I am struggling with what to do. It would be really easy to hit that little trash can icon and delete all the comments. But I feel like that's playing dirty. And I would be fulfilling the role of "hider from debate."
Plus, I see all these comments as kind of a snapshot of the power of anonymity and the new world of the blog. I mean, in the days when we could still see our neighbors (you know, before the 20 ft hedges), could we have approached someone off the bat with such vitriol? I imagine it would have taken at least some kind of relationship before you could really lay into another human being.
And I also think it's all just more evidence of the fallenness of this world. At one point last night, late when I couldn't sleep, I got all kinds of weird ideas like maybe I was being attacked spiritually. Does the devil blog? If so, does he delete comments? Maybe just those from God.
Anyway that is not like me, to go all spirit-wacky, but that's how weird the whole thing is. It's just so out of the blue to be sitting there one day, going about your business, and then a person - actually, just words, not even a person - goes ballistic on everything you've mused on for the last several months. Just think about that. It's weird. It's something that could only happen now.
So for the moment, the comments are staying, if for no other reason than anthropological interest. We are a strange species.
One more thing that I thought about today: I wonder if when Paul is talking about unclean talk, he's referring more to the content of speech than to dirty words. I mean, is my saying "fuck" about something really worse than someone else saying that "God hates fags"? Is my saying that I'm pissed off (righteously) because of a perceived slight to my Lord worse than someone who tears down the humanity of another being? I just don't think so. Probably none of it is very good. But it's definitely more a social thing than a Christian thing. I have a hard time believing God cares very much about the grunts we make in our primitive tongues (yet being a wordsmith, I have to hope my grunts speak to my fellow cavepeople).
You know, I have nothing else to say about that at the moment that I feel is worth sharing. I'm going to try to get back to freedom, but know that I'm self-censoring in a huge way right now.
And what about pints? Is anybody in LA? Or I'll be in Utah, Idaho, Colorado and Vegas in a couple weeks...? And then in Iowa...
(how about me, the big world traveler!)
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
God sends cats
Last night I was having something of a problem, and I tried to go to bed but of course the voices in my head were having trouble shutting up.
And I began one of these prayers that's like God what am I...who am I...why am I...
And then the cat jumped up, stuck her face in mine, snuggled up and purred.
I don't know if it is God or if it is the cat. But their little lives put things in perspective, don't they? To be a being that simply loves...what a concept.
They have a sense of what is wrong in the air - it keeps them alive in the wild, and it puts them on the laps of those who'd rather not take them. And it brings them running when we send our little stress pheremones into the air.
Here's something I wrote about my cat that was actually published in the Fuller lit journal this year (although I personally don't think it's that great):
The Messenger
I sit with eyes closed
struggling to Be Still
and Know
But she is weaving through my legs.
I give up and allow her on my chest.
She approaches me
with so little understanding of who I am,
so much selfish desire,
such inability to communicate.
She loves me, but only for her own gain.
She trusts me, but only insofar as I care for her.
She comes to me, but only for her comfort and solace.
But then she looks up at me
and her purr rumbles in my chest
and she closes her eyes
pressing her head in my chin,
And I realize
that no matter how vast the chasm between our minds,
I live for these moments.
And I realize
that He does too.
Jen, that one was for you. Be inspired! (hope you're not a dog person)
Stasi
ps. Cat who doesn't like to cover in the box just left me a present. Coincidence? I think not.
And I began one of these prayers that's like God what am I...who am I...why am I...
And then the cat jumped up, stuck her face in mine, snuggled up and purred.
I don't know if it is God or if it is the cat. But their little lives put things in perspective, don't they? To be a being that simply loves...what a concept.
They have a sense of what is wrong in the air - it keeps them alive in the wild, and it puts them on the laps of those who'd rather not take them. And it brings them running when we send our little stress pheremones into the air.
Here's something I wrote about my cat that was actually published in the Fuller lit journal this year (although I personally don't think it's that great):
The Messenger
I sit with eyes closed
struggling to Be Still
and Know
But she is weaving through my legs.
I give up and allow her on my chest.
She approaches me
with so little understanding of who I am,
so much selfish desire,
such inability to communicate.
She loves me, but only for her own gain.
She trusts me, but only insofar as I care for her.
She comes to me, but only for her comfort and solace.
But then she looks up at me
and her purr rumbles in my chest
and she closes her eyes
pressing her head in my chin,
And I realize
that no matter how vast the chasm between our minds,
I live for these moments.
And I realize
that He does too.
Jen, that one was for you. Be inspired! (hope you're not a dog person)
Stasi
ps. Cat who doesn't like to cover in the box just left me a present. Coincidence? I think not.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Dear Anonymous Poster
It sounds like you're having a really bad night. I shouldn't have let you get to me. Please email me off-blog if there is something you'd like me to pray about or help you with. I certainly understand stress - lately I've been really down, too.
You sound like you have a lot of ideas and have really had some valuable life experience. I would recommend that you create a blog to post your thoughts and let the world see things your way. Indeed, blogger is a wonderful invention that allows each of us to have our own little space in which to share our personal take on things. On Feminary, I talk about the things that are affecting me right now, and I welcome people to read and take from it what they will. But I will rarely feel the need to defend myself, since these are just my own thoughts about the world and certainly nobody has to agree with me for me to feel good about them. They are good because they are mine - they are a record of my journey, which I am living as authentically as I can, with God's help.
It's only polite to create your own blog to post the long essays that you are writing on mine. Please feel free to use my posts as your starting point to write about topics on your blog. I would take this as a compliment. I would also be fine for you to post in my comments the links to your blog, where you may feel free to talk as long as you like in response to the things that I say.
If you need assistance with creating your blog, blogger has a very easy-to-use help section.
Blessings upon you - and hooray for freedom of speech!
The Feminarian
You sound like you have a lot of ideas and have really had some valuable life experience. I would recommend that you create a blog to post your thoughts and let the world see things your way. Indeed, blogger is a wonderful invention that allows each of us to have our own little space in which to share our personal take on things. On Feminary, I talk about the things that are affecting me right now, and I welcome people to read and take from it what they will. But I will rarely feel the need to defend myself, since these are just my own thoughts about the world and certainly nobody has to agree with me for me to feel good about them. They are good because they are mine - they are a record of my journey, which I am living as authentically as I can, with God's help.
It's only polite to create your own blog to post the long essays that you are writing on mine. Please feel free to use my posts as your starting point to write about topics on your blog. I would take this as a compliment. I would also be fine for you to post in my comments the links to your blog, where you may feel free to talk as long as you like in response to the things that I say.
If you need assistance with creating your blog, blogger has a very easy-to-use help section.
Blessings upon you - and hooray for freedom of speech!
The Feminarian
Dear Friends Who Blog
Have you been hit by a Blog Pest? I sure have.
Some freaky person has been reading my months-old posts and writing vehemently about them. Wow, what wasted venom! When a person starts writing first of all about something so old and second of all fills their post with false assumptions about me, why in the world would I care to read such a thing?
Weird-o. Whatever happened to manners? I guess being able to be anonymous makes the heart bold.
Well, here's my final word. This is my blog, not yours. If you don't like what I say, you can post a sentence or two, sure. But seriously, don't write more than I wrote in the original post. Get your own blog to spew in.
Feminary is my world. Love it or leave it.
Some freaky person has been reading my months-old posts and writing vehemently about them. Wow, what wasted venom! When a person starts writing first of all about something so old and second of all fills their post with false assumptions about me, why in the world would I care to read such a thing?
Weird-o. Whatever happened to manners? I guess being able to be anonymous makes the heart bold.
Well, here's my final word. This is my blog, not yours. If you don't like what I say, you can post a sentence or two, sure. But seriously, don't write more than I wrote in the original post. Get your own blog to spew in.
Feminary is my world. Love it or leave it.
Monday, May 30, 2005
'Cause I'm a wooooooooman
Why can't we be smart?
Why is our passion mistrusted?
Why is our judgement questioned?
Why is our speaking out judged?
Why do we have to be nicer?
Why do we have to be more sentimental?
Why do we have to accept less?
Why aren't we allowed to be angry?
Why can't we call it as we see it?
Why do we have to like children?
Why can't we prefer science?
Or hiking?
Or a career?
Or a debate?
Why aren't men ever called bitchy?
Or feminazis?
Why does expressing your opinon make you a traitor to your gender?
Why do people say the name of my blog with disdain?
Why do people roll their eyes when they hear we have a women's concerns committee?
Why is our passion mistrusted?
Why is our judgement questioned?
Why is our speaking out judged?
Why do we have to be nicer?
Why do we have to be more sentimental?
Why do we have to accept less?
Why aren't we allowed to be angry?
Why can't we call it as we see it?
Why do we have to like children?
Why can't we prefer science?
Or hiking?
Or a career?
Or a debate?
Why aren't men ever called bitchy?
Or feminazis?
Why does expressing your opinon make you a traitor to your gender?
Why do people say the name of my blog with disdain?
Why do people roll their eyes when they hear we have a women's concerns committee?
A Memorial Day Prayer
By Rev. Dick Kozelka (ret)
First Congregational Church of Minnesota
Minneapolis, MN.
Eternal God,
Creator of years, of centuries,
Lord of whatever is beyond time,
Maker of all species and master of all history --
How shall we speak to you
from our smallness and inconsequence?
Except that you have called us to worship you
in spirit and in truth;
You have dignified us with loves and loyalties;
You have lifted us up with your lovingkindnesses.
Therefore we are bold to come before you without groveling
[though we sometimes feel that low]
and without fear
[though we are often anxious].
We sing with spirit and pray with courage
because you have dignified us;
You have redeemed us from the aimlessness
of things' going meaninglessly well.
God, lift the hearts of those
for whom this holiday is not just diversion,
but painful memory and continued deprivation.
Bless those whose dear ones have died
needlessly, wastefully [as it seems]
in accident or misadventure.
We remember with compassion those who have died
serving their countries
in the futility of combat.
There is none of us but must come to bereavement and separation,
when all the answers we are offered
fail the question death asks of each of us.
We believe that you will provide for us
as others have been provided with the fulfillment of
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."
First Congregational Church of Minnesota
Minneapolis, MN.
Eternal God,
Creator of years, of centuries,
Lord of whatever is beyond time,
Maker of all species and master of all history --
How shall we speak to you
from our smallness and inconsequence?
Except that you have called us to worship you
in spirit and in truth;
You have dignified us with loves and loyalties;
You have lifted us up with your lovingkindnesses.
Therefore we are bold to come before you without groveling
[though we sometimes feel that low]
and without fear
[though we are often anxious].
We sing with spirit and pray with courage
because you have dignified us;
You have redeemed us from the aimlessness
of things' going meaninglessly well.
God, lift the hearts of those
for whom this holiday is not just diversion,
but painful memory and continued deprivation.
Bless those whose dear ones have died
needlessly, wastefully [as it seems]
in accident or misadventure.
We remember with compassion those who have died
serving their countries
in the futility of combat.
There is none of us but must come to bereavement and separation,
when all the answers we are offered
fail the question death asks of each of us.
We believe that you will provide for us
as others have been provided with the fulfillment of
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."
Friday, May 27, 2005
A lament
Let us pray for…
Those among our community who have lost loved ones to sudden and violent death.
Those with us who live in fear.
Those who are without employment, food, shelter, or family.
Those who suffer from disease, addiction, chronic pain, mental illness, or impending death.
Those among us who are depressed.
Those who have lost hope.
Those who feel themselves rejected or despised.
Those with broken hearts.
Bring us, O Lord, into the pain of our sisters and brothers around us
That the wide circle of our support
May somehow hold all the tears
May somehow quell the fears
May somehow mend us and bring us closer to one another and to you.
Grant us grace to see the other’s hurt
Cry the other’s lament
Wrench with the other’s grief
Consume the other’s sorrow
Until it is no more the other’s
But it is lost in the prayers and the love of the body.
Bring healing where it can be brought
Bring comfort where it cannot
Bring patience for another day
Of waiting for the raw wound to close.
Cry with us, O Lord
Do not cease to hear us
Do not turn away from us
Do not lose patience with us
Remember when you were one of us
The fragility you took on
The rejection you bore
The loss you felt
The tears you wept
Remember the ones who came to you for healing
And the ones you raised from death
We ask not for a fix
Or an answer
Or even an end
Just cry with us
Just be one of us again
Just allow us to be human
And frail and weak and rejected
And break with us
Ride the waves with us
Point the way home
And we will get there someday
Those among our community who have lost loved ones to sudden and violent death.
Those with us who live in fear.
Those who are without employment, food, shelter, or family.
Those who suffer from disease, addiction, chronic pain, mental illness, or impending death.
Those among us who are depressed.
Those who have lost hope.
Those who feel themselves rejected or despised.
Those with broken hearts.
Bring us, O Lord, into the pain of our sisters and brothers around us
That the wide circle of our support
May somehow hold all the tears
May somehow quell the fears
May somehow mend us and bring us closer to one another and to you.
Grant us grace to see the other’s hurt
Cry the other’s lament
Wrench with the other’s grief
Consume the other’s sorrow
Until it is no more the other’s
But it is lost in the prayers and the love of the body.
Bring healing where it can be brought
Bring comfort where it cannot
Bring patience for another day
Of waiting for the raw wound to close.
Cry with us, O Lord
Do not cease to hear us
Do not turn away from us
Do not lose patience with us
Remember when you were one of us
The fragility you took on
The rejection you bore
The loss you felt
The tears you wept
Remember the ones who came to you for healing
And the ones you raised from death
We ask not for a fix
Or an answer
Or even an end
Just cry with us
Just be one of us again
Just allow us to be human
And frail and weak and rejected
And break with us
Ride the waves with us
Point the way home
And we will get there someday
Thursday, May 26, 2005
No internship for me
I had such an amazing experience yesterday working with my peers in creating a worship service. Somehow...with the Spirit's help no doubt...we all came together and we spoke the same language. For one incredible hour it just clicked - I didn't even mind the praise choruses!
But today I learned that there is not "space" for me to be part of the ongoing creation of such experiences. They offered to meet me to tell me why but I cannot. My heart is broken. I just wanted to do what God's given me to do. I wanted to serve and to share my gifts.
Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much. I wish I weren't so intelligent and opinionated too. I wish I wasn't so talented and passionate. I wish I could just be a normal person.
But I am not. And what I am is incredibly threatening. And very hard to work with.
I took great comfort that when I told my mother about my interview she said she and my aunt have the same problem. People tell her all the time, "You can't be so open and honest with people."
My family - my mom's side at +-least - is just candid. We- +are open books
.+++++++------------
so+-rry +my cat is lying all ov+-er the keyboard. Bless her. She always come -s when I am crying.
What an incredi------------------ble thing. +++---------more kitty love
I am candid and opinionated and passionate and smart and I want so badly to use what I have got to show other people the way to God.
For the next year at least, it's going to have to be on the blog, I suppose.
Please, may I ask you not to send me comments about God's other plans for me, or about how I would have been good and it's their loss, or even about 66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666 the cat is going evil on me.
You know what I mean. Sometimes that doesn't help. But if you have pain - if the people of God have somehow stunted your growth, or made your gifts feel unwelcome, or made yourself feel inappropriate, then I want to hear it. Tell me your story.
But today I learned that there is not "space" for me to be part of the ongoing creation of such experiences. They offered to meet me to tell me why but I cannot. My heart is broken. I just wanted to do what God's given me to do. I wanted to serve and to share my gifts.
Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much. I wish I weren't so intelligent and opinionated too. I wish I wasn't so talented and passionate. I wish I could just be a normal person.
But I am not. And what I am is incredibly threatening. And very hard to work with.
I took great comfort that when I told my mother about my interview she said she and my aunt have the same problem. People tell her all the time, "You can't be so open and honest with people."
My family - my mom's side at +-least - is just candid. We- +are open books
.+++++++------------
so+-rry +my cat is lying all ov+-er the keyboard. Bless her. She always come -s when I am crying.
What an incredi------------------ble thing. +++---------more kitty love
I am candid and opinionated and passionate and smart and I want so badly to use what I have got to show other people the way to God.
For the next year at least, it's going to have to be on the blog, I suppose.
Please, may I ask you not to send me comments about God's other plans for me, or about how I would have been good and it's their loss, or even about 66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666 the cat is going evil on me.
You know what I mean. Sometimes that doesn't help. But if you have pain - if the people of God have somehow stunted your growth, or made your gifts feel unwelcome, or made yourself feel inappropriate, then I want to hear it. Tell me your story.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
God showed up
Oh, wow, you guys...the chapel service was amazing! I can't believe how Spirit-filled it was...when just yesterday afternoon we were an anxious, fearful group of wannabes. But it worked! It was one of the best services I've ever attended.
It is truly amazing what can be done with a group of people who are serious about worship. Every last bit was intentional, theologically considered...every person contributing was thoughtful, humble, and ever so talented. People did everything from bake communion bread (yum!) to dance the Sanctus (wow!) to play the accordian (!!!).
People really responded to the reading. I think it hit home for a lot of us, since we're in the midst of wrapping up all the papers and tests that come with the end of quarter. There were "amen"s and they even laughed at the jokes! What a wonderful gift it was to me to be able to share this Word with my peers.
If only every chapel could be that way. If I get this internship, I'll do my best to make sure it is.
It is truly amazing what can be done with a group of people who are serious about worship. Every last bit was intentional, theologically considered...every person contributing was thoughtful, humble, and ever so talented. People did everything from bake communion bread (yum!) to dance the Sanctus (wow!) to play the accordian (!!!).
People really responded to the reading. I think it hit home for a lot of us, since we're in the midst of wrapping up all the papers and tests that come with the end of quarter. There were "amen"s and they even laughed at the jokes! What a wonderful gift it was to me to be able to share this Word with my peers.
If only every chapel could be that way. If I get this internship, I'll do my best to make sure it is.
Sunday, May 22, 2005
The Christian Alliance for Progress
Hydeeho.
I just finished 5 hours of take home exam. Ugh, ugh, ugh. That was tiring. Suffice to say my paper on sacramental theology as experienced in Christian initiation rites (aka the paper about baptism) will not be completed today.
On a positive note, I can now identify most of the funny clothes priests wear, including the pointy hat.
And yes, when I got the word "mitre", I wrote "pointy hat". Sorry, after five hours, I was getting a little punchy.
But all this is to say that I have two things to share. The first is that I got an email from the aforementioned group (in the title), asking me to promote them because I am "already on the front lines." Wow, I'm such a celebrity.
Since flattery gets you everywhere, I'm doing my part and posting the link to their site up there. Also, here is a letter that they want people to sign. I have not yet signed it. I am not sure I agree with absolutely everything in it, and I need to mull it over. Also, here is a link to a flash movie they've made about evil Republicans. Well I'm all about that. But my dumb sound on the computer randomly goes out, so I have to wait and watch it later. Let me know how it is. Do these people seem like wackos to you?
The Jacksonville Declaration:
http://www.christianalliance.org/declaration
Flash Movie – Sneak Peek:
http://www.christianalliance.org/becountedflash
OK, I promised two things, and the other is a special treat for ya'll, my dear buddies. I'm going to post something I wrote for my class' chapel presentation. It's on Wednesday, so if you're a Fuller person, just come to chapel and see it (reading it doesn't have the same effect as hearing it read). It's about life in seminary...but I think you'll get that.
The Journey
Characters:
The Postulant
Voices 1, 2, & 3
1, 2, 3: Sir, we wish to see Jesus.
The Postulant: Here I am, Lord. Send me. The Lord God has given me the tongue of a teacher, that I may know how to sustain the weary with a word. May it be done to me according to your Word.
(very quickly, on top of one another)
1: Theology
2: Anthropology
3: Christology
2: Sotierology
3: Ecclesiology
1: Eschatology
The Postulant: Credo
3: Spiritual Formation
1: Spiritual Disciplines
2: Spiritual Journey
3: Spirituality
The Postulant: Pursuit of wholeness
2: Community
3: Small groups
1: Servant leadership
2: Seeker sensitive
3: Authentic
1: Emergent
The Postulant: Praxis
2: Engaging culture
1: Exegeting culture
3: Electronic culture
1: Wired world
3: Post-Modern
2: Post-Evangelical
1: Post-Denominational
The Postulant: Spectacle
2: Consumerism
1: Theo-capitalism
3: Globalization
2: Imperialism
1: God’s politics
The Postulant: Justice
1: Missiology
3: Diversity
2: Sensitivity
3: Tolerance
1: Pluralism
The Postulant: Ecumenical
1: Youth
2: Marriage
3: Family
2: At-risk
1: Reconciliation
2: Healing
3: Recovery
The Postulant: Liberation
3: Patriarchy
2: Feminism
1: Maturity
2: Integration
3: Transformation
1, 2, 3: Discipleship.
The Postulant:
I have devoted my energies to the study of the scriptures,
Study, teaching, and writing have always been my delight.
I have acquired great wisdom, surpassing all who were before me;
And my mind has had great experience of wisdom and knowledge.
1: Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
3: Who determined its measurements – surely you know!
2: Are you able to drink the cup that I drink,
Or be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?
1, 2, 3: Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me?
The Postulant:
I am of small account; how shall I answer you?
I lay my hand on my mouth.
I applied my mind to seek and to search out by wisdom all that is done under heaven;
I perceive that this is but a chasing after the wind.
For in much wisdom is much vexation
And those who increase knowledge increase sorrow.
What must we do to do the works God requires?
2: The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.
1: These people draw near with their mouths
And honor God with their lips
While their hearts are far from him
I hate, I despise your festivals,
I take no delight in your solemn assemblies
Take away from me the noise of your songs!
3: But let justice roll down like waters,
And righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.
2: He has told you, O mortal, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justice,
and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God.
The Postulant:
Those who love their life lose it
Those who hate their life in this world
Will keep it for eternal life
2: Come unto me, all you who are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.
God has hidden these things from the wise and the intelligent and has revealed them to infants;
Do not occupy yourself with great matters,
Or with things that are too hard for you.
3: Too much learning is driving you insane!
The Postulant:
May God grant me to speak with judgment, and to have thoughts worthy of what I have received; for he is the guide even of wisdom and the corrector of the wise. For both we and our words are in his hand, as are all understanding and skill. For it is he who gave me unerring knowledge of what exists, I learned both what is secret and what is manifest, for wisdom, the fashioner of all things, taught me. There is in her a spirit that is intelligent, holy, unique, manifold, subtle, mobile, clear, unpolluted, distinct, invulnerable, loving the good, keen, irresistible.
1: If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples;
And you will know the truth,
And the truth will make you free.
3: Be transformed by the renewing of your mind
A man is a slave to whatever controls him
Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus.
2: As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you;
Abide in my love.
The Postulant:
The seed must die to bear much fruit.
Now this is eternal life…
3: (not merely a life that is eternal in duration, but primarily something different from the natural life of man)
The Postulant: …that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.
2: (know not just information or facts, but know from experiencing someone in relationship)
1: Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there will my servant be also.
Whoever serves me, the Father will honor.
The Postulant:
If we live, we live to the Lord
And if we die, we die to the Lord
So then, whether we live
Or whether we die
We are the Lord’s.
I just finished 5 hours of take home exam. Ugh, ugh, ugh. That was tiring. Suffice to say my paper on sacramental theology as experienced in Christian initiation rites (aka the paper about baptism) will not be completed today.
On a positive note, I can now identify most of the funny clothes priests wear, including the pointy hat.
And yes, when I got the word "mitre", I wrote "pointy hat". Sorry, after five hours, I was getting a little punchy.
But all this is to say that I have two things to share. The first is that I got an email from the aforementioned group (in the title), asking me to promote them because I am "already on the front lines." Wow, I'm such a celebrity.
Since flattery gets you everywhere, I'm doing my part and posting the link to their site up there. Also, here is a letter that they want people to sign. I have not yet signed it. I am not sure I agree with absolutely everything in it, and I need to mull it over. Also, here is a link to a flash movie they've made about evil Republicans. Well I'm all about that. But my dumb sound on the computer randomly goes out, so I have to wait and watch it later. Let me know how it is. Do these people seem like wackos to you?
The Jacksonville Declaration:
http://www.christianalliance.org/declaration
Flash Movie – Sneak Peek:
http://www.christianalliance.org/becountedflash
OK, I promised two things, and the other is a special treat for ya'll, my dear buddies. I'm going to post something I wrote for my class' chapel presentation. It's on Wednesday, so if you're a Fuller person, just come to chapel and see it (reading it doesn't have the same effect as hearing it read). It's about life in seminary...but I think you'll get that.
The Journey
Characters:
The Postulant
Voices 1, 2, & 3
1, 2, 3: Sir, we wish to see Jesus.
The Postulant: Here I am, Lord. Send me. The Lord God has given me the tongue of a teacher, that I may know how to sustain the weary with a word. May it be done to me according to your Word.
(very quickly, on top of one another)
1: Theology
2: Anthropology
3: Christology
2: Sotierology
3: Ecclesiology
1: Eschatology
The Postulant: Credo
3: Spiritual Formation
1: Spiritual Disciplines
2: Spiritual Journey
3: Spirituality
The Postulant: Pursuit of wholeness
2: Community
3: Small groups
1: Servant leadership
2: Seeker sensitive
3: Authentic
1: Emergent
The Postulant: Praxis
2: Engaging culture
1: Exegeting culture
3: Electronic culture
1: Wired world
3: Post-Modern
2: Post-Evangelical
1: Post-Denominational
The Postulant: Spectacle
2: Consumerism
1: Theo-capitalism
3: Globalization
2: Imperialism
1: God’s politics
The Postulant: Justice
1: Missiology
3: Diversity
2: Sensitivity
3: Tolerance
1: Pluralism
The Postulant: Ecumenical
1: Youth
2: Marriage
3: Family
2: At-risk
1: Reconciliation
2: Healing
3: Recovery
The Postulant: Liberation
3: Patriarchy
2: Feminism
1: Maturity
2: Integration
3: Transformation
1, 2, 3: Discipleship.
The Postulant:
I have devoted my energies to the study of the scriptures,
Study, teaching, and writing have always been my delight.
I have acquired great wisdom, surpassing all who were before me;
And my mind has had great experience of wisdom and knowledge.
1: Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
3: Who determined its measurements – surely you know!
2: Are you able to drink the cup that I drink,
Or be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?
1, 2, 3: Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me?
The Postulant:
I am of small account; how shall I answer you?
I lay my hand on my mouth.
I applied my mind to seek and to search out by wisdom all that is done under heaven;
I perceive that this is but a chasing after the wind.
For in much wisdom is much vexation
And those who increase knowledge increase sorrow.
What must we do to do the works God requires?
2: The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.
1: These people draw near with their mouths
And honor God with their lips
While their hearts are far from him
I hate, I despise your festivals,
I take no delight in your solemn assemblies
Take away from me the noise of your songs!
3: But let justice roll down like waters,
And righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.
2: He has told you, O mortal, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justice,
and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God.
The Postulant:
Those who love their life lose it
Those who hate their life in this world
Will keep it for eternal life
2: Come unto me, all you who are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.
God has hidden these things from the wise and the intelligent and has revealed them to infants;
Do not occupy yourself with great matters,
Or with things that are too hard for you.
3: Too much learning is driving you insane!
The Postulant:
May God grant me to speak with judgment, and to have thoughts worthy of what I have received; for he is the guide even of wisdom and the corrector of the wise. For both we and our words are in his hand, as are all understanding and skill. For it is he who gave me unerring knowledge of what exists, I learned both what is secret and what is manifest, for wisdom, the fashioner of all things, taught me. There is in her a spirit that is intelligent, holy, unique, manifold, subtle, mobile, clear, unpolluted, distinct, invulnerable, loving the good, keen, irresistible.
1: If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples;
And you will know the truth,
And the truth will make you free.
3: Be transformed by the renewing of your mind
A man is a slave to whatever controls him
Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus.
2: As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you;
Abide in my love.
The Postulant:
The seed must die to bear much fruit.
Now this is eternal life…
3: (not merely a life that is eternal in duration, but primarily something different from the natural life of man)
The Postulant: …that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.
2: (know not just information or facts, but know from experiencing someone in relationship)
1: Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there will my servant be also.
Whoever serves me, the Father will honor.
The Postulant:
If we live, we live to the Lord
And if we die, we die to the Lord
So then, whether we live
Or whether we die
We are the Lord’s.
Movies, movies, movies
Did you see it yet? I thought it was fine. I wasn't expecting fireworks, just a decent movie, which I got. It made me want to watch ep 4 again.
If you don't know what I'm talking about...well you will tomorrow when the weekend's takes are broadcast.
Yesterday we went to see Dominion, which is the Exorcist prequel directed by Calvin College alum (and writer of Last Temptation) Paul Schraeder. According to J, it was leaps and bounds better than the Renny Harlin version that came out a couple months ago (long ugly story behind this film). I didn't see that one.
Long story short, I enjoyed it quite a bit, because it was extremely theologically astute, and good/God wins in the end, which is so rare to see these days. It's not really a horror film, it's more like a 2-hour Jonathan Edwards sermon. :) Let me take the liberty of recommending it. Be warned: it's boring (the guy next to me snored loudly through it) and not unlike sitting through a lecture. But I'm always so fascinated when someone puts people of faith (or of shaky faith) on film and actually gets it right.
And then I came home and watched The Passion of Joan of Arc, which J thinks might be the best film of all time, and I might just agree with him. It was quite outstanding. It's a silent film from the 1920's, that was thought to be lost in a fire. A crappy version hobbled together from reshoots and 2nd takes was all that survived, and even that film was considered genius. Then they found an original Danish print in 1981 in a closet in a Norweigan mental institution. Miraculous story. And it's quite the work of art. Very wrenching, and what a portrayal of a saint!
OK, I am supposed to be writing a paper, so better go.
If you don't know what I'm talking about...well you will tomorrow when the weekend's takes are broadcast.
Yesterday we went to see Dominion, which is the Exorcist prequel directed by Calvin College alum (and writer of Last Temptation) Paul Schraeder. According to J, it was leaps and bounds better than the Renny Harlin version that came out a couple months ago (long ugly story behind this film). I didn't see that one.
Long story short, I enjoyed it quite a bit, because it was extremely theologically astute, and good/God wins in the end, which is so rare to see these days. It's not really a horror film, it's more like a 2-hour Jonathan Edwards sermon. :) Let me take the liberty of recommending it. Be warned: it's boring (the guy next to me snored loudly through it) and not unlike sitting through a lecture. But I'm always so fascinated when someone puts people of faith (or of shaky faith) on film and actually gets it right.
And then I came home and watched The Passion of Joan of Arc, which J thinks might be the best film of all time, and I might just agree with him. It was quite outstanding. It's a silent film from the 1920's, that was thought to be lost in a fire. A crappy version hobbled together from reshoots and 2nd takes was all that survived, and even that film was considered genius. Then they found an original Danish print in 1981 in a closet in a Norweigan mental institution. Miraculous story. And it's quite the work of art. Very wrenching, and what a portrayal of a saint!
OK, I am supposed to be writing a paper, so better go.
Friday, May 20, 2005
Are we at all surprised?
So now it turns out that the reason I've heard nothing about this internship is because they can't decide what to do with me. They don't know if I would fit with their team. I'm liturgical, I'm well-trained and studied in theology of worship, and I'm really passionate. These are all things unique to me within this potential group of worship leaders.
I'm like some sort of pariah in the evangelical world. The things I hold dear are so terrifying. And the fact that I speak out about them, and don't allow people to settle, really bothers some. It really invigorates others. I want to do more of the latter, and find a way to love those in the former group.
I don't want to betray myself, but I can be more diplomatic in my approach. I hope that I have the opportunity to show that I can work well with these people, even if I am the odd woman out.
Most of all, I have what I feel is this great big gift that I'm dying to give to the seminary, if only they'll just accept it from me. But are they ready to go where I want to - where God could - take them?
We must be patient. Wait and see.
I'm like some sort of pariah in the evangelical world. The things I hold dear are so terrifying. And the fact that I speak out about them, and don't allow people to settle, really bothers some. It really invigorates others. I want to do more of the latter, and find a way to love those in the former group.
I don't want to betray myself, but I can be more diplomatic in my approach. I hope that I have the opportunity to show that I can work well with these people, even if I am the odd woman out.
Most of all, I have what I feel is this great big gift that I'm dying to give to the seminary, if only they'll just accept it from me. But are they ready to go where I want to - where God could - take them?
We must be patient. Wait and see.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Baaaaa, baaaaa
The Feminarian is sheepish.
Turns out they've contacted no one yet about the internship.
Not getting the hopes back up, but my hissy fit yesterday was a little premature.
Hey, at least I can just repost it when the time comes!
Turns out they've contacted no one yet about the internship.
Not getting the hopes back up, but my hissy fit yesterday was a little premature.
Hey, at least I can just repost it when the time comes!
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Femmy hangs her head
I am so fucking depressed right now. I'm not getting this chapel internship and I wanted it so bad. It would have been such an outstanding way to practice my work. What I think is my Kingdom work, which is putting together liturgy. It was to be on a team that planned every chapel for the year. I wanted it so much, I tried so hard, I prayed so hard. It seemed perfect. It seemed created just for me.
But I had so many big ideas, and I think I scared them. Or they just thought I was nuts. Anyway, I didn't get it. Obviously it wasn't created just for me. I feel like I'm too Anglican for them. Or maybe I just care too much about worship. It's threatening to have someone come in who believes wholeheartedly in the way her church does things. That's not going to work for chapel at a seminary with 100 denominations represented.
It's true, it is not. I was not right for it. I've also heard that priority was given to those graduating, and to people who already were involved with chapel. Both of which make sense.
But I would have done such a good job, and I cared so much! My heart and soul were really in it. Ugh. I've spent most of the day holding back tears. Which couldn't be held back during the Eucharist I attended this morning. *sigh*
Did you know that today is St. Dunstan's day, a guy who would make a great patron saint of Fuller's Brehm Center for Worship, Theology and the Arts. He was an artist and a scholar and a musician. Really cool guy.
Now I am in class and today the mime is speaking. Heh, heh, that's kind of a funny sentence. Can it get any worse?
No, I can’t be upset about the mime; in fact, he's an outstanding teacher. He's more interesting than just about anyone and he's damn inspirational, especially when talking about the arts in worship.
But today his talk about everyone's gifting being used and made manifest is just reminding me how this door to my gift has been slammed in my face.
I'm seriously self-indulging right now. I need to stop. I'm going to listen to the mime now.
O God of truth and beauty, you richly endowed your bishop Dunstan with skill in music and the working of metals, and with gifts of administration and reforming zeal: Teach us, we pray, to see in you the source of all our talents, and move us to offer them for the adornment of worship and the advancement of true religion; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
But I had so many big ideas, and I think I scared them. Or they just thought I was nuts. Anyway, I didn't get it. Obviously it wasn't created just for me. I feel like I'm too Anglican for them. Or maybe I just care too much about worship. It's threatening to have someone come in who believes wholeheartedly in the way her church does things. That's not going to work for chapel at a seminary with 100 denominations represented.
It's true, it is not. I was not right for it. I've also heard that priority was given to those graduating, and to people who already were involved with chapel. Both of which make sense.
But I would have done such a good job, and I cared so much! My heart and soul were really in it. Ugh. I've spent most of the day holding back tears. Which couldn't be held back during the Eucharist I attended this morning. *sigh*
Did you know that today is St. Dunstan's day, a guy who would make a great patron saint of Fuller's Brehm Center for Worship, Theology and the Arts. He was an artist and a scholar and a musician. Really cool guy.
Now I am in class and today the mime is speaking. Heh, heh, that's kind of a funny sentence. Can it get any worse?
No, I can’t be upset about the mime; in fact, he's an outstanding teacher. He's more interesting than just about anyone and he's damn inspirational, especially when talking about the arts in worship.
But today his talk about everyone's gifting being used and made manifest is just reminding me how this door to my gift has been slammed in my face.
I'm seriously self-indulging right now. I need to stop. I'm going to listen to the mime now.
O God of truth and beauty, you richly endowed your bishop Dunstan with skill in music and the working of metals, and with gifts of administration and reforming zeal: Teach us, we pray, to see in you the source of all our talents, and move us to offer them for the adornment of worship and the advancement of true religion; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
Monday, May 16, 2005
Why Fuller...
Someone suggested that my recent problems with my peers was due to the fact that I've decided not to attend an Episcopal seminary. And it's true that there are a lot of things I'd get from Episcopal Seminary. But it's also true that the people at Fuller with whom I'm disagreeing are the Episcopalians. With others, we can at least see one another's point of view, even when we disagree. In fact, I get into much livelier debates with non-Episcopalians. The people from my denomination tend to roll their eyes at me or just tell me I'm wrong or just assume I'm too young to know whereof I speak.
All of which could be true. But that's another story.
Mainly I wanted to say that after my class on Thursday, a person I'd never spoken to walked up to me and asked if we could meet for lunch or coffee, simply to chat about my viewpoint. He is Pentecostal and simply had never heard ideas like those that I spout. Also, he confessed that he didn't like his gut reactions to words like "liturgy" (must be dead, dull). Since I'm obviously obssessed and in love with my church, he wanted to find out how to reconcile that with what he's always thought about high church.
And that, my friends, is why I am at Fuller. Not only because I want to learn from others who have insights I never would have thought of, but also because I'm secretly an Anglican spy who's sent there to bring others over to "our side." So far, it's working quite well.
What's my counter-mission?
All of which could be true. But that's another story.
Mainly I wanted to say that after my class on Thursday, a person I'd never spoken to walked up to me and asked if we could meet for lunch or coffee, simply to chat about my viewpoint. He is Pentecostal and simply had never heard ideas like those that I spout. Also, he confessed that he didn't like his gut reactions to words like "liturgy" (must be dead, dull). Since I'm obviously obssessed and in love with my church, he wanted to find out how to reconcile that with what he's always thought about high church.
And that, my friends, is why I am at Fuller. Not only because I want to learn from others who have insights I never would have thought of, but also because I'm secretly an Anglican spy who's sent there to bring others over to "our side." So far, it's working quite well.
What's my counter-mission?
Friday, May 13, 2005
Publishing
OK, I've decided to get serious about trying to publish my "Revelation". Anyone who's seen it has told me to, and most people I describe it to tell me to, and after the last reading several people told me they wanted it for their church. So I figure there might be interest.
I would think it would be the kind of thing that Emergent churches would like to do. Actually it's good for any church - the emergent and mainline snobs can enjoy it as a unique work of art, and the crazy fundamentalists can read it as part of prophecy conference. It's a win-win! Maybe I should be contacting the Left Behind juggernaut about this...
At any rate, I'm posting this b/c I thought someone who reads might have an idea of who I could strategically submit to. I don't want to waste my or publishers' time. And maybe nobody wants it. But it seems like this crazy end-times stuff just keeps getting more popular. So why not ride the bandwagon?
In all seriousness, I care a lot about my little play, a lot of work went into it, and a lot of good theology informed it. It's my secret weapon against the fundamentalists....maybe when they hear it artistically they'll realize it's full of metaphors....
Anyway, if anyone has any thoughts, I am all ears. And in case I haven't described it before on here, it's a Readers Theater of the entire book of Revelation. It has 7 cast members who pretty much read equal amounts of time (John, the narrator, a little more than the others). It is exactly from Scripture (NRSV) with nothing changed, added, or deleted. It takes about 1.5 hours to read, and believe it or not, it's pretty engaging - the time goes quickly.
I think even non-Christians can appreciate it because it's primarily presented as a work of poetry. It can be really simple with just the readers on stools, or it could be dramatized with dancers, mimes (!), video/slides, etc. Maybe I should tell the mastermime about it.
If you've seen it, help me out! What else to say? Do you think there's an audience for it?
I would think it would be the kind of thing that Emergent churches would like to do. Actually it's good for any church - the emergent and mainline snobs can enjoy it as a unique work of art, and the crazy fundamentalists can read it as part of prophecy conference. It's a win-win! Maybe I should be contacting the Left Behind juggernaut about this...
At any rate, I'm posting this b/c I thought someone who reads might have an idea of who I could strategically submit to. I don't want to waste my or publishers' time. And maybe nobody wants it. But it seems like this crazy end-times stuff just keeps getting more popular. So why not ride the bandwagon?
In all seriousness, I care a lot about my little play, a lot of work went into it, and a lot of good theology informed it. It's my secret weapon against the fundamentalists....maybe when they hear it artistically they'll realize it's full of metaphors....
Anyway, if anyone has any thoughts, I am all ears. And in case I haven't described it before on here, it's a Readers Theater of the entire book of Revelation. It has 7 cast members who pretty much read equal amounts of time (John, the narrator, a little more than the others). It is exactly from Scripture (NRSV) with nothing changed, added, or deleted. It takes about 1.5 hours to read, and believe it or not, it's pretty engaging - the time goes quickly.
I think even non-Christians can appreciate it because it's primarily presented as a work of poetry. It can be really simple with just the readers on stools, or it could be dramatized with dancers, mimes (!), video/slides, etc. Maybe I should tell the mastermime about it.
If you've seen it, help me out! What else to say? Do you think there's an audience for it?
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Expectations
Here is something that I did not expect: I have more trouble agreeing with my fellow Episcopalians on campus than with those of different denominations. J keeps telling me I should have known, because what kind of Episcopalian would go to Fuller except an Evangelical one? (well there is me, but he seems to consider me the major exception to the rule, and I think he's right)
We actually had an argument in the Episcopal polity class about baptism! I mean, I'm sitting a few hours earlier in my baptism practicum and everybody is completely respecting everyone else - I am sitting there in a group from different mainline churches, and we all can come to perfect agreement on infant baptism, and even though they may not see baptism as doing what I see it doing, they think my way is "cool."
Then I go to the Episcopal class and these people don't understand infant baptism at all. I had to convince (which I didn't do at all) the people who were supposed to already agree! I was blown away. I mean, I had heard that this was still an issue, but do you know there are churches around here that will let you completely redo your baptism (though they call it anamnesis or "remembrance") as an adult?? How unbiblical to validate the mistaken belief that one's infant baptism somehow didn't count.
But the makeup of this group belies many prejudices. One person attends St. James Newport Beach, which is one of the churches now under the Anglican Province of Uganda (so he's not Episcopalian at all), one attends St. Lukes in La Crescenta, which belongs to the same organization as the splitters but they didn't split, and one has spent the last 10 years as "post-denominational" (bascially Evangelical) before God led her to the Episcopal church.
There there are three of us who are relatively new Episcopalians and are completely embracing that.
The thing I sense in all of these others is that they are somehow ashamed of who we are. I attended a service at St. Luke's and it was simply not Episcopal. We just didn't do anything any differently from the high church Presbyterian I used to attend. And I thought, where is my liturgy? My beautiful liturgy, the reason I love my church? And I also thought: huh, praise band and movie screens.
Yet I think the latter could be done effectively in the Episcopal Church (though I personally find them unnecessary and distracting). The thing that bothered me was throwing out the liturgy. Cancelling the epistle reading, our responsive statements, the corporate intercessions, even the greeting (which was "Good Evening" instead of "The Lord Be With You").
See we don't have to change who we are to attract people. I've been to several other Episcopal churches that are owning their identity and their gifts. They are not empty. This other service was empty.
The whole thing is just so frustrating. Now I am encountering the difficulty of being who I am at this seminary. And it's just so surprising that the troubles - the weirdness and the closedmindedness - are coming from my fellow Episcopalians. Days like these, I wish I were at Episcopal Seminary. No, actually, I wish I were at Fuller and was the only Episcopalian there. Sometimes that would be easier.
We actually had an argument in the Episcopal polity class about baptism! I mean, I'm sitting a few hours earlier in my baptism practicum and everybody is completely respecting everyone else - I am sitting there in a group from different mainline churches, and we all can come to perfect agreement on infant baptism, and even though they may not see baptism as doing what I see it doing, they think my way is "cool."
Then I go to the Episcopal class and these people don't understand infant baptism at all. I had to convince (which I didn't do at all) the people who were supposed to already agree! I was blown away. I mean, I had heard that this was still an issue, but do you know there are churches around here that will let you completely redo your baptism (though they call it anamnesis or "remembrance") as an adult?? How unbiblical to validate the mistaken belief that one's infant baptism somehow didn't count.
But the makeup of this group belies many prejudices. One person attends St. James Newport Beach, which is one of the churches now under the Anglican Province of Uganda (so he's not Episcopalian at all), one attends St. Lukes in La Crescenta, which belongs to the same organization as the splitters but they didn't split, and one has spent the last 10 years as "post-denominational" (bascially Evangelical) before God led her to the Episcopal church.
There there are three of us who are relatively new Episcopalians and are completely embracing that.
The thing I sense in all of these others is that they are somehow ashamed of who we are. I attended a service at St. Luke's and it was simply not Episcopal. We just didn't do anything any differently from the high church Presbyterian I used to attend. And I thought, where is my liturgy? My beautiful liturgy, the reason I love my church? And I also thought: huh, praise band and movie screens.
Yet I think the latter could be done effectively in the Episcopal Church (though I personally find them unnecessary and distracting). The thing that bothered me was throwing out the liturgy. Cancelling the epistle reading, our responsive statements, the corporate intercessions, even the greeting (which was "Good Evening" instead of "The Lord Be With You").
See we don't have to change who we are to attract people. I've been to several other Episcopal churches that are owning their identity and their gifts. They are not empty. This other service was empty.
The whole thing is just so frustrating. Now I am encountering the difficulty of being who I am at this seminary. And it's just so surprising that the troubles - the weirdness and the closedmindedness - are coming from my fellow Episcopalians. Days like these, I wish I were at Episcopal Seminary. No, actually, I wish I were at Fuller and was the only Episcopalian there. Sometimes that would be easier.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Sacramental Theology
“For straightaway after they come up from the waters, they are led to the awesome table...where they taste of the Master's body and blood, and become a dwelling place for the Holy Spirit. Since they have put on Christ himself, wherever they go they are like angels on earth, rivalling the brilliance of the rays of the sun.”
John Chrysostom, from a catechetical address delivered at Antioch during Lent c. 390 AD
Sorry I've been MIA for a few days, I've got a ton of papers to write. Writing a baptism rite (annotated) for my worship practicum, which will probably be my jumping-off point to writing a paper on sacramental theology for Episcopal polity. I'm really into this whole thing. It's such a different way from how I was raised. J says it's a different religion. It's definitely a very different way of understanding the Church and the definition of Christian.
“The difference between infant Baptism and believers' Baptism is easily exaggerated. Although in the latter the candidate can declare his faith, it may or may not reflect a true commitment. Far more important is the response of faith of the Church into which one is sacramentally incorporated by Baptism. This is true both for an adult and for an infant.”
Prayer Book Studies
It's about what the Church does. Actually, it's first about what God does, then about the Church's response. It's not really at all about the candidate doing anything.
So little of God's work in us and in the Church is about what we do. It serves us well to remember that.
But I must go write papers. That is the work I must do.
John Chrysostom, from a catechetical address delivered at Antioch during Lent c. 390 AD
Sorry I've been MIA for a few days, I've got a ton of papers to write. Writing a baptism rite (annotated) for my worship practicum, which will probably be my jumping-off point to writing a paper on sacramental theology for Episcopal polity. I'm really into this whole thing. It's such a different way from how I was raised. J says it's a different religion. It's definitely a very different way of understanding the Church and the definition of Christian.
“The difference between infant Baptism and believers' Baptism is easily exaggerated. Although in the latter the candidate can declare his faith, it may or may not reflect a true commitment. Far more important is the response of faith of the Church into which one is sacramentally incorporated by Baptism. This is true both for an adult and for an infant.”
Prayer Book Studies
It's about what the Church does. Actually, it's first about what God does, then about the Church's response. It's not really at all about the candidate doing anything.
So little of God's work in us and in the Church is about what we do. It serves us well to remember that.
But I must go write papers. That is the work I must do.
Friday, May 06, 2005
A Word from Brother Roger of Taize
FROM ONE BEGINNING TO ANOTHER
Brother Roger
If, at each dawn, we were able to welcome the new day like a beginning of a new life... As the psalmist says, “Whoever advances toward God goes from one beginning to another.”
Do we realize that God buries our past in the heart of Christ, and is going to take care of our future? Were it possible to fathom our human heart, the surprising thing would be to discover there the longing, short-lived or long-lasting, for an invisible presence.
Although there may well be shocks and even upheavals in our lives, the Risen Christ is there. If Jesus had not lived among us, God would seem far away, unattainable. But, by his birth and his life on earth, Jesus let who God was shine through. God’s trust in human beings was so great that he hoped they would recognize him in a newborn baby and in a crucified man.
And if Christ were not risen, he would not be present today alongside us. He would remain one exceptional individual among others in the history of humanity. But it would not be possible to converse with him in prayer. He could not say to us, “When you are going through the harshest trials, I am present underneath your despair. And remember: I am also in the depths of your radiant hopes.” Christ does not only wait for us in light, in peace, in joy. He is also present in the distress of those who grope along to find a way out.
There can be moments when things look dark. But such obscurity is not pitch-darkness. It is not the dead of night. The light of Christ still penetrates it. Chase away fleeting troubles like a child blowing on a fallen leaf. Don’t cling to worries like a hand clutching the branch of a thorn bush; let go instead. Surrender to Christ whatever assails your heart.
Of course there are trials in every life; they can be very hard to bear. Peace of heart is as deep as the sea. Sometimes we may be agitated, like the sea when it is stirred up by a gust of wind. But this disturbance only affects the surface. Silent happiness, peace, remain close by and are so much greater. One of the things Christians are called to do is to welcome the joy of Easter, born at the heart of the seemingly greatest failure, the cross, and to be bearers of that joy.
With a simple heart, almost a child’s soul, happy are they who say to Christ: Risen Christ, you see who I am. And you welcome me with what I am. My thirsting heart asks you: Christ Jesus, unify my desire and my thirst.
When we pray, even if our lips remain closed, our heart can be open before God. God’s voice makes itself understood - an inner voice, steeped in silence. We are awakened above all in prayer.
Even if we have very little faith, will we say to Christ: what do you expect of me? May we always remember this: the wellsprings of jubilation will never run dry when a heart that trusts goes from one beginning to another.
Brother Roger
If, at each dawn, we were able to welcome the new day like a beginning of a new life... As the psalmist says, “Whoever advances toward God goes from one beginning to another.”
Do we realize that God buries our past in the heart of Christ, and is going to take care of our future? Were it possible to fathom our human heart, the surprising thing would be to discover there the longing, short-lived or long-lasting, for an invisible presence.
Although there may well be shocks and even upheavals in our lives, the Risen Christ is there. If Jesus had not lived among us, God would seem far away, unattainable. But, by his birth and his life on earth, Jesus let who God was shine through. God’s trust in human beings was so great that he hoped they would recognize him in a newborn baby and in a crucified man.
And if Christ were not risen, he would not be present today alongside us. He would remain one exceptional individual among others in the history of humanity. But it would not be possible to converse with him in prayer. He could not say to us, “When you are going through the harshest trials, I am present underneath your despair. And remember: I am also in the depths of your radiant hopes.” Christ does not only wait for us in light, in peace, in joy. He is also present in the distress of those who grope along to find a way out.
There can be moments when things look dark. But such obscurity is not pitch-darkness. It is not the dead of night. The light of Christ still penetrates it. Chase away fleeting troubles like a child blowing on a fallen leaf. Don’t cling to worries like a hand clutching the branch of a thorn bush; let go instead. Surrender to Christ whatever assails your heart.
Of course there are trials in every life; they can be very hard to bear. Peace of heart is as deep as the sea. Sometimes we may be agitated, like the sea when it is stirred up by a gust of wind. But this disturbance only affects the surface. Silent happiness, peace, remain close by and are so much greater. One of the things Christians are called to do is to welcome the joy of Easter, born at the heart of the seemingly greatest failure, the cross, and to be bearers of that joy.
With a simple heart, almost a child’s soul, happy are they who say to Christ: Risen Christ, you see who I am. And you welcome me with what I am. My thirsting heart asks you: Christ Jesus, unify my desire and my thirst.
When we pray, even if our lips remain closed, our heart can be open before God. God’s voice makes itself understood - an inner voice, steeped in silence. We are awakened above all in prayer.
Even if we have very little faith, will we say to Christ: what do you expect of me? May we always remember this: the wellsprings of jubilation will never run dry when a heart that trusts goes from one beginning to another.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Theological Custody of Worship
This is a response to "Liturgy in the Age of Certainty" By Frank C. Senn [From Christian Liturgy: Catholic and Evangelical. Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg Fortress, 1997. pp. 483-525.]
“Liturgy in the age of certainty served as a confessional symbol.” “The idea of worship as primary theology or living dogma.” “Patterns and acts of worship both express and form the beliefs of the worshipers.” “A lesson from this 'age of certainty' is the need for a theological custody of worship.”
What have I been saying all along?
We draw our theology, our ethics, our discipleship, our worldview – from our worship. Liturgist James White goes so far as to call Sacraments the “Third Testament.”[1] If you ask an Orthodox Christian what they believe about a theological point, they will read to you from their liturgy. They can’t explain it – they simply must do it (this doesn’t sound too different from the statements of artists).
People do not realize – because they have not been taught – how much they are formed by their worship. And if their worship is aesthetically poor, theologically lacking, historically ungrounded, or irresponsibly executed, then they find their faith shallow and meaningless.
This is why we must take our liturgy seriously; we must educate our congregations. Worship will shape them whether we like it or not, because in worship, particularly in the sacraments, God moves. And a person cannot encounter the living God without being changed.
Oh, God, let your Church take greater care of their liturgy! Our “theological custody of worship” is a sacred and holy duty. Forgive us for using the sacred rituals of your self-giving to further our own divisions and nurse our pride. Give us a humble spirit when approaching the hallowed ground where we commune with you. Let us strive to find each our own language, which allows us to get out of the way and through our liturgy accept the magnificent self-gifts you desire to give us. Amen.
[1] White, James F. Introduction to Christian Worship 3 ed. (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 2000), 197.
“Liturgy in the age of certainty served as a confessional symbol.” “The idea of worship as primary theology or living dogma.” “Patterns and acts of worship both express and form the beliefs of the worshipers.” “A lesson from this 'age of certainty' is the need for a theological custody of worship.”
What have I been saying all along?
We draw our theology, our ethics, our discipleship, our worldview – from our worship. Liturgist James White goes so far as to call Sacraments the “Third Testament.”[1] If you ask an Orthodox Christian what they believe about a theological point, they will read to you from their liturgy. They can’t explain it – they simply must do it (this doesn’t sound too different from the statements of artists).
People do not realize – because they have not been taught – how much they are formed by their worship. And if their worship is aesthetically poor, theologically lacking, historically ungrounded, or irresponsibly executed, then they find their faith shallow and meaningless.
This is why we must take our liturgy seriously; we must educate our congregations. Worship will shape them whether we like it or not, because in worship, particularly in the sacraments, God moves. And a person cannot encounter the living God without being changed.
Oh, God, let your Church take greater care of their liturgy! Our “theological custody of worship” is a sacred and holy duty. Forgive us for using the sacred rituals of your self-giving to further our own divisions and nurse our pride. Give us a humble spirit when approaching the hallowed ground where we commune with you. Let us strive to find each our own language, which allows us to get out of the way and through our liturgy accept the magnificent self-gifts you desire to give us. Amen.
[1] White, James F. Introduction to Christian Worship 3 ed. (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 2000), 197.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
It's a big day
Today I turn 30.
I kicked off 30 by sleeping. A lot. I plan to eat cake for breakfast, go get a Coffee Bean beverage, have lunch with my favorite professor, then maybe sushi for dinner. And more cake.
Today the sun in shining in South Pasadena, although it's hazy enough that I can't see the mountains. There is a funny little squirrel who likes to climb the trees right outside the office window and tease my cats. The mornings here are quiet, except for the parrots, whose screeches echo throughout our little town.
J threw me a wonderful dinner with several close friends on Saturday, then we came home to more friends and cake and balloons and champagne. It's the birthday so big it needs an after-party.
And today is mellow - have to go to classes, and do some homework. Probably won't have any celebration at work, for the first time in five years. They even threw me a party when I was a temp. But now there is really nobody to take charge of such an event so I won't have one, and that's really fine, except that I do miss my work friends.
Anyway, like I said, I'm mellow and very stream-of-consciousness. Maybe I'll go to Episcopal chapel at 10. I really enjoy it. Last week we did Rite I and for the first time in years the liturgy made me cry. I actually heard the words again, since I had to pay attention. They are beautiful. I can see why people had trouble letting them go.
It's a good day. I am glad that at this important birthday I am pursuing what I feel is my vocation. I'm not in a dead-end job and I'm not doing really anything I don't enjoy. I get to work on my passion most days and what a privilege that is! I love where I live. I am married to someone who keeps me sweet, who is my best friend, and who challenges me beyond belief. I have a little cat sitting on my hands as I type, with her front paws on my shoulder and her head nuzzling my chin. There's another pouting in the living room because she can't go outside.
I am truly blessed. It gives some pause to think about entering a fourth decade of life...but at least I've taken charge. I'm doing something worth doing for four more decades. That is good.
I kicked off 30 by sleeping. A lot. I plan to eat cake for breakfast, go get a Coffee Bean beverage, have lunch with my favorite professor, then maybe sushi for dinner. And more cake.
Today the sun in shining in South Pasadena, although it's hazy enough that I can't see the mountains. There is a funny little squirrel who likes to climb the trees right outside the office window and tease my cats. The mornings here are quiet, except for the parrots, whose screeches echo throughout our little town.
J threw me a wonderful dinner with several close friends on Saturday, then we came home to more friends and cake and balloons and champagne. It's the birthday so big it needs an after-party.
And today is mellow - have to go to classes, and do some homework. Probably won't have any celebration at work, for the first time in five years. They even threw me a party when I was a temp. But now there is really nobody to take charge of such an event so I won't have one, and that's really fine, except that I do miss my work friends.
Anyway, like I said, I'm mellow and very stream-of-consciousness. Maybe I'll go to Episcopal chapel at 10. I really enjoy it. Last week we did Rite I and for the first time in years the liturgy made me cry. I actually heard the words again, since I had to pay attention. They are beautiful. I can see why people had trouble letting them go.
It's a good day. I am glad that at this important birthday I am pursuing what I feel is my vocation. I'm not in a dead-end job and I'm not doing really anything I don't enjoy. I get to work on my passion most days and what a privilege that is! I love where I live. I am married to someone who keeps me sweet, who is my best friend, and who challenges me beyond belief. I have a little cat sitting on my hands as I type, with her front paws on my shoulder and her head nuzzling my chin. There's another pouting in the living room because she can't go outside.
I am truly blessed. It gives some pause to think about entering a fourth decade of life...but at least I've taken charge. I'm doing something worth doing for four more decades. That is good.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Outsider Perspectives
My friend who is a self-professed agnostic went to Mosaic a couple of times. He also visited another emergent church in LA called Tribe. He had an interesting perspective. He said that he didn't think either of the churches were for him (an "unbeliever") at all. They were, he said, for people who already were Christians but who wanted to do church in a way that made them feel creative, artistic, hip, and cool. From the outside, he nailed it - and the novelty didn't work on him because it was not for him.
I also must quote his best line of the night. When he asked how big Tribe was a few years ago, someone said 30 people, and when he asked out big now, someone said about 30 people. And he said: "Gee, it's not emerging very fast then, is it?"
Now I know, it's not about numbers - that's the last thing I care about when evaluating the church. But he wisely noted that if this were indeed something truly of God, wouldn't it be getting more popular? Wouldn't it be growing a little bit? Wouldn't it be emerging?
This morning I visited the most Spirit-filled little church. It is St. Barnabas in north Pasadena. It is a teeny weeny place with an older, mostly African-American congregation. You never know how these things may go. There was canned music playing when we arrived (almost first since we had the service time wrong), but it was very pretty. The first thing we noticed (and J cheered) was that the bulletin directed us to the hymnal and prayer book (instead of having everything laid out).
Just before we went to church, J was commenting to me that he likes using the prayer book most of all, more than a bulletin, more than projected liturgy, because in a book the liturgy is permanent. It has gravity, and it means something more to us because we have laid it down in this way. When liturgy flashes on a screen, it is gone in a moment, and (besides the computer program) there's no record of it having been there at all. A bulletin can be crumpled and thrown out. But a book - we respect books. We respect material enough to put it in books. We build libraries to hold books, and we pay money to purchase them, even though we could get them for free. Reading the liturgy out of a book means a lot. We should not neglect this, even in the face of our electronic culture.
But back to the service. A woman behind me touched my shoulder and greeted me, and I began to melt. Everyone seemed genuinely pleased to be there and so happy to see one another.
It began with the usual processional but something interesting happened--this tiny little place filled with organ and singing. Three choir members led us, but the congregation sang with gusto. They were older folks and several moved a bit slowly, but they were sincere and they were great singers. The rector is a warm, charismatic young man, who shares the heritage of the majority of those in his church. He led us into worship with a big smile and booming voice, and the congregation responded heartily. The readers helped illuminate the scripture. My eyes were wet when I heard the Gospel reading (fellow seminarians: when was the last time just hearing the words of Jesus made you cry?). The sermon was eloquent, given by one of my professors, and the rector referred to it repeatedly for the rest of the service, tying things together nicely.
We got to sing a lot in this service. The rector frequently led us in spontaneous worship: prayers of thanksgiving, adoration, and intercession. He gave many opportunities for "the body" (as he called us) to speak - prayer requests, announcements. It drew us together. I felt part of this body even though I knew no one. The passing of the peace was outstanding - it was small enough that everybody greeted everybody, and I got hugs and kisses...holy hugs and kisses.
Sharing the body and blood (they rang the bell for each!) was a family event. People were helped up to the altar, the priest called people by name when sharing the elements. We sang some more together. Rev. Anthony was as comfortable and meaningful when speaking the collect for purity as when talking about spiritual warfare. He simply lived and moved in God, in God's space. And the people there were God's family. They shared something intimate and deep with one another. It was a privilege.
Following the service we were invited to stay for sandwiches, which we did, and we spoke to the people. They were hospitable and loving. No matter what age, color, or gender, they served the stranger in their midst and they shared themselves sacrificially. We had to go too soon. They were starting to have a time of prayer through the Scriptures. It had been two hours and it had flown by.
I realized at the end that I'd had a smile on my face for this entire service. It was holy. It was full of God's spirit. It was so warm. It wasn't perfect, certainly, and there were probably things I could nitpick or have been distracted by. But God was there. God was communicating with me as I'd begged him to prior to the service starting. And it was all so real. People love to throw around this buzzword "authentic" - but this was the real deal. It was this church offering exactly what and who it was to God, with no apologies and the best it could do.
And God said that it was Good.
I also must quote his best line of the night. When he asked how big Tribe was a few years ago, someone said 30 people, and when he asked out big now, someone said about 30 people. And he said: "Gee, it's not emerging very fast then, is it?"
Now I know, it's not about numbers - that's the last thing I care about when evaluating the church. But he wisely noted that if this were indeed something truly of God, wouldn't it be getting more popular? Wouldn't it be growing a little bit? Wouldn't it be emerging?
This morning I visited the most Spirit-filled little church. It is St. Barnabas in north Pasadena. It is a teeny weeny place with an older, mostly African-American congregation. You never know how these things may go. There was canned music playing when we arrived (almost first since we had the service time wrong), but it was very pretty. The first thing we noticed (and J cheered) was that the bulletin directed us to the hymnal and prayer book (instead of having everything laid out).
Just before we went to church, J was commenting to me that he likes using the prayer book most of all, more than a bulletin, more than projected liturgy, because in a book the liturgy is permanent. It has gravity, and it means something more to us because we have laid it down in this way. When liturgy flashes on a screen, it is gone in a moment, and (besides the computer program) there's no record of it having been there at all. A bulletin can be crumpled and thrown out. But a book - we respect books. We respect material enough to put it in books. We build libraries to hold books, and we pay money to purchase them, even though we could get them for free. Reading the liturgy out of a book means a lot. We should not neglect this, even in the face of our electronic culture.
But back to the service. A woman behind me touched my shoulder and greeted me, and I began to melt. Everyone seemed genuinely pleased to be there and so happy to see one another.
It began with the usual processional but something interesting happened--this tiny little place filled with organ and singing. Three choir members led us, but the congregation sang with gusto. They were older folks and several moved a bit slowly, but they were sincere and they were great singers. The rector is a warm, charismatic young man, who shares the heritage of the majority of those in his church. He led us into worship with a big smile and booming voice, and the congregation responded heartily. The readers helped illuminate the scripture. My eyes were wet when I heard the Gospel reading (fellow seminarians: when was the last time just hearing the words of Jesus made you cry?). The sermon was eloquent, given by one of my professors, and the rector referred to it repeatedly for the rest of the service, tying things together nicely.
We got to sing a lot in this service. The rector frequently led us in spontaneous worship: prayers of thanksgiving, adoration, and intercession. He gave many opportunities for "the body" (as he called us) to speak - prayer requests, announcements. It drew us together. I felt part of this body even though I knew no one. The passing of the peace was outstanding - it was small enough that everybody greeted everybody, and I got hugs and kisses...holy hugs and kisses.
Sharing the body and blood (they rang the bell for each!) was a family event. People were helped up to the altar, the priest called people by name when sharing the elements. We sang some more together. Rev. Anthony was as comfortable and meaningful when speaking the collect for purity as when talking about spiritual warfare. He simply lived and moved in God, in God's space. And the people there were God's family. They shared something intimate and deep with one another. It was a privilege.
Following the service we were invited to stay for sandwiches, which we did, and we spoke to the people. They were hospitable and loving. No matter what age, color, or gender, they served the stranger in their midst and they shared themselves sacrificially. We had to go too soon. They were starting to have a time of prayer through the Scriptures. It had been two hours and it had flown by.
I realized at the end that I'd had a smile on my face for this entire service. It was holy. It was full of God's spirit. It was so warm. It wasn't perfect, certainly, and there were probably things I could nitpick or have been distracted by. But God was there. God was communicating with me as I'd begged him to prior to the service starting. And it was all so real. People love to throw around this buzzword "authentic" - but this was the real deal. It was this church offering exactly what and who it was to God, with no apologies and the best it could do.
And God said that it was Good.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Had THE class again
You know, that one that meets 3x per quarter and we had to take it all 3 quarters and it lasts 3 hours. Wow, how trinitarian.
Anyway, the first 2 hours sucked as usual, but the end was great. We'll get to that in a moment. First I have to complain a little about the first 2 wasted hours of my time.
It was this rather befuddled old professor talking about Post-Modernity, and how to Deal with Postmodernism. YAAAA! Help! It's Post-Modernism! How will we ever survive??
It is getting a little ridiculous, all this fear of something that is basically over (except in humanities departments where they can't let go) (I'm going to get angry comments for that, aren't I?) but, as usual, the Christians are several years behind the times and are catching up and realizing the world is Post-Modern and What Are We Going To Do???
I think the church liked modernity so much because it was structured and had rules and had solid end goals and (ironically) depended on man pulling himself up by the bootstraps. Men especially like this, and like to be in power, so modernity suited them just fine.
Now we're in this Post-Modern era and it's all about relating - relating to people, to ideas, to truth. This is women's work. This is Gospel work. And yet the Church is afraid. Believe me - I am in seminary - I sit through class after class about this. I am so bored with it. It's not that big a deal people! It's not a threat!!
I mean geez, if your God is so small that he can't handle someone messing with Truth, then God help you. I think God's been working with the foibles of people for a little while now.
Besides, J tells me that P-M is over, at least in philosophy, which is where it started in the first place. So everybody can relax. I personally think we're acting more like the "me" decade than the slacker/Gen X 90's. The 80's were much more in tune with human nature.
But moving on, we got to spend our last hour listening to three fantastic representatives from fantastic organizations. These are Christians who are morally outraged by something besides R-rated movies and explicit lyrics. I can't really tell what they do better than they do, so I will simply direct you to their websites and tell you that if one (or more) strikes a chord, please get involved.
http://www.cluela.org/ (David vs. Goliath=workers vs. corporations - this group has nationwide ties; they are starting a seminarian's group)
http://www.childshare.org/ (why has the church forgotten its command to care for the orphans?)
http://www.ascendinglights.org/ (hey, here's an idea - let's educate people out of the cycle of poverty!)
'nuff said.
Anyway, the first 2 hours sucked as usual, but the end was great. We'll get to that in a moment. First I have to complain a little about the first 2 wasted hours of my time.
It was this rather befuddled old professor talking about Post-Modernity, and how to Deal with Postmodernism. YAAAA! Help! It's Post-Modernism! How will we ever survive??
It is getting a little ridiculous, all this fear of something that is basically over (except in humanities departments where they can't let go) (I'm going to get angry comments for that, aren't I?) but, as usual, the Christians are several years behind the times and are catching up and realizing the world is Post-Modern and What Are We Going To Do???
I think the church liked modernity so much because it was structured and had rules and had solid end goals and (ironically) depended on man pulling himself up by the bootstraps. Men especially like this, and like to be in power, so modernity suited them just fine.
Now we're in this Post-Modern era and it's all about relating - relating to people, to ideas, to truth. This is women's work. This is Gospel work. And yet the Church is afraid. Believe me - I am in seminary - I sit through class after class about this. I am so bored with it. It's not that big a deal people! It's not a threat!!
I mean geez, if your God is so small that he can't handle someone messing with Truth, then God help you. I think God's been working with the foibles of people for a little while now.
Besides, J tells me that P-M is over, at least in philosophy, which is where it started in the first place. So everybody can relax. I personally think we're acting more like the "me" decade than the slacker/Gen X 90's. The 80's were much more in tune with human nature.
But moving on, we got to spend our last hour listening to three fantastic representatives from fantastic organizations. These are Christians who are morally outraged by something besides R-rated movies and explicit lyrics. I can't really tell what they do better than they do, so I will simply direct you to their websites and tell you that if one (or more) strikes a chord, please get involved.
http://www.cluela.org/ (David vs. Goliath=workers vs. corporations - this group has nationwide ties; they are starting a seminarian's group)
http://www.childshare.org/ (why has the church forgotten its command to care for the orphans?)
http://www.ascendinglights.org/ (hey, here's an idea - let's educate people out of the cycle of poverty!)
'nuff said.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Free Will?
A friend of mine is going through a nasty dispute over a will right now. There's a family member who has caused what should have been a few-weeks process to last nearly a year, and the reward for his efforts is that now he may have found loopholes that will get the whole thing thrown out. He will be rewarded with the largest share of the estate.
Of course it is unjust and feels horribly wrong to my friend. And I am not able to tell her the truth because it is too harsh. So I will write it here.
The rain falls on the righteous and the unrighteous. Bad people do indeed often win, and do indeed get a windfall that should have belonged to the good. Why? Because the good do good, and that often doesn't lead to power in this world.
If he wins, then so be it. It's only money. I know you can let that go. But in regards the injustice, think on this: you have eternal life. You are redeemed. You have an amazing promise of a life that is better and stronger and fuller than he knows.
Is it unfair? Of course. But getting angry doesn't help (something my husband constantly reminds me). The best thing to do is to continue to do right. Because you can trust that God will take care of you. That is better than anything.
And do not fall into the trap of thinking God is testing you to see if you trust Him. That is unfair to God who only has love for you. God hates the situation as well, and God will be there to help you pick up the pieces when it's all over. God says, "Let the evildoer still do evil" (Revelation) but He's got the end of the story for you all written. And it is very, very good.
Final thought from Rev. Barbara Crafton:
Of course you have to plan for the future, as best you can. Of course you have to clean up the messes you made in the past, as best you can. But you can't live in either place. We only live now. If "now" is a place of pain, be present to it and let it be a piercing reminder of that for which you long. Let it burn the extraneous nonsense right out of you, as it certainly will do, leaving only the gold of what is truly important. If "now" is a place of sunshine, be present to it. There will be other moments when you will need the memory of it.
Of course it is unjust and feels horribly wrong to my friend. And I am not able to tell her the truth because it is too harsh. So I will write it here.
The rain falls on the righteous and the unrighteous. Bad people do indeed often win, and do indeed get a windfall that should have belonged to the good. Why? Because the good do good, and that often doesn't lead to power in this world.
If he wins, then so be it. It's only money. I know you can let that go. But in regards the injustice, think on this: you have eternal life. You are redeemed. You have an amazing promise of a life that is better and stronger and fuller than he knows.
Is it unfair? Of course. But getting angry doesn't help (something my husband constantly reminds me). The best thing to do is to continue to do right. Because you can trust that God will take care of you. That is better than anything.
And do not fall into the trap of thinking God is testing you to see if you trust Him. That is unfair to God who only has love for you. God hates the situation as well, and God will be there to help you pick up the pieces when it's all over. God says, "Let the evildoer still do evil" (Revelation) but He's got the end of the story for you all written. And it is very, very good.
Final thought from Rev. Barbara Crafton:
Of course you have to plan for the future, as best you can. Of course you have to clean up the messes you made in the past, as best you can. But you can't live in either place. We only live now. If "now" is a place of pain, be present to it and let it be a piercing reminder of that for which you long. Let it burn the extraneous nonsense right out of you, as it certainly will do, leaving only the gold of what is truly important. If "now" is a place of sunshine, be present to it. There will be other moments when you will need the memory of it.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Class notes
We're discussing music, and someone asks about too much talking (prayers) "interrupting" my experience of coming into the presence of God.
So many things to say...the professor, rightly, said that it's dangerous to go down the road of my experience being the center of worship. He also instructed us away from trying to make something emotional happen during music.
But the thing that didn't get said, that I wonder about, is what exactly does it mean to "come into the presence of God." I mean, what are we actually DOING there? Because if we're just "basking" in the presence, I wonder if we're just rocking out, having some kind of emotional experience no different from a secular rock concert. There must be something we are doing - and that's what we're learning. We do things in God's presence - not just adoration, but also thanksgiving, confession, dedication, offering, etc. And we must attend to the things we are doing, not just how we are feeling!
Brian McLaren talks about post-protestant worship, saying forms of worship are not biblically mandated and necessarily evolve. Worship as spiritual formation. Doing things I may or may not feel like doing to bond to what they represent. Um, yeah, that would be the anglican church. How about PRE-protestant!!
If worship is spiritual formation, and if it evolves, then can we agree that theology can also evolve along with it? That is, can our understanding of God's work in the world grow and change through the years (as it has already), and maybe even our understanding of who God is? Can we deal with new things like the "gay issue" and open theism by realizing that as a church, we are growing up? Over 2000 years God has allowed us to grow up from a baby church into, well, we're probably in our teenage years. And God gives us more as we can handle it. And we learn what that is through worship. Which evolves. It's the circle of life, baby.
So many things to say...the professor, rightly, said that it's dangerous to go down the road of my experience being the center of worship. He also instructed us away from trying to make something emotional happen during music.
But the thing that didn't get said, that I wonder about, is what exactly does it mean to "come into the presence of God." I mean, what are we actually DOING there? Because if we're just "basking" in the presence, I wonder if we're just rocking out, having some kind of emotional experience no different from a secular rock concert. There must be something we are doing - and that's what we're learning. We do things in God's presence - not just adoration, but also thanksgiving, confession, dedication, offering, etc. And we must attend to the things we are doing, not just how we are feeling!
Brian McLaren talks about post-protestant worship, saying forms of worship are not biblically mandated and necessarily evolve. Worship as spiritual formation. Doing things I may or may not feel like doing to bond to what they represent. Um, yeah, that would be the anglican church. How about PRE-protestant!!
If worship is spiritual formation, and if it evolves, then can we agree that theology can also evolve along with it? That is, can our understanding of God's work in the world grow and change through the years (as it has already), and maybe even our understanding of who God is? Can we deal with new things like the "gay issue" and open theism by realizing that as a church, we are growing up? Over 2000 years God has allowed us to grow up from a baby church into, well, we're probably in our teenage years. And God gives us more as we can handle it. And we learn what that is through worship. Which evolves. It's the circle of life, baby.
Documentary about Pastors
A friend of mine is making a cool-sounding documentary. The purpose of the film is to (1) to demonstrate the transformational power of pilgrimage, (2) to showcase ecumenical unity, and (3) to encourage others to seek opportunities for faith-based travel. He is looking for a diverse group of clergy from different denominations and of varying age, race, gender, ministerial experience, congregation size, and geographic location to participate in the project.
If you know of or are a pastor, priest, father, teacher or any other clergy who might be interested in this unique opportunity, please visit www.meriwetherproductions.com/Jerusalem.htm for more information. Applications are due by June 1st!
If you know of or are a pastor, priest, father, teacher or any other clergy who might be interested in this unique opportunity, please visit www.meriwetherproductions.com/Jerusalem.htm for more information. Applications are due by June 1st!
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Today's sermon
If you are on our lectionary, today's Gospel reading was part of the dialogue Jesus held with his disciples just prior to his arrest (John 14:1-14). This passage in particular was the part about his going to prepare a place for them (and us, presumably).
My priest said something that I don't think was her point, but it really got me to thinking. She asked, "Where did Jesus go next, that the disciples could not follow?" (the cross). When Jesus says, I am going to prepare a place for you, does he mean he is opening the way of the cross to humankind? He is going first before his disciples as their example in the life of sacrifice and death?
I have no idea if this is something new or old (though I would presume the latter). Still, it struck me. If you want to converse about this, let's have some comments.
My priest said something that I don't think was her point, but it really got me to thinking. She asked, "Where did Jesus go next, that the disciples could not follow?" (the cross). When Jesus says, I am going to prepare a place for you, does he mean he is opening the way of the cross to humankind? He is going first before his disciples as their example in the life of sacrifice and death?
I have no idea if this is something new or old (though I would presume the latter). Still, it struck me. If you want to converse about this, let's have some comments.
Friday, April 22, 2005
Why "A Big Old Mess" is gone
You may have noticed that I've deleted the post "A Big Old Mess." Many of you read it and your comments opened a great dialogue. I just want to assure you that I did not remove it because of any pressure from any of the parties negatively implicated in the post. I removed it at the behest of someone I care about who did not want friends and family hurt by how it could have been misinterpreted.
I will post some comments from her later.
I will post some comments from her later.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
The Evil MasterMime
Today we had Latin music on the quad. Let me tell you something: mediocre praise choruses sung in Spanish is NOT Latin music! Luckily it got better - almost, I would say, good. Not Kinky or Cafe Tecuba, mind you (who are touring together this summer - must go!), but my toes were tapping.
We got to have class with The Mime today. It was a decent talk, but he had to lead off with a mime set to a Ray Boltz song. Anybody remember "Watch the Lamb?" Whew, that's some stinky cheese! [incidentally I just learned that he did the same exact piece at my friend's church...when she was 8 years old...17 years ago]
Doesn't it defeat the purpose of mime to always do it to music with words?
I shouldn't get started on The Mime. Too many people read this now. The Mime is the beloved of my department. He's been "in residence" for many years and has been given his own Directorship of our dramatic program. People who I truly respect think he is the greatest thing. So I must tread carefully.
Can we at least agree that there is a problem with miming to 20-year-old Christian cheese songs? Why does Christian art equal crap? Why can't we reveal the real truth of the universe without resorting to proselytizing or silliness or obviousness or just being lame?
The quality meter of the average Christian has gotten so low that we accept, even celebrate, that which we'd never allow from Hollywood or the concert hall. Then again, I may misspeak. Britney still sells and reality shows still rate great and what will be the biggest box office movie this summer? Probably not Hotel Rwanda.
*sigh*
We got to have class with The Mime today. It was a decent talk, but he had to lead off with a mime set to a Ray Boltz song. Anybody remember "Watch the Lamb?" Whew, that's some stinky cheese! [incidentally I just learned that he did the same exact piece at my friend's church...when she was 8 years old...17 years ago]
Doesn't it defeat the purpose of mime to always do it to music with words?
I shouldn't get started on The Mime. Too many people read this now. The Mime is the beloved of my department. He's been "in residence" for many years and has been given his own Directorship of our dramatic program. People who I truly respect think he is the greatest thing. So I must tread carefully.
Can we at least agree that there is a problem with miming to 20-year-old Christian cheese songs? Why does Christian art equal crap? Why can't we reveal the real truth of the universe without resorting to proselytizing or silliness or obviousness or just being lame?
The quality meter of the average Christian has gotten so low that we accept, even celebrate, that which we'd never allow from Hollywood or the concert hall. Then again, I may misspeak. Britney still sells and reality shows still rate great and what will be the biggest box office movie this summer? Probably not Hotel Rwanda.
*sigh*
Sunday, April 17, 2005
The Feminarian Goes to Mosaic
First I must ask for your prayers, as my dad today resigned his pastorate, as is his associate, leaving their church with no pastors, and dad & mom w/no jobs, friends, or house. This was the recommendation of the oh-so-helpful survey people who came to "evaluate" the church a while back.
But I want to share with you about my trip to Mosaic, a church here in Pasadena. In the spirit of Ship of Fool's Mystery Worshipper, I'll just list some questions and my answers to sum up the experience (this is going to be long).
The Basics
Name of the church: Mosaic
Denomination: Southern Baptist (so I’ve been told, it’s not made known by the church)
Origin/Mission: Their welcome packet included a confusing five-part mission statement (their “Core Values”):
Wind – Commission: Mission is why the Church exists.
Water – Community: Love is the context for all mission.
Wood – Connection: Structure must always submit to Spirit.
Fire – Communion: Relevance to culture is not optional.
Earth – Character: Creativity is the natural result of spirituality
It sounds pretty but I don’t get how these are connected (the element, “C” word, and sentence of each, that is).
Name of the service: None as far as I could tell, just “Mosaic” or maybe the name of the sermon series, “Imagine: Creating the Life of your Dreams” which was on a huge banner above the big screen. Today’s session, which was introduced by a little film, was entitled “Adapt.”
Kind of service: Sunday morning worship
The cast: Musicians, skit actors and dancers, a preacher, and a guy who did announcements.
The manner of the worship leaders: The musicians were accomplished but when they tried to encourage the crowd it sounded a little weak and forced. Besides this they only sang, didn’t pray or talk. The actors were “in character” so it’s hard to guess their manner. They were trying to be funny and mostly succeeded. The preacher was very loud, yelling at us most of the time, except when he’d affect a hoarse, “meaningful” tone in his voice. The announcement guy was a little dorkier than the rest but he was warm and welcoming.
Description of the congregation/Demographics: The congregation was almost entirely 20-30’s (most looked in college or just out), although there were 2 or 3 older folks (elderly) and maybe 10-15 boomers. I saw one baby, one young child, and one older kid who came in at the end. The musicians looked about 20 (except the boomer playing the bongos), the preacher mid-30’s, and the announcement guy mid-40’s. It was almost entirely white people, although the band was half Koreans. There were a few people of different ethnicities in the group but they were mostly one of a kind. Definitely there’s no problem here with a “hip” look (dyed hair, funky clothes, etc.), so it was hard to tell how wealthy people were. They seemed to be more from Pasadena than LA (not cutting-edge). The majority of people were in casual clothes – not preppy, but clean and pressed.
How full was the building? About ¾ at the start but seemed mostly full by the end. It was hard to guesstimate but I think about 500 were in attendance.
Did anyone welcome you personally? The parking guy, two people at the welcome table (where we purposely hung out – one was a nice young Asian girl who answered our questions and the other was a boomer who seemed a bit nervous of us), and the person handing out programs at the door.
What happened when you hung around after the service looking lost? I was accosted by a woman who gave me a flyer for the women’s breakfast, telling me 6-700 women attend and I should bring my non-believing friends (I don’t know how she knew I was a believer).
How would you describe the after-service coffee? They had lemonade and coffee to drink, and bagels and pastries to eat, all at a charge. We saw a sign for “1 free drink for 1st time visitors” so I asked for a lemonade and was told I had to fill out a guest card. I drank my lemonade with guilt.
How would you describe the pre- and post-service atmosphere? People seem to be there to get church done – not really a feeling of anything in the air. There were many small social groups talking, 2-3 people, but just about shallow things. Most people got inside to get a seat and when it was over they checked out a few tables and talked to friends. It wasn't an especially excited place but it was pleasant enough.
The overall mood or atmosphere of the service itself? It felt mellow…almost to the point of disinterestedness. It was all very loud.
Level/type of participation by laity? I was really surprised that the people didn’t sing (not that they could have heard themselves). They all stood up and listened to the singing, then sat down and listened to the sermon, then left. There were no opportunities to talk, pray, greet one another, or say anything as part of the liturgy. If you didn’t want to sing, you could keep your mouth shut the entire time, and a lot of people did. They were, however, engaged in listening to the sermon, taking notes and/or using their Bibles (the verses were also projected on-screen).
Clergy? One preacher and one announcement man, neither identified themselves, and no other clergy were visible. I don’t know who the clergy were, although I was offered a “Backstage Pass” to talk to them and invited to the “10-Minute Party” afterwards where I could have someone answer questions.
Vocal/Visual/Body cues of leaders: The musicians raised their hands when singing some parts of the songs (words like “Hallelujah”). They mostly stayed standing in one place. The preacher used his hands a lot when talking and paced the stage, obviously wanting to draw the crowd’s interest into his message. He held up his Bible when reading from it and the Harvard Business Review when quoting from it. The announcement guy used a hand-held mic (as opposed to the preacher’s Secret Service-style earpiece) and also paced a little.
What does the congregation do in response? They stood every time we were singing, they clapped for the peppy songs, a few (less than 10) lifted hands (especially when the leaders did), some hugged themselves, some hunched over in prayer. One woman was signing through the songs (to the side, not a leader). Two people at the left were painting. All of the congregational actions, except for a couple holding hands, were individualistic – eyes closed, many hands folded, standing straight up.
What action(s) does the most work in the service? This is a toss-up between the singing and the sermon, but judging by the level of congregational participation, I would say the sermon was most effective for the laypeople.
What is the dramatic high point of the service? I think the congregation most enjoyed the skit, because they whooped for the dance moves (it was about hip-hop dancers) and laughed at the jokes. Most of the service was on an even keel and I didn’t feel especially moved by any of it.
What does this moment say about what is valued? The congregation values being entertained. The clergy value their music and their sermon and maybe can’t decide which is more important?
Which part of the service was like being in heaven? If heaven is anything like this, I don’t want to go.
And which part was like being in... er... the other place? Most especially the music.
Did anything distract you? These glowing orbs on silver pillars that were set about the stage (they glowed through the blackouts, and even changed color).
Are they clearly exhibiting an adherence to any cycle of Christian time? Not that I could tell, although they were in the middle of a nine-week sermon series.
What does the church’s schedule look like? Services at 5 pm Saturday and 9 (two locations), 11, 5 and 7 on Sunday. They have a lot of small groups that meet at various times.
Outline of the worship service: There was no written program (the brochure I got was just an offering envelope, a guest card to fill out, and a list of their services). The service went: five songs, short computer-animated film that introduced the sermon topic, a skit, the sermon (intro, prayer, exposition with scripture interspersed, closing prayer), a greeting to guests, the offering (canned music and announcements on screen), announcements, closing song (same as opening song). The offering and announcements went on for 10 minutes.
Is it linear or layered in progression? Linear.
Do things happen spontaneously or are they carefully planned? They want to seem spontaneous (hence no printed order of worship) but obviously it’s planned because the PowerPoint followed everything perfectly. Even when the preacher said “By the way…” and went into what might have been a tangent, the slide came up with the scripture he was quoting.
What were the exact opening words of the service? The opening of the service was extremely loud music (especially the drums and bass) and a song. The first actual spoken words were “Thank you, sit down” after the songs.
Closing? “It was great to see you, look forward to seeing you next week. Why don’t we have a closing song?” and we did.
Describe the segues: Lighting was used (blackout or change in light) to indicate changes in mood and between worship elements. The short film was a segue from singing to skit. Canned music was used during the offering, during which there were announcements on the screen.
Does anything unexpected or surprising happen? We were really unsure about when the service was ending. The sermon was done, and the preacher closed it in prayer. Then he welcomed the guests and told us not to feel obligated to give to the offering. Then the offering began (people passed paint cans) and several people left. We weren’t sure if that meant it was over. The canned music had come on, as had the announcements that were running before the service, so we thought maybe it was over. But not everyone left so we stayed put. Then the guy got up with the microphone and gave some verbal announcements (which were also put on the screen), and took us into the final song. People were having conversations during all of this, and the audience lights had come on, so it was really hard to tell if it was part of the service or just the coda. After the final song, though, most people left, so we did too.
The neighborhood: Residential, one of the middle class Pasadena neighborhoods.The building: Auditorium of William Carey University
Is there another location(s)? Mosaic has four locations in LA (and seven elsewhere in the country).
Gathering space: The “Connection Village” which is a bunch of tents set up. It looks like an arts fair. Each tent has info about a group or event, or food, or stuff to buy. It’s where people hang out before and after the service – not a lot hang out in the auditorium.
Worship space: A large auditorium (seats probably 1000) with the sides and back rows corded off. Some theater seats were available, but we sat in the front where there were folding chairs. In the very middle in the front were maybe ten cushy armchairs and two café table setups (three wicker chairs around a little wicker table). These seats went first!
The leaders are on a raised stage, with a second raised area behind the main platform, where the non-singing band members reside. Behind is a black backdrop curtain. To the sides of the stage are large silver pillars, probably 30 of them. To the left facing the stage is the area for artists with canvases and lights set up for them. Onstage are large triangular shapes that are lit in blue, and smaller silver pillars topped with glowing orbs. On the back wall is a huge banner that says “IMAGINE,” a smaller one that says, “Creating the Life of your Dreams,” and two huge vertical banners with sketched human figures, a man on one and woman on the other. These are all spotlit.
Subdivisions of space: The theater seats vs. the folding chairs vs. the “coffee shop” chairs; the painters’ area; the two levels of the stage; the pillars which hide the unused parts of the auditorium.
Where congregation/clergy facing? They face each other (with the stage raised).
What liturgical furniture is in place and when/if used? Halfway through the singing I noticed a plain wood table at the front of the stage. It was stark and unfinished and had a white towel on it. I thought it might be their altar or something that the pastor would use. But it turned out to be part of the skit – they actually broke it. Which had a meaning all its own.
Was your seat comfortable? Yes, it was nicely padded for a folding chair, but the length of sermon tested my limits.
What, if any, printed materials are used? None whatsoever.
Describe the prayers: There were two prayers said aloud by the preacher, one at the opening and one at the close of his talk. They were not read but had probably been thought through.
To whom are prayers addressed and how is that person spoken to? The prayers were definitely addressed to the congregation. They were prayers of thanks and request regarding the points of the sermon. Example: “God, thanks that we are adaptable…you know we allow ourselves to be shaped by the wrong things…help us to be pliable…shape us to be your people” etc. Basically he asked that God help us take on the challenge of what he was about to say, and then that God give us the things he just talked about.
Same questions about the sacraments and other parts of the liturgy (i.e. creeds). The only other liturgical elements were the songs and announcements. They did do a warm welcome for guests.
Who is preaching? I have no idea.
In a nutshell, what was the sermon about? God made us adaptable and we have to be able to adapt to be what God wants us to be and to live the life of our dreams. BUT, in order to be adaptable, we must engage the culture, be flexible, and hold strongly to our core convictions.
What is the point (conversion, teaching, narrative, topical)? The sermon was a teaching sermon, using stories from the Bible and a few from life, to give people tools to make their own lives better.
Exactly how long was the sermon? 39 minutes, though it should have been 20. The natives were restless around 33 minutes.
On a scale of 1-10, how good was the preacher? 3: I appreciated his use of Scripture, and the message was good, but he didn’t seem to believe much of what he was saying. It was more like a performance than a personal talk to us.
What is the response(s) to the sermon? There is no corporate response, and since we went straight into the intermission/offering/conversation time, it was kind of chaotic.
The style(s) of music used and from where/when is it? I didn’t know any of the music and there wasn’t any information about it on the screen. It was a pop music style.
Who leads? One female and one male leading singer on each song (two men switched off the male role).
What musical instruments are played? Keyboard, bass guitar, electric guitar, acoustic guitar, drum set, bongos, tambourine, shaker.
Who is participating? Not very many people are singing but there is a lot of movement (mostly bopping along to the music). The congregation’s singing, if there was any, was absolutely inaudible over the drums and bass. If the mics weren’t turned up, the leading singers couldn’t be heard either, which happened when you could see their mouths moving but not hear anything. The building completely absorbed the sound such that I couldn’t hear myself at all (and I can sing pretty loud). Looking around, I noticed most people were not singing, but they were listening to the music and participating with their bodies.
Who is the intended audience? The first four songs were to God and the fifth was more to one another (lyrics like “Together we sing, everyone sing”) and then to God during the chorus.
How does the music fit the order of worship? I had a hard time telling one song from another, but near as I could tell, there was no rhyme or reason to the order of the songs or when they were placed in the service (case in point: the opening/gathering song was the same as the closing/sending song!). They did have four peppy, one mellow, and one peppy again.
Where is the eye drawn? Usually to the big screen, which showed announcements, screen savers, the lyrics of the songs, the band members (in a concert-video style with weird fades and wipes), the actors, the preacher, and the scripture readings. Also to the painters, and to the glowing orbs.
What do you hear? Indian music when we entered, then generic, funky, ethnic music. Drums and bass during the songs. Mercifully at one point there was just keyboard – that was the only time I could hear people singing. Recorded music and talking during the intermission/offering. One thing I did not hear that I’m used to hearing is the noise of children and babies.
Do you use any other senses (smell, taste, touch)? Nope, except the sour taste in my mouth.
What type of sacramental objects are used and to what effect? The only objects I saw were personal Bibles, pens and pads of paper, the paint cans for the offering, and the preacher used a stool as a table and to sit on when praying (and his aforementioned Bible and magazine).
Is art used intentionally? Definitely – there are fancy screensavers behind the song lyrics, the whole stage looks like a set of a futuristic sci-fi film, the painters are there. The preacher brought up a painting of a butterfly, which stood behind him during his sermon. The skit combined acting and dancing (the dancers were not actors, unfortunately).
Does the visual and dramatic environment make an independent contribution to the flow of the service? The lighting and the video segments were used effectively to signal changes in the service mood, but they were intended to do that work. Just the painters, who had no specific correlation to the worship, were independently contributing (although they didn’t really fit into the flow).
How is art used to endorse/undermine the church’s theological values? Putting the painters up front shows that they are welcome and encouraged to worship God with their art. The church wants to be an impressive, moody show, and the sets, lighting, and screen play into that. The drama was silly, which may have undermined its purpose to lead into the sermon. In fact, when they smashed the table, I’m sure that didn’t reflect the church’s feeling about the Lord’s supper. The table wasn’t supposed to represent the altar – it was just part of the skit. I don’t think they intended the correlation I made. But I’m used to seeing a table in church used for the purpose of Eucharist, not to do a cool stunt (a guy in a ninja suit broke it with his hand...don't ask).
How is this church distinctly different from my own tradition? In every possible way, except that we might both believe in God.
Were there new, interesting, unusual liturgical elements? Smashing the table was definitely unexpected. The painters were new to my experience. The kinds of music (especially the ethnic, funky, and techno that played us out) were interesting.
Theological congruence – does the service do what it purports to do? If it means to teach a little and entertain a lot, then yes. If they hope people will come to a deeper relationship with Christ, I question their rather shallow offerings. There’s not much ritual to get into, and I couldn’t see any reason to come back.
What is the level of laity empowerment and laity awareness of their empowerment, such as it is? The laity do run many of the programs and ministries, but it seems that the majority of attendees just come for the show.
How would you feel about making this church your regular (where 10 = ecstatic, 0 = terminal)? 0
Did the service make you feel glad to be a Christian? I have to go with my husband’s comment: “If I thought that’s how Christians are I would never want to be one.”
But I want to share with you about my trip to Mosaic, a church here in Pasadena. In the spirit of Ship of Fool's Mystery Worshipper, I'll just list some questions and my answers to sum up the experience (this is going to be long).
The Basics
Name of the church: Mosaic
Denomination: Southern Baptist (so I’ve been told, it’s not made known by the church)
Origin/Mission: Their welcome packet included a confusing five-part mission statement (their “Core Values”):
Wind – Commission: Mission is why the Church exists.
Water – Community: Love is the context for all mission.
Wood – Connection: Structure must always submit to Spirit.
Fire – Communion: Relevance to culture is not optional.
Earth – Character: Creativity is the natural result of spirituality
It sounds pretty but I don’t get how these are connected (the element, “C” word, and sentence of each, that is).
Name of the service: None as far as I could tell, just “Mosaic” or maybe the name of the sermon series, “Imagine: Creating the Life of your Dreams” which was on a huge banner above the big screen. Today’s session, which was introduced by a little film, was entitled “Adapt.”
Kind of service: Sunday morning worship
The cast: Musicians, skit actors and dancers, a preacher, and a guy who did announcements.
The manner of the worship leaders: The musicians were accomplished but when they tried to encourage the crowd it sounded a little weak and forced. Besides this they only sang, didn’t pray or talk. The actors were “in character” so it’s hard to guess their manner. They were trying to be funny and mostly succeeded. The preacher was very loud, yelling at us most of the time, except when he’d affect a hoarse, “meaningful” tone in his voice. The announcement guy was a little dorkier than the rest but he was warm and welcoming.
Description of the congregation/Demographics: The congregation was almost entirely 20-30’s (most looked in college or just out), although there were 2 or 3 older folks (elderly) and maybe 10-15 boomers. I saw one baby, one young child, and one older kid who came in at the end. The musicians looked about 20 (except the boomer playing the bongos), the preacher mid-30’s, and the announcement guy mid-40’s. It was almost entirely white people, although the band was half Koreans. There were a few people of different ethnicities in the group but they were mostly one of a kind. Definitely there’s no problem here with a “hip” look (dyed hair, funky clothes, etc.), so it was hard to tell how wealthy people were. They seemed to be more from Pasadena than LA (not cutting-edge). The majority of people were in casual clothes – not preppy, but clean and pressed.
How full was the building? About ¾ at the start but seemed mostly full by the end. It was hard to guesstimate but I think about 500 were in attendance.
Did anyone welcome you personally? The parking guy, two people at the welcome table (where we purposely hung out – one was a nice young Asian girl who answered our questions and the other was a boomer who seemed a bit nervous of us), and the person handing out programs at the door.
What happened when you hung around after the service looking lost? I was accosted by a woman who gave me a flyer for the women’s breakfast, telling me 6-700 women attend and I should bring my non-believing friends (I don’t know how she knew I was a believer).
How would you describe the after-service coffee? They had lemonade and coffee to drink, and bagels and pastries to eat, all at a charge. We saw a sign for “1 free drink for 1st time visitors” so I asked for a lemonade and was told I had to fill out a guest card. I drank my lemonade with guilt.
How would you describe the pre- and post-service atmosphere? People seem to be there to get church done – not really a feeling of anything in the air. There were many small social groups talking, 2-3 people, but just about shallow things. Most people got inside to get a seat and when it was over they checked out a few tables and talked to friends. It wasn't an especially excited place but it was pleasant enough.
The overall mood or atmosphere of the service itself? It felt mellow…almost to the point of disinterestedness. It was all very loud.
Level/type of participation by laity? I was really surprised that the people didn’t sing (not that they could have heard themselves). They all stood up and listened to the singing, then sat down and listened to the sermon, then left. There were no opportunities to talk, pray, greet one another, or say anything as part of the liturgy. If you didn’t want to sing, you could keep your mouth shut the entire time, and a lot of people did. They were, however, engaged in listening to the sermon, taking notes and/or using their Bibles (the verses were also projected on-screen).
Clergy? One preacher and one announcement man, neither identified themselves, and no other clergy were visible. I don’t know who the clergy were, although I was offered a “Backstage Pass” to talk to them and invited to the “10-Minute Party” afterwards where I could have someone answer questions.
Vocal/Visual/Body cues of leaders: The musicians raised their hands when singing some parts of the songs (words like “Hallelujah”). They mostly stayed standing in one place. The preacher used his hands a lot when talking and paced the stage, obviously wanting to draw the crowd’s interest into his message. He held up his Bible when reading from it and the Harvard Business Review when quoting from it. The announcement guy used a hand-held mic (as opposed to the preacher’s Secret Service-style earpiece) and also paced a little.
What does the congregation do in response? They stood every time we were singing, they clapped for the peppy songs, a few (less than 10) lifted hands (especially when the leaders did), some hugged themselves, some hunched over in prayer. One woman was signing through the songs (to the side, not a leader). Two people at the left were painting. All of the congregational actions, except for a couple holding hands, were individualistic – eyes closed, many hands folded, standing straight up.
What action(s) does the most work in the service? This is a toss-up between the singing and the sermon, but judging by the level of congregational participation, I would say the sermon was most effective for the laypeople.
What is the dramatic high point of the service? I think the congregation most enjoyed the skit, because they whooped for the dance moves (it was about hip-hop dancers) and laughed at the jokes. Most of the service was on an even keel and I didn’t feel especially moved by any of it.
What does this moment say about what is valued? The congregation values being entertained. The clergy value their music and their sermon and maybe can’t decide which is more important?
Which part of the service was like being in heaven? If heaven is anything like this, I don’t want to go.
And which part was like being in... er... the other place? Most especially the music.
Did anything distract you? These glowing orbs on silver pillars that were set about the stage (they glowed through the blackouts, and even changed color).
Are they clearly exhibiting an adherence to any cycle of Christian time? Not that I could tell, although they were in the middle of a nine-week sermon series.
What does the church’s schedule look like? Services at 5 pm Saturday and 9 (two locations), 11, 5 and 7 on Sunday. They have a lot of small groups that meet at various times.
Outline of the worship service: There was no written program (the brochure I got was just an offering envelope, a guest card to fill out, and a list of their services). The service went: five songs, short computer-animated film that introduced the sermon topic, a skit, the sermon (intro, prayer, exposition with scripture interspersed, closing prayer), a greeting to guests, the offering (canned music and announcements on screen), announcements, closing song (same as opening song). The offering and announcements went on for 10 minutes.
Is it linear or layered in progression? Linear.
Do things happen spontaneously or are they carefully planned? They want to seem spontaneous (hence no printed order of worship) but obviously it’s planned because the PowerPoint followed everything perfectly. Even when the preacher said “By the way…” and went into what might have been a tangent, the slide came up with the scripture he was quoting.
What were the exact opening words of the service? The opening of the service was extremely loud music (especially the drums and bass) and a song. The first actual spoken words were “Thank you, sit down” after the songs.
Closing? “It was great to see you, look forward to seeing you next week. Why don’t we have a closing song?” and we did.
Describe the segues: Lighting was used (blackout or change in light) to indicate changes in mood and between worship elements. The short film was a segue from singing to skit. Canned music was used during the offering, during which there were announcements on the screen.
Does anything unexpected or surprising happen? We were really unsure about when the service was ending. The sermon was done, and the preacher closed it in prayer. Then he welcomed the guests and told us not to feel obligated to give to the offering. Then the offering began (people passed paint cans) and several people left. We weren’t sure if that meant it was over. The canned music had come on, as had the announcements that were running before the service, so we thought maybe it was over. But not everyone left so we stayed put. Then the guy got up with the microphone and gave some verbal announcements (which were also put on the screen), and took us into the final song. People were having conversations during all of this, and the audience lights had come on, so it was really hard to tell if it was part of the service or just the coda. After the final song, though, most people left, so we did too.
The neighborhood: Residential, one of the middle class Pasadena neighborhoods.The building: Auditorium of William Carey University
Is there another location(s)? Mosaic has four locations in LA (and seven elsewhere in the country).
Gathering space: The “Connection Village” which is a bunch of tents set up. It looks like an arts fair. Each tent has info about a group or event, or food, or stuff to buy. It’s where people hang out before and after the service – not a lot hang out in the auditorium.
Worship space: A large auditorium (seats probably 1000) with the sides and back rows corded off. Some theater seats were available, but we sat in the front where there were folding chairs. In the very middle in the front were maybe ten cushy armchairs and two café table setups (three wicker chairs around a little wicker table). These seats went first!
The leaders are on a raised stage, with a second raised area behind the main platform, where the non-singing band members reside. Behind is a black backdrop curtain. To the sides of the stage are large silver pillars, probably 30 of them. To the left facing the stage is the area for artists with canvases and lights set up for them. Onstage are large triangular shapes that are lit in blue, and smaller silver pillars topped with glowing orbs. On the back wall is a huge banner that says “IMAGINE,” a smaller one that says, “Creating the Life of your Dreams,” and two huge vertical banners with sketched human figures, a man on one and woman on the other. These are all spotlit.
Subdivisions of space: The theater seats vs. the folding chairs vs. the “coffee shop” chairs; the painters’ area; the two levels of the stage; the pillars which hide the unused parts of the auditorium.
Where congregation/clergy facing? They face each other (with the stage raised).
What liturgical furniture is in place and when/if used? Halfway through the singing I noticed a plain wood table at the front of the stage. It was stark and unfinished and had a white towel on it. I thought it might be their altar or something that the pastor would use. But it turned out to be part of the skit – they actually broke it. Which had a meaning all its own.
Was your seat comfortable? Yes, it was nicely padded for a folding chair, but the length of sermon tested my limits.
What, if any, printed materials are used? None whatsoever.
Describe the prayers: There were two prayers said aloud by the preacher, one at the opening and one at the close of his talk. They were not read but had probably been thought through.
To whom are prayers addressed and how is that person spoken to? The prayers were definitely addressed to the congregation. They were prayers of thanks and request regarding the points of the sermon. Example: “God, thanks that we are adaptable…you know we allow ourselves to be shaped by the wrong things…help us to be pliable…shape us to be your people” etc. Basically he asked that God help us take on the challenge of what he was about to say, and then that God give us the things he just talked about.
Same questions about the sacraments and other parts of the liturgy (i.e. creeds). The only other liturgical elements were the songs and announcements. They did do a warm welcome for guests.
Who is preaching? I have no idea.
In a nutshell, what was the sermon about? God made us adaptable and we have to be able to adapt to be what God wants us to be and to live the life of our dreams. BUT, in order to be adaptable, we must engage the culture, be flexible, and hold strongly to our core convictions.
What is the point (conversion, teaching, narrative, topical)? The sermon was a teaching sermon, using stories from the Bible and a few from life, to give people tools to make their own lives better.
Exactly how long was the sermon? 39 minutes, though it should have been 20. The natives were restless around 33 minutes.
On a scale of 1-10, how good was the preacher? 3: I appreciated his use of Scripture, and the message was good, but he didn’t seem to believe much of what he was saying. It was more like a performance than a personal talk to us.
What is the response(s) to the sermon? There is no corporate response, and since we went straight into the intermission/offering/conversation time, it was kind of chaotic.
The style(s) of music used and from where/when is it? I didn’t know any of the music and there wasn’t any information about it on the screen. It was a pop music style.
Who leads? One female and one male leading singer on each song (two men switched off the male role).
What musical instruments are played? Keyboard, bass guitar, electric guitar, acoustic guitar, drum set, bongos, tambourine, shaker.
Who is participating? Not very many people are singing but there is a lot of movement (mostly bopping along to the music). The congregation’s singing, if there was any, was absolutely inaudible over the drums and bass. If the mics weren’t turned up, the leading singers couldn’t be heard either, which happened when you could see their mouths moving but not hear anything. The building completely absorbed the sound such that I couldn’t hear myself at all (and I can sing pretty loud). Looking around, I noticed most people were not singing, but they were listening to the music and participating with their bodies.
Who is the intended audience? The first four songs were to God and the fifth was more to one another (lyrics like “Together we sing, everyone sing”) and then to God during the chorus.
How does the music fit the order of worship? I had a hard time telling one song from another, but near as I could tell, there was no rhyme or reason to the order of the songs or when they were placed in the service (case in point: the opening/gathering song was the same as the closing/sending song!). They did have four peppy, one mellow, and one peppy again.
Where is the eye drawn? Usually to the big screen, which showed announcements, screen savers, the lyrics of the songs, the band members (in a concert-video style with weird fades and wipes), the actors, the preacher, and the scripture readings. Also to the painters, and to the glowing orbs.
What do you hear? Indian music when we entered, then generic, funky, ethnic music. Drums and bass during the songs. Mercifully at one point there was just keyboard – that was the only time I could hear people singing. Recorded music and talking during the intermission/offering. One thing I did not hear that I’m used to hearing is the noise of children and babies.
Do you use any other senses (smell, taste, touch)? Nope, except the sour taste in my mouth.
What type of sacramental objects are used and to what effect? The only objects I saw were personal Bibles, pens and pads of paper, the paint cans for the offering, and the preacher used a stool as a table and to sit on when praying (and his aforementioned Bible and magazine).
Is art used intentionally? Definitely – there are fancy screensavers behind the song lyrics, the whole stage looks like a set of a futuristic sci-fi film, the painters are there. The preacher brought up a painting of a butterfly, which stood behind him during his sermon. The skit combined acting and dancing (the dancers were not actors, unfortunately).
Does the visual and dramatic environment make an independent contribution to the flow of the service? The lighting and the video segments were used effectively to signal changes in the service mood, but they were intended to do that work. Just the painters, who had no specific correlation to the worship, were independently contributing (although they didn’t really fit into the flow).
How is art used to endorse/undermine the church’s theological values? Putting the painters up front shows that they are welcome and encouraged to worship God with their art. The church wants to be an impressive, moody show, and the sets, lighting, and screen play into that. The drama was silly, which may have undermined its purpose to lead into the sermon. In fact, when they smashed the table, I’m sure that didn’t reflect the church’s feeling about the Lord’s supper. The table wasn’t supposed to represent the altar – it was just part of the skit. I don’t think they intended the correlation I made. But I’m used to seeing a table in church used for the purpose of Eucharist, not to do a cool stunt (a guy in a ninja suit broke it with his hand...don't ask).
How is this church distinctly different from my own tradition? In every possible way, except that we might both believe in God.
Were there new, interesting, unusual liturgical elements? Smashing the table was definitely unexpected. The painters were new to my experience. The kinds of music (especially the ethnic, funky, and techno that played us out) were interesting.
Theological congruence – does the service do what it purports to do? If it means to teach a little and entertain a lot, then yes. If they hope people will come to a deeper relationship with Christ, I question their rather shallow offerings. There’s not much ritual to get into, and I couldn’t see any reason to come back.
What is the level of laity empowerment and laity awareness of their empowerment, such as it is? The laity do run many of the programs and ministries, but it seems that the majority of attendees just come for the show.
How would you feel about making this church your regular (where 10 = ecstatic, 0 = terminal)? 0
Did the service make you feel glad to be a Christian? I have to go with my husband’s comment: “If I thought that’s how Christians are I would never want to be one.”
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Friday, April 15, 2005
Worship Enrichment
So today I had to go to a "Worship Enrichment" seminar (required for class). Here's some food for thought that I took away from it:
Pick Your Favorite One:
O for a thousand tongues to sing
Healer of our every ill
Bless the lord my soul (taize)
We are marching/Siyahamba
Jesus loves me
Shout to the Lord
Now pick one if it was the only song you could sing for the rest of your life.
"The worship of God's people flows on the river of music." We're missing out on the prophetic voices of the other streams when we only swim in one current.
We make creative use of words, music - and more! - from many times, places, peoples, and cultures to enlarge our vision of God's kingdom and situate ourselves properly within it. When we wrap our tongues around unfamiliar syllables and our ears hear unfamiliar sounds we are dipping our toes into the river of heaven.
"The Preached Word of God IS the Word of God." (my question: Can visual art be the Word also? It's important to note that preaching isn't always perfect - it can NOT be the word of God. Whereas, an image CAN be, or a kinetic experience.)
1 John 1:1-4 (that which we have seen, heard, touched with our own hands concerning the Word of life) - John is tipping us off to the different ways that people get in touch with the Gospel (Audio, Visual, Kinesthetic).
When we talk about the Word of God, we're talking about (a little hierarchy per the seminar speaker):
1) Jesus
2) Bible (and I add tradition because you can't have one without the other - which Bible do we consult? You can't just say "the Bible" without more digging - in fact, I would say it's irresponsible to simply say "the Bible" - it doesn't exist without at least the tradition that gave us the canon, and our traditions have interpreted Scripture, you can't just say "Scripture's clear" because it's always been interpreted by the Church and we are products of that history - and for that matter, how has any of this happened without human reason? We don't have any way to read or interpret what the Bible says without our reason. I don't like this appeal to Biblical authority without acknowledging the role of tradition or reason. I'm so Anglican.)
3) Preached word of God (where do the sacraments go?)
4) Holy Spirit inside heart
A provacative question from Michelle: even though we are an image-oriented society, we still equate knowledge/intellectualism with words. Are we using the way of the world, what the world values, when we rely only upon words?
And I would add: Are we ignoring God's original revelation in creation? God doesn't tell, God shows: the Logos was flesh, not spoken; the HS came in tongues of fire, not a sermon; Revelation is depicted through outrageous imagery, not straight-up word. The old testament is full of actions and images. "This is my Son - listen to him" (yet the transfiguration is a visual event, not audio - and perhaps listen to him means look at him, at least in that moment?)
Does an image always need to be explained? Ah, do words also need to be explained? Do they mean anything? Can we really just go with words as the safe way of explanation anymore?
If images can help interpret words, then go that way!
"Our job as preachers is not to innovate but to tell the old, old story" Why does this statement give me such pause?!
Pick Your Favorite One:
O for a thousand tongues to sing
Healer of our every ill
Bless the lord my soul (taize)
We are marching/Siyahamba
Jesus loves me
Shout to the Lord
Now pick one if it was the only song you could sing for the rest of your life.
"The worship of God's people flows on the river of music." We're missing out on the prophetic voices of the other streams when we only swim in one current.
We make creative use of words, music - and more! - from many times, places, peoples, and cultures to enlarge our vision of God's kingdom and situate ourselves properly within it. When we wrap our tongues around unfamiliar syllables and our ears hear unfamiliar sounds we are dipping our toes into the river of heaven.
"The Preached Word of God IS the Word of God." (my question: Can visual art be the Word also? It's important to note that preaching isn't always perfect - it can NOT be the word of God. Whereas, an image CAN be, or a kinetic experience.)
1 John 1:1-4 (that which we have seen, heard, touched with our own hands concerning the Word of life) - John is tipping us off to the different ways that people get in touch with the Gospel (Audio, Visual, Kinesthetic).
When we talk about the Word of God, we're talking about (a little hierarchy per the seminar speaker):
1) Jesus
2) Bible (and I add tradition because you can't have one without the other - which Bible do we consult? You can't just say "the Bible" without more digging - in fact, I would say it's irresponsible to simply say "the Bible" - it doesn't exist without at least the tradition that gave us the canon, and our traditions have interpreted Scripture, you can't just say "Scripture's clear" because it's always been interpreted by the Church and we are products of that history - and for that matter, how has any of this happened without human reason? We don't have any way to read or interpret what the Bible says without our reason. I don't like this appeal to Biblical authority without acknowledging the role of tradition or reason. I'm so Anglican.)
3) Preached word of God (where do the sacraments go?)
4) Holy Spirit inside heart
A provacative question from Michelle: even though we are an image-oriented society, we still equate knowledge/intellectualism with words. Are we using the way of the world, what the world values, when we rely only upon words?
And I would add: Are we ignoring God's original revelation in creation? God doesn't tell, God shows: the Logos was flesh, not spoken; the HS came in tongues of fire, not a sermon; Revelation is depicted through outrageous imagery, not straight-up word. The old testament is full of actions and images. "This is my Son - listen to him" (yet the transfiguration is a visual event, not audio - and perhaps listen to him means look at him, at least in that moment?)
Does an image always need to be explained? Ah, do words also need to be explained? Do they mean anything? Can we really just go with words as the safe way of explanation anymore?
If images can help interpret words, then go that way!
"Our job as preachers is not to innovate but to tell the old, old story" Why does this statement give me such pause?!
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Faux Pas
Today I asked a question in class and I heard someone say, "Why don't you take church history?" Well, they were right. It was probably inappropriate to ask, and I get bothered by that all the time. I need to stop talking so much! It's not always about me and MY education.
I guess I also goofed on the type of Quaker service I meant to refer to.
And I dumped coffee on myself.
Doing really well today.
I guess I also goofed on the type of Quaker service I meant to refer to.
And I dumped coffee on myself.
Doing really well today.
Quick post today
Today on Feminary it's Vocabulary Day! Because I learned a new word. I am not, as recently accused by my husband, a relativist. I am latitudinarian. Now you may go look that up.
Also I just have to express my surprise that a classmate told me she went to a Taize service and really didn't like it at all. And I'm thinking, what's not to like? Well, I guess if you aren't comfortable with silence or repetition or whatever. But no, what she didn't like was how planned the service was. She was unable to worship with a bulletin before her telling her everything that was going to happen. She must like twist endings I guess.
And so we learn yet another aspect of Christian worship language. Some people genuinely don't want planning - or really, don't want to know what's been planned. I should recommend the Quaker church to her.
Also I just have to express my surprise that a classmate told me she went to a Taize service and really didn't like it at all. And I'm thinking, what's not to like? Well, I guess if you aren't comfortable with silence or repetition or whatever. But no, what she didn't like was how planned the service was. She was unable to worship with a bulletin before her telling her everything that was going to happen. She must like twist endings I guess.
And so we learn yet another aspect of Christian worship language. Some people genuinely don't want planning - or really, don't want to know what's been planned. I should recommend the Quaker church to her.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Today, give thanks
Rise before the sun and watch the sky turn shades of purple, pink, orange, and yellow.
Let a cat sit on your shoulder and purr into your ear.
Notice the mountains and the trees. If there are electrical wires in your view, thank God for the light they provide.
Savor the warmth of your coffee.
Stay under the sheets a little longer, and then get up and into something warm. Be relieved that it's not hot yet.
Listen to the birds. If all you hear is traffic, be thankful that we have cars to help us get around.
Say good morning to your neighbor.
As you pick up groceries, think about where they came from. They weren't always shrink-wrapped for your convenience. Someone put them together this way to make it easier for you.
For Amelia, the most incredibly beautiful baby, who is 4 days old today.
You can read this. I can write this.
Abraham Kuyper said that there is not a single square inch of the earth over which God doesn't say, "This is mine."
My friend Sam says that there is not a single square inch of the earth through which God doesn't say, "Look at me! Here I am!"
Don't let this day go by without noticing something. God won't interrupt our busy schedules, but God will be there if we look.
Let a cat sit on your shoulder and purr into your ear.
Notice the mountains and the trees. If there are electrical wires in your view, thank God for the light they provide.
Savor the warmth of your coffee.
Stay under the sheets a little longer, and then get up and into something warm. Be relieved that it's not hot yet.
Listen to the birds. If all you hear is traffic, be thankful that we have cars to help us get around.
Say good morning to your neighbor.
As you pick up groceries, think about where they came from. They weren't always shrink-wrapped for your convenience. Someone put them together this way to make it easier for you.
For Amelia, the most incredibly beautiful baby, who is 4 days old today.
You can read this. I can write this.
Abraham Kuyper said that there is not a single square inch of the earth over which God doesn't say, "This is mine."
My friend Sam says that there is not a single square inch of the earth through which God doesn't say, "Look at me! Here I am!"
Don't let this day go by without noticing something. God won't interrupt our busy schedules, but God will be there if we look.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Oh, crapper
I said I'd write every day. So here I am, even though I must rush off to a rehearsal on the other side of town soon. On the other side of town, in LA, means I'll be driving at least an hour. Whoopee!
Anyway it's already burdensome to keep up this pace. Can I cheat since I wrote twice yesterday?
I got my grades and I'm actually doing really well. I am a little surprised. I always did great in school, but I'm not exactly in my comfort zone with the kinds of things I'm studying. Still, it turns out applying yourself (and having some brains to begin with) does the trick.
Can we talk about body image for just a sec? Because I am so obsessed at the moment. I hit that nasty time when suddenly your waistbands are cutting into your flesh. And I did the big naughty and went and bought two new pairs of shorts that fit my new giant ass. You know, I only really get bothered about my weight when my clothes stop fitting. And by then, it's usually too late to do anything except buy new clothes. I tend to be okay at maintaining weight, but losing just seems not to happen anymore. This year I turn thirty. Actually in less than a month. And I guess my metabolism is simply gone.
Anyway, as all students of any level know, it's nearly impossible not to put on a few pounds what with all the grabbing of food between classes and eating on the run and free pizza.
Speaking of free pizza, there was such in our courtyard today, with a program by a couple of guys who were in Iraq (one was a soldier but I'm not sure about the other) who are disillusioned and now protesting the war. There were a lot of people listening politely, but lots of people seemed pissed off. Like the guy would say that the media wasn't allowed to record wounded or dead soldiers being shipped away, and the person next to me said, "Why do they have to see everything?", so I suggested maybe because it's their job to keep the American public informed about what's going on over there. Then he simply said that the media are biased. Ah, that old chestnut. And it turns out that the media that he think are lefties I think are righties. Having worked four years at a journalism school, I realize that media people really try so hard not to be biased. They report what's there. And if what is there disagrees with your personal politics, then you're simply not living in reality.
More from the reality-based world later. I haven't nearly got the time to get into politics.
Anyway it's already burdensome to keep up this pace. Can I cheat since I wrote twice yesterday?
I got my grades and I'm actually doing really well. I am a little surprised. I always did great in school, but I'm not exactly in my comfort zone with the kinds of things I'm studying. Still, it turns out applying yourself (and having some brains to begin with) does the trick.
Can we talk about body image for just a sec? Because I am so obsessed at the moment. I hit that nasty time when suddenly your waistbands are cutting into your flesh. And I did the big naughty and went and bought two new pairs of shorts that fit my new giant ass. You know, I only really get bothered about my weight when my clothes stop fitting. And by then, it's usually too late to do anything except buy new clothes. I tend to be okay at maintaining weight, but losing just seems not to happen anymore. This year I turn thirty. Actually in less than a month. And I guess my metabolism is simply gone.
Anyway, as all students of any level know, it's nearly impossible not to put on a few pounds what with all the grabbing of food between classes and eating on the run and free pizza.
Speaking of free pizza, there was such in our courtyard today, with a program by a couple of guys who were in Iraq (one was a soldier but I'm not sure about the other) who are disillusioned and now protesting the war. There were a lot of people listening politely, but lots of people seemed pissed off. Like the guy would say that the media wasn't allowed to record wounded or dead soldiers being shipped away, and the person next to me said, "Why do they have to see everything?", so I suggested maybe because it's their job to keep the American public informed about what's going on over there. Then he simply said that the media are biased. Ah, that old chestnut. And it turns out that the media that he think are lefties I think are righties. Having worked four years at a journalism school, I realize that media people really try so hard not to be biased. They report what's there. And if what is there disagrees with your personal politics, then you're simply not living in reality.
More from the reality-based world later. I haven't nearly got the time to get into politics.
Monday, April 11, 2005
So here's what's been going on
This quarter is such icing on the cake. It's all classes that are exactly what I want to study. I know later when I'm taking three systematic theology classes at once from fundamentalists I will regret this. But for now, I'm so happy.
(and I was kidding - near as I can tell, no fundamentalists at Fuller, at least not in the faculty population - students are another story, but we're working on them)
So I'm taking two classes in worship (one is how to do it and the other is "let's think about it"), and Episcopal polity. Bet you didn't know we did that at Fuller! Me neither. But there you have it. The latter is a directed reading which means we don't meet regularly, just a few times, and we're supposed to be reading, but I have yet to even get my books yet. Not the best format for a procrastinator.
But the other two classes are interesting and annoying and stimulating and I think I may actually learn something. I'm really getting what I came to Fuller for - the diversity. There are people from me, ultimate high church gal, to those who are so nondenominational that they don't even know what "ordination" means. For the most part the classes vascillate between lots of questions by people who are ignorant about just about everything church-related to lots of discussion about different traditions.
And I have to admit it is really hard, in those situations, to accept that your own tradition isn't necessarily the best. Well, it's hard even to listen to other people sometimes. Especially if you think they are shortchanging their congregations by denying them the beauty of liturgy, or forcing upon them the banality of contemporary music, or any number of the pet peeves that drove me from the Evangelical church. And yet, and yet. My prof insists we can learn from one another. So we try to drop our smugness (it's all around, it's not just me) and listen.
I will say that from what I've seen of emerging church, it's a trend that will fade quickly. There is simply not enough substance there. But I haven't got time to go into it now. I don't know what the American church's salvation will be. I have a feeling it lies in the laity, though, not in the clergy. People need to be educated about what church is, what they are doing there, what the body of Christ is about. That is what I want to do - train better worshippers.
Yesterday we attended St. James, South Pasadena, and visited a newcomer event. Never have I been to a church where the people so "get" what church is really about. All of them are involved - most were recruited to usher, and even serve on vestry, inside of a year (several told stories of being asked to usher within the first couple weeks!). Nobody in that room isn't doing something at the church. They understand that they gather to serve, not simply to sit. They work with the children or youth, they usher, they LEM, they sing, they read. And as near as I can tell, it's all laity-driven. The rector isn't asking - people are just doing it. That, my friends, is a body that is getting it. They understand that their role isn't to sit by and wait for the leader to make church happen. They are the church. They make it happen. They want their church to be ministering according to the gifts of those who attend. They aren't trying to do things they are not gifted for just because it's "expected." They understand that each individual body is made up of members who were called there by God because God had a plan for putting those people together. God actually strategically plans church bodies! God puts gifts together in order to create a particular ministry. And we stifle that work when clergy force the congregation into something they are not gifted in, or when people feel like they want a particular kind of church that doesn't fit the gifts, or whatever.
It's like my parents' church, which has a committed organist and a committed piano player, yet some people are complaining that they want a praise band. There is nobody who wants to actually be in this band, nor is there anyone who could do it. They'd have to hire outside the church. Perfect example of trying to match someone's idea of church instead of going where God leads. They are extremely fortunate to have the committed musicians that they do have (who do it for free, mind you), and maybe God just gave them to the church.
Anyway, I'm totally on my soapbox now. I'll step off.
And hey, check out http://www.shipoffools.com/Mystery/index.html
(and I was kidding - near as I can tell, no fundamentalists at Fuller, at least not in the faculty population - students are another story, but we're working on them)
So I'm taking two classes in worship (one is how to do it and the other is "let's think about it"), and Episcopal polity. Bet you didn't know we did that at Fuller! Me neither. But there you have it. The latter is a directed reading which means we don't meet regularly, just a few times, and we're supposed to be reading, but I have yet to even get my books yet. Not the best format for a procrastinator.
But the other two classes are interesting and annoying and stimulating and I think I may actually learn something. I'm really getting what I came to Fuller for - the diversity. There are people from me, ultimate high church gal, to those who are so nondenominational that they don't even know what "ordination" means. For the most part the classes vascillate between lots of questions by people who are ignorant about just about everything church-related to lots of discussion about different traditions.
And I have to admit it is really hard, in those situations, to accept that your own tradition isn't necessarily the best. Well, it's hard even to listen to other people sometimes. Especially if you think they are shortchanging their congregations by denying them the beauty of liturgy, or forcing upon them the banality of contemporary music, or any number of the pet peeves that drove me from the Evangelical church. And yet, and yet. My prof insists we can learn from one another. So we try to drop our smugness (it's all around, it's not just me) and listen.
I will say that from what I've seen of emerging church, it's a trend that will fade quickly. There is simply not enough substance there. But I haven't got time to go into it now. I don't know what the American church's salvation will be. I have a feeling it lies in the laity, though, not in the clergy. People need to be educated about what church is, what they are doing there, what the body of Christ is about. That is what I want to do - train better worshippers.
Yesterday we attended St. James, South Pasadena, and visited a newcomer event. Never have I been to a church where the people so "get" what church is really about. All of them are involved - most were recruited to usher, and even serve on vestry, inside of a year (several told stories of being asked to usher within the first couple weeks!). Nobody in that room isn't doing something at the church. They understand that they gather to serve, not simply to sit. They work with the children or youth, they usher, they LEM, they sing, they read. And as near as I can tell, it's all laity-driven. The rector isn't asking - people are just doing it. That, my friends, is a body that is getting it. They understand that their role isn't to sit by and wait for the leader to make church happen. They are the church. They make it happen. They want their church to be ministering according to the gifts of those who attend. They aren't trying to do things they are not gifted for just because it's "expected." They understand that each individual body is made up of members who were called there by God because God had a plan for putting those people together. God actually strategically plans church bodies! God puts gifts together in order to create a particular ministry. And we stifle that work when clergy force the congregation into something they are not gifted in, or when people feel like they want a particular kind of church that doesn't fit the gifts, or whatever.
It's like my parents' church, which has a committed organist and a committed piano player, yet some people are complaining that they want a praise band. There is nobody who wants to actually be in this band, nor is there anyone who could do it. They'd have to hire outside the church. Perfect example of trying to match someone's idea of church instead of going where God leads. They are extremely fortunate to have the committed musicians that they do have (who do it for free, mind you), and maybe God just gave them to the church.
Anyway, I'm totally on my soapbox now. I'll step off.
And hey, check out http://www.shipoffools.com/Mystery/index.html
Announcements!
I am making a promise to you that I will try to write every day. It will probably be early in the morning or late at night, so I can't promise coherence, but I am sick of feeling so behind that I'm unable to get started again. So I'm just jumping back in.
And since I was so nicely outed on the Revealer, I can now shamelessly self-promote. My USC office is sponsoring a very cool panel discussion on the upcoming Kingdom of Heaven film. Here is the info:
Monday, April 18, Knight Chair Forum
Whose Crusade? Media, Muslims and the "Kingdom of Heaven"
Join journalism professor Diane Winston, USC Annenberg's Knight Chair in Media and Religion, for a panel discussion with scholars, religious leaders, and film critics about the soon-to-be-released film Kingdom of Heaven, directed by Ridley Scott. Panelists include Aymen Khalifa, a cultural consultant on Islamic issues; John Aberth, historian and author of "A Knight at the Movies: Medieval History on Film"; and Reuven Firestone, professor of Medieval Judaism and Islam at Hebrew Union College in Los Angeles and author of "Jihad: The Origin of Holy War In Islam."
This event is co-sponsored by the USC Center on Public Diplomacy, the Office of Religious Life, the School of Cinema-Television, the School of Religion, the USC Center for Religion and Civic Culture and the TriBeCa Film Festival. Reception follows. RSVPs requested. To RSVP, visit http://ascweb.usc.edu/asc.php?pageID=347&listID=47
5:00 pm, Annenberg Auditorium, Annenberg School for Communication, University of Southern California, Los Angeles. Maps and directions here: http://www.usc.edu/about/visit/upc/driving_directions/index.html
And I have the pleasure of presenting, for the third time, my reader's theater arrangement of the book of Revelation (yes, the entire book). It's really cool and I hope if you are in the LA area you'll come. There are seven readers and they kind of have characters, but mostly just imagine listening to a dramatic reading of the Odyssey or the Divine Comedy and you'll get an idea. It's my work I'm most proud of. Here's the info:
Saturday, April 16, 2005
7:00 p.m.
Travis Auditorium, Fuller Theological Seminary, Pasadena, CA
THE REVELATION OF JESUS CHRIST
A Staged Reading
Text by John of Patmos
Arranged for Reader's Theater by Anastasia McAteer
Oops, now I guess I'm really out.
And since I was so nicely outed on the Revealer, I can now shamelessly self-promote. My USC office is sponsoring a very cool panel discussion on the upcoming Kingdom of Heaven film. Here is the info:
Monday, April 18, Knight Chair Forum
Whose Crusade? Media, Muslims and the "Kingdom of Heaven"
Join journalism professor Diane Winston, USC Annenberg's Knight Chair in Media and Religion, for a panel discussion with scholars, religious leaders, and film critics about the soon-to-be-released film Kingdom of Heaven, directed by Ridley Scott. Panelists include Aymen Khalifa, a cultural consultant on Islamic issues; John Aberth, historian and author of "A Knight at the Movies: Medieval History on Film"; and Reuven Firestone, professor of Medieval Judaism and Islam at Hebrew Union College in Los Angeles and author of "Jihad: The Origin of Holy War In Islam."
This event is co-sponsored by the USC Center on Public Diplomacy, the Office of Religious Life, the School of Cinema-Television, the School of Religion, the USC Center for Religion and Civic Culture and the TriBeCa Film Festival. Reception follows. RSVPs requested. To RSVP, visit http://ascweb.usc.edu/asc.php?pageID=347&listID=47
5:00 pm, Annenberg Auditorium, Annenberg School for Communication, University of Southern California, Los Angeles. Maps and directions here: http://www.usc.edu/about/visit/upc/driving_directions/index.html
And I have the pleasure of presenting, for the third time, my reader's theater arrangement of the book of Revelation (yes, the entire book). It's really cool and I hope if you are in the LA area you'll come. There are seven readers and they kind of have characters, but mostly just imagine listening to a dramatic reading of the Odyssey or the Divine Comedy and you'll get an idea. It's my work I'm most proud of. Here's the info:
Saturday, April 16, 2005
7:00 p.m.
Travis Auditorium, Fuller Theological Seminary, Pasadena, CA
THE REVELATION OF JESUS CHRIST
A Staged Reading
Text by John of Patmos
Arranged for Reader's Theater by Anastasia McAteer
Oops, now I guess I'm really out.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Tithing, worship, book lists...
Well I unfortunately can't find the little paragraph I wrote on tithing that my church published in the following week's bulletin, but suffice to say, the feminarian is serious about it and does NOT take that commitment lightly at all. I will have to get on my soapbox another time, though.
Right now, I have to announce first that I am no longer using dialup!! Curse SBC forever! It's a long story but basically they've done something very naughty with my phone line (let your imaginations run wild) and I can't have their DSL anymore. So it's off to Time Warner cable, even though I'm unhappy about supporting a megaconglomorate, but I could not possibly deal much longer living in the stone age of internet connection.
That said, my parents are still in town so I need to spend time with them. The Feminarian is pleased that I have a really good relationship with them, although we see eye-to-eye almost never on theological issues. So as long as we don't talk about politics and religion, we get along just great. Just like most families!
I wanted to give you a little chart that resulted from the lecture in my worship class. This quarter is the pie quarter: I have two worship classes and Episcopalian polity. Nice! anyway, first I will list the chart. Then I will list some books that are on my suggested reading list for Epis polity. If you can recommend any, I am all ears. I have to read two books in each of four areas: history, theology, worship, and polity/Ang Communion. I like the recommended list but it's much too long and I don't even know which books fit in which areas. So thanks in advance for your help.
Okay, here's the chart:
Contemporary/Emergent
Word/Symbol
Logical/Evocative
Stage/Stations
Order/Choice
Group participation/Individual participation
Content/Ambiance
Linear, Progressive music/Ambient sound, chill track
No sacrament or symbol/sacramental, sacrament-ish
And here's the books:
Geoffrey Cuming, A History of Anglican Liturgy
Pamela W. Darling, New Wine: The Story of Women Transforming...Episcopal Church
Leonel Mitchell, Prayer Shapes Believing (BCP commentary)
Charles Price and Louis Weil, Liturgy for Living
Weil, A Theology of Worship
Robert Prichard, A History of the Epis Church
Ibid, Readings from History of Epis Church
Timothy F. Sedgwick, Sacramental Ethics
Ibid, The Christian Moral Life
Ibid (ed.), The Crisis in Moral Theology in the Epis Church
"The study of Anglicanism" by Sykes, Booty and Knight
"Richard Hooker: Prophet of Anglicanism" by Secor
Right now, I have to announce first that I am no longer using dialup!! Curse SBC forever! It's a long story but basically they've done something very naughty with my phone line (let your imaginations run wild) and I can't have their DSL anymore. So it's off to Time Warner cable, even though I'm unhappy about supporting a megaconglomorate, but I could not possibly deal much longer living in the stone age of internet connection.
That said, my parents are still in town so I need to spend time with them. The Feminarian is pleased that I have a really good relationship with them, although we see eye-to-eye almost never on theological issues. So as long as we don't talk about politics and religion, we get along just great. Just like most families!
I wanted to give you a little chart that resulted from the lecture in my worship class. This quarter is the pie quarter: I have two worship classes and Episcopalian polity. Nice! anyway, first I will list the chart. Then I will list some books that are on my suggested reading list for Epis polity. If you can recommend any, I am all ears. I have to read two books in each of four areas: history, theology, worship, and polity/Ang Communion. I like the recommended list but it's much too long and I don't even know which books fit in which areas. So thanks in advance for your help.
Okay, here's the chart:
Contemporary/Emergent
Word/Symbol
Logical/Evocative
Stage/Stations
Order/Choice
Group participation/Individual participation
Content/Ambiance
Linear, Progressive music/Ambient sound, chill track
No sacrament or symbol/sacramental, sacrament-ish
And here's the books:
Geoffrey Cuming, A History of Anglican Liturgy
Pamela W. Darling, New Wine: The Story of Women Transforming...Episcopal Church
Leonel Mitchell, Prayer Shapes Believing (BCP commentary)
Charles Price and Louis Weil, Liturgy for Living
Weil, A Theology of Worship
Robert Prichard, A History of the Epis Church
Ibid, Readings from History of Epis Church
Timothy F. Sedgwick, Sacramental Ethics
Ibid, The Christian Moral Life
Ibid (ed.), The Crisis in Moral Theology in the Epis Church
"The study of Anglicanism" by Sykes, Booty and Knight
"Richard Hooker: Prophet of Anglicanism" by Secor
Monday, April 04, 2005
Moralistic Theraputic Deism
Sorry not to have time for a proper entry, but I wanted to point you to this story about a new book that's come out:
http://www.therevealer.org/archives/main_story_001837.php
I heard the authors at a conference and it's pretty convincing stuff.
http://www.therevealer.org/archives/main_story_001837.php
I heard the authors at a conference and it's pretty convincing stuff.
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