime that sucks - the daytime when I'm wound up tight all day because of the huge stressing.
That's probably why I sleep so well! I'm living on adrenaline. Geez, it's like when I worked in television, and every day was this blur of activity, and at night you just collapse!
Ohh wow..that's a lot to handle. Learn how to deal with the stress better, check this out:
http://www.funkytofabulous.blogspot.com
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